I found this makala on the internet.
1. Insist that wewe are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kitanda holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say wewe know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors kwa your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as wewe can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't wewe be going now?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."
5. Every time wewe see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.
6. Set your roommate's kitanda on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.
7. Put your glasses on before wewe go to bed. Take them off as soon as wewe wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but wewe can't say anything more, au you'll have to face the consequences.
9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that wewe are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
11. Every Thursday, pack up everything wewe own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an saa and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
12. Every time wewe wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where the hell am I?!?", then run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say wewe don't know what he/she is talking about.
13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for ten minutes.
17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When wewe finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."
21. If your roommate comes nyumbani after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that wewe don't know how they got there.
23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are wewe dying?"
25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."
27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When wewe recover, say wewe can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.
30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
32. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that wewe are hungry.
33. ngumi, punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the lack of good shows.
34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an saa every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The inayofuata day, start standing in front of the window again.
35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that wewe feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
37. Cover your kitanda with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring wewe chakula and water.
38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
39. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that wewe were hot. Open and close the broken window as wewe normally would.
40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that wewe hit the bull's eye.
41. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When wewe see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
42. Call your roommate "Clyde" kwa accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the inayofuata few weeks, until wewe are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry, Elmer. Repeat process with Elmer.
43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while wewe are sleeping.
45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that wewe are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After wewe hang up, say, "That was your mom. She alisema she'd call back."
47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, wewe can come out now."
48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells wewe to do anything,tell him/her wewe are the ruler.
49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Finally stand up & yell,"I Lost!"
50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
51. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a fine.
52. Scatter stuffed wanyama around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease uigizaji like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When wewe and your roommate are alone again, continue uigizaji like a monkey.
54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the kibaniko, mashine ya kubanika mkate made wewe do it.
55. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that wewe have won kwa forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.
56. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, etc.)
57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that wewe are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses wewe of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.
58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that wewe were trying to kill a mosquito.
60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that wewe traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the inayofuata day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a ukuta for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."
63. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, ripoti that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.
64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Then insist wewe need to onyesha him/her the proper way & brush their teeth.
65. Collect potato chips that wewe think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."
66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 753-4795! Holy cow!")
67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with wewe anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if wewe can box with his/her shadow.
68. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why wewe are asking just say, "Accidents happen." Make it obvious that wewe are trying to cover up your laughter.
69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her salama return.
70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon, tikiti maji can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon, tikiti maji out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what wewe think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
72. Tell other people in your building that your roommate is goind to be "going on a trip" shortly. Don't tell them where au when. If people ask your roommate where he/she is going, cut in and say "Oh...that has been canceled."
73. Paint a tunnel on the ukuta like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as wewe attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "I'll get that pesky road runner...."
74. Leave memos on your roommate's kitanda that say things like, "I know what wewe did," and "Don't think wewe can fool me." Sign them in blood.
75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
76. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.
77. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.
78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your kitanda and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for wewe to see.
80. Offer your roommate some of your most valuable possesions. If they ask about your generosity, say nothing but "I won't need it where I'm going." If they take anything wait a week and insist they give it back. If they want to know why say "I was left behind", and crawl into kitanda crying.
81. Watch "Psycho" every siku for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.
82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.
83. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making bila mpangilio corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that wewe just couldn't take it anymore.
84. Tell your roommate that wewe "just want to be friends", and that wewe can no longer take their advances. Wait an saa and ask them to jiunge wewe in the shower.
85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap, upangaji pamoja your head in bandages. When wewe see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
86. Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp on your desk. If your roommate warns wewe that the meals will go bad simply say, "I know what I'm doing." While your roommate is out empty the meal containers such that it looks like you've eaten them. When your roommate return pretend to be violently ill. Do this twice a week.
87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin imba famous operas as loud as wewe can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
88. Hang a mpira wa kikapu net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to mpira wa kikapu games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that wewe think the refrigerator is plotting against you.
89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much wewe upendo lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much wewe hate lemonade.
90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving wewe and your roommate.
91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about half an hour. Come out looking dazed and act terrified of your roommate, keeping a good distance.
92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to jiunge you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be a murder in the room.
94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate wewe think the lobster, kamba has a marked deck.
96. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that wewe think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.
97. While wewe are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can moto in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that wewe are just trying to get even.
98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
99. Hide small containers of maziwa in your roommate's half of the room. After they begin to smell complain to your roommate about the odor. If your roommate finds them and claim that they aren't theirs, acknowledge that wewe put them there, but tell them "They were on your half of the room. wewe should be zaidi responsible."
100. Put out a plate of kuki, vidakuzi at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the kuki, vidakuzi while your roommate is asleep. The inayofuata morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell wewe the Sandman did it, insist that wewe know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks.
101. If your roommate has a pet, offer to feed their pet for them. Start taking bottles of glue and white out from your dawati before your roommate can answer.
1. Insist that wewe are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kitanda holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say wewe know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors kwa your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as wewe can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't wewe be going now?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."
5. Every time wewe see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.
6. Set your roommate's kitanda on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.
7. Put your glasses on before wewe go to bed. Take them off as soon as wewe wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but wewe can't say anything more, au you'll have to face the consequences.
9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that wewe are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
11. Every Thursday, pack up everything wewe own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an saa and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
12. Every time wewe wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where the hell am I?!?", then run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say wewe don't know what he/she is talking about.
13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for ten minutes.
17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When wewe finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."
21. If your roommate comes nyumbani after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that wewe don't know how they got there.
23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are wewe dying?"
25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."
27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When wewe recover, say wewe can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.
30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
32. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that wewe are hungry.
33. ngumi, punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the lack of good shows.
34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an saa every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The inayofuata day, start standing in front of the window again.
35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that wewe feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
37. Cover your kitanda with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring wewe chakula and water.
38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
39. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that wewe were hot. Open and close the broken window as wewe normally would.
40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that wewe hit the bull's eye.
41. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When wewe see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
42. Call your roommate "Clyde" kwa accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the inayofuata few weeks, until wewe are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry, Elmer. Repeat process with Elmer.
43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while wewe are sleeping.
45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that wewe are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After wewe hang up, say, "That was your mom. She alisema she'd call back."
47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, wewe can come out now."
48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells wewe to do anything,tell him/her wewe are the ruler.
49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Finally stand up & yell,"I Lost!"
50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
51. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a fine.
52. Scatter stuffed wanyama around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease uigizaji like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When wewe and your roommate are alone again, continue uigizaji like a monkey.
54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the kibaniko, mashine ya kubanika mkate made wewe do it.
55. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that wewe have won kwa forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.
56. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, etc.)
57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that wewe are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses wewe of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.
58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that wewe were trying to kill a mosquito.
60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that wewe traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the inayofuata day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a ukuta for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."
63. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, ripoti that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.
64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Then insist wewe need to onyesha him/her the proper way & brush their teeth.
65. Collect potato chips that wewe think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."
66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 753-4795! Holy cow!")
67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with wewe anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if wewe can box with his/her shadow.
68. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why wewe are asking just say, "Accidents happen." Make it obvious that wewe are trying to cover up your laughter.
69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her salama return.
70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon, tikiti maji can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon, tikiti maji out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what wewe think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
72. Tell other people in your building that your roommate is goind to be "going on a trip" shortly. Don't tell them where au when. If people ask your roommate where he/she is going, cut in and say "Oh...that has been canceled."
73. Paint a tunnel on the ukuta like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as wewe attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "I'll get that pesky road runner...."
74. Leave memos on your roommate's kitanda that say things like, "I know what wewe did," and "Don't think wewe can fool me." Sign them in blood.
75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
76. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.
77. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.
78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your kitanda and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for wewe to see.
80. Offer your roommate some of your most valuable possesions. If they ask about your generosity, say nothing but "I won't need it where I'm going." If they take anything wait a week and insist they give it back. If they want to know why say "I was left behind", and crawl into kitanda crying.
81. Watch "Psycho" every siku for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.
82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.
83. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making bila mpangilio corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that wewe just couldn't take it anymore.
84. Tell your roommate that wewe "just want to be friends", and that wewe can no longer take their advances. Wait an saa and ask them to jiunge wewe in the shower.
85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap, upangaji pamoja your head in bandages. When wewe see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
86. Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp on your desk. If your roommate warns wewe that the meals will go bad simply say, "I know what I'm doing." While your roommate is out empty the meal containers such that it looks like you've eaten them. When your roommate return pretend to be violently ill. Do this twice a week.
87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin imba famous operas as loud as wewe can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
88. Hang a mpira wa kikapu net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to mpira wa kikapu games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that wewe think the refrigerator is plotting against you.
89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much wewe upendo lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much wewe hate lemonade.
90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving wewe and your roommate.
91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about half an hour. Come out looking dazed and act terrified of your roommate, keeping a good distance.
92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to jiunge you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be a murder in the room.
94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate wewe think the lobster, kamba has a marked deck.
96. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that wewe think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.
97. While wewe are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can moto in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that wewe are just trying to get even.
98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
99. Hide small containers of maziwa in your roommate's half of the room. After they begin to smell complain to your roommate about the odor. If your roommate finds them and claim that they aren't theirs, acknowledge that wewe put them there, but tell them "They were on your half of the room. wewe should be zaidi responsible."
100. Put out a plate of kuki, vidakuzi at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the kuki, vidakuzi while your roommate is asleep. The inayofuata morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell wewe the Sandman did it, insist that wewe know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks.
101. If your roommate has a pet, offer to feed their pet for them. Start taking bottles of glue and white out from your dawati before your roommate can answer.
There was a boy called Jake who always got teased at school he got because he was different one siku he he cme back to school it looked like a normal siku but while everyone walked around Jake acted himself like every normal siku but when the kengele rang for clas he got a 44 moto arm he shot lot's of the kids teacher too so wewe let that be a lesson for wewe if wewe had not teased him he would have been fine who knows wewe could have even saved his life.
Afew days past and Jake was dead he had decided to shoot himself in the head many people blammed it all jake when really it was there own fault at take.
Afew days past and Jake was dead he had decided to shoot himself in the head many people blammed it all jake when really it was there own fault at take.
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!
-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.
-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.
And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
machungwa, chungwa who?
machungwa, chungwa wewe glad I didn't say banana, ndizi again?
Hope wewe had fun!
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!
-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.
-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.
And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banana, ndizi who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
machungwa, chungwa who?
machungwa, chungwa wewe glad I didn't say banana, ndizi again?
Hope wewe had fun!
It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon kusoma the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and alisema "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet wewe he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do wewe know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
