bila mpangilio Club
jiunge
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone wewe love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard au hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as wewe open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 dakika au so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring au your nails on the blackboard inayofuata time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. inayofuata tamasha wewe go to, yell out "Mmmbop!" between every song.

7. Whenever someone asks wewe a question, say, "What?" As soon as they start to talk again, cut them off with another, "What?"

8. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do wewe think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.

9. Give yourself a really big maziwa mustache at the breakfast meza, jedwali and refuse to wipe it off.

10. Send emails to your Marafiki with subjects reading, "You're never going to believe this!!!" Then leave the message part blank.

11. Tell the same joke over and over and laugh as loud as wewe can at the punchline every single time.

12. Ask someone to borrow a tissue, pretend to blow your nose and stick it back in their pocket.

13. Put garlic powder inside the showerhead in the bathroom (after wewe take a shower, of course).

14. Anytime someone says something, respond, "Yeah, so's your mom."

15. Leave smelly socks on your brother's pillow; blame it on the dog.

16. Tell your friend's crush that she wants to marry him.

17. Break into your inayopendelewa celeb's house and try their clothes on. Wait patiently to be arrested.

18. Fill your mouth with Saltines, then talk to everyone at the table.

19. When someone speaks to you, flinch like they're going to hit you.

20. Pretend your Call Waiting beeps every two dakika while you're on the phone. Keep checking it.

21. Put grapes inside your mom's inayopendelewa slippers.

22. Go to McDonald's and order lobster. After they explain that they don't serve lobster, storm out, shouting, "I should've gone to Wendy's!"

23. Approach a total stranger and ask, "Are my ears wiggling?" making no attempt to wiggle them. As soon as the person walks away, ask, "How about now?"

24. Whistle the pesky Chipmunks' krisimasi song all day. Don't stop until it's stuck in five people's heads.

25. Tell a friend that she has something on her face when she doesn't. Keep telling her to wipe harder.

26. When wewe go to pick someone up, lean on the horn as wewe pull into their driveway. Don't stop until they're in the car.

27. When your brother au sister's dates are over, break out baby pics of them "going potty".

28. Lock the passenger side car door when your friend is trying to get in. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Then unlock it and lock it again when they try to open it. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Repeat.

29. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.

30. Sing the wrong words to songs at the school dance.

31. Point your fingers at a friend in the shape of a gun, make a clicking sound, and say, "Take it sleazy!"

32. Request no MSG on your food-- everywhere wewe go.

33. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did anyone remember to unplug the iron?"

34. At a party, keep telling one of your Marafiki she has bad breath. No matter how many mints she eats, say, "God, did wewe eat tuna for lunch?"

35. When anyone says, "Can I ask wewe a question?" say, "You just did."

36. In class, keep telling your bud that her bra strap is showing.

37. Make up a joke that takes 10 dakika to tell and has no punchline.

38. When answering the phone, say, "Yellow?"

39. Go to a store, buy a bunch of things, and pay for them with pennies.

40. While driving in your friend's car, insist that wewe smell dog poop. Enjoy as she sniffs around.

41. Give the person walking in front of wewe a flat tire. Apologize profusely. Then do it again.

42. inayofuata party, go into the bathroom, steal all of the toilet paper, and listen for the cries of terror.

43. In the cafeteria, pretend wewe dropped something and bend down to get it. While under the table, tie your friend's shoelace to her chair. Then ask her to go get wewe a napkin.

44. Keep asking everyone at the bus stop, "Cold enough for ya?"

45. Tell a friend you'll tape Buffy for her, and purposefully stop taping 10 dakika from the end.

46. Go to the maktaba and play your Walkman loud enough so that everyone can hear your headphones. Stay there for the entire day.

47. While someone's taking a shower, steal their towel.

48. Spend an entire siku speaking with a really fake British accent.

49. When you're in the passenger kiti, kiti cha and the driver changes lanes, scream, "Watch out for that truck!"

50. Blow kisses at everyone wewe meet at the mall.
posted by nmdis
So Far, So Great"


Off to the races
I'm going places
Might be a long shot
Not gonna waste it
This is the big break
And it's calling my name
Yeah

So far so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream's just the beginning
So far so great, believe it
Can't take away this feeling
Taking a ride with chance to my side
Yeah, I can't wait
So far, so great

Might need to wing it
Still gonna bring it
Not gonna sink low
I'm going swimming
swing for the fences
Sky's not the today
Yeah

So far so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream's just the beginning
So...
continue reading...
posted by Bella_Dhampir
Oh, fallacies!

So.. as stupid as this may sound, I've never really known about fallacies. That is, until this year, when we learned about them. To tell wewe the truth, I felt pretty stupid after that English lesson.. not because I had never known about fallacies, but because I realized that I used them in A LOT of arguments. O.o

So I guess I just wanna orodha a couple of maarufu ones, and define them for any of wewe who also don't really know about fallacies, and just talk a bit about them and how I've used them before.

1. ad hominem
This is when the arguer attacks the person instead of the argument...
continue reading...
posted by IloveMyLord

In jealousy there is zaidi of self-love than love.
FranÁois de la Rochefoucauld
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Robert A. Heinlein
There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
Lope de Vega
Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it
unknown
Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer.
Bible
Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most uchungu, chungu of the emotions because associated with the sweetest.
A.R. Orage...
continue reading...
I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely upendo my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place wewe can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do wewe think wewe are messing with? Don't wewe know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
continue reading...
posted by ilovetowrite
How do wewe find motivation to exercise when wewe just don’t feel like getting off your butt? I ask myself this swali every now and then, and I have the feeling I’m not the only one.

A few weeks ago, I wrote 4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit… and the fourth and final step was to add motivation as needed until the habit sticks. This post is to help wewe with that fourth step.

There are a million ways to motivate yourself to exercise, actually, but these are a few that have worked for me. And trust me, I’ve had days when I’ve struggled with exercise. Most recently, the things...
continue reading...
One day, I was walking on the sidewalk on Walden Lane. It was 5:00 in the morning in Lakeland, Florida, and the sun was just coming up. I was whistling "Celebrate Good Times" while dancing a jig. All of a sudden, A guy zoomed down the sidewalk on his bike with his arm out, and smacked me in the face. I fell to the ground from the impact, my face throbbing.
"Watch where your going, jerk!" I yelled, clambering up and waving my fist at him. He turned, laughing at me, but then he peddled into the road and a semi truck zoomed past, almost hitting the guy. I gasped, thinking that he had been hit....
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
I HOPE wewe ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


wewe can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
User: No.


Cleverbot: Yes.


User: I hat u.


Cleverbot: wewe what upendo me ah.


User: I what upendo wewe ah.


Cleverbot: upendo is a state of being. upendo is freedom. upendo is jumping from a cliff with a smile and knowing wewe won't hit the ground. That is love.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes it does.

User: DOES THE BRAVE LITTLE kibaniko, mashine ya kubanika mkate NEED TO SLAP A BITCH?!

Cleverbot: Yes is does.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: We have 3 kids, xavier, gertrude, and amnda.

User: No. It's over 9000. I've already told wewe that OVER 9000 TIMES!

Cleverbot: What would interest you. Tell me and I will blabber about it.

User: Cats.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Blabber...
continue reading...
posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As wewe can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did wewe ever walk in a room and forget why wewe walked in? I think that’s how mbwa spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
continue reading...
posted by iamagagamonster
~~ dont be offended, i upendo bruno mars' music, he just walked into this trap~~

** follow the beat of just the way wewe are **

oh her eyes shadow makes her look like a clown and i hate it
her hair her hair looks like spiders live in it and its weird
shes so creepy
and i tell her everyday

oh i know i know when tell her this she won't believe me
and its so its so sad that she dont see what i see
but everytime she asks me "do i look ok" i say..

when i see your face, theres that perfect thing that i would change cos look at that mustache
girl wewe need to shave

and when wewe smile, the whole world ducks and...
continue reading...
posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse peach, pichi was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", peach, pichi told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
continue reading...
posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did wewe get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been aliyopewa your share !

HE: Will wewe come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make wewe very happy
SHE: Why? Are wewe leaving?

HE: What would wewe say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
continue reading...
posted by nessienjake
I found this on the internet :)

101 Ways To Annoy People
...........................................
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in...
continue reading...
 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of wewe are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat au what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two dakika when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my ipod au laptop for a week if I left it open again. au when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
continue reading...
posted by Gracie1995
The Full orodha from the book STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE – How to find social success with the urban-dwelling middle classes kwa Christian Lander

#129 Banksy
#128 Camping
#127 Where the Wild Things Are
#126 Vespa Scooters
#125 Bob Marley
#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
#123 Mad Men
#122 Moleskine Notebooks
#121 Funny au Ironic Tattoos
#120 Taking a mwaka Off
#119 Sea Salt
#118 Ugly Sweater Parties
#117 Political Prisoners
#116 Black muziki that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
#115 Promising to Learn a New Language
#114 America
#113 Halloween
#112 Hummus
#111 pea, njegere Coats
#110 Frisbee Sports
#109 The Onion
#108...
continue reading...
posted by shiriny
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

zaidi famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy ray cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz
posted by funnyshawna
Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend wewe are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend wewe can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing...
continue reading...
Chapter 2—Canada . . . eh.
    Okay, so this is an barua pepe to my friend who moved to Canada…eh. Her name is Brenna. Eh. I just thought id include it for your benefit. Eh.

“Lahdiedahdiedahdoodoodahdohetehtakwjeorna!
that is my new inayopendelewa song, just so wewe know. omg ;i wrote zaidi in
my big book of nothingness, but im at school, so i don’t have it with
me:( its cool it deals with begging for money, squirrel clothing,
headband helmets, and furry insides! i bet u can’t wait! ha-ha! yay for
the awesome book of nothingness! i put the first part of it on the
internet and ppl thought...
continue reading...
added by ladycountry