1. 1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If wewe keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a orodha of "pros" and "cons" to help wewe better understand why you're seeking upendo au acceptance from this person.
2. 3
Don't worry about things wewe can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3. 4
Don't take it personally. Perceiving the situation as a personal attack, is not advised. There is no point kwa contemplating why. In fact, it may create a mysterious attraction to them therefore prolonging infatuation, not to mention causing wewe a world of pain.
4. 5
Plan wisely. Set aside a time for any duration. kwa reflecting, not brooding, wewe gain insight for your inayofuata possible crush.
5. 6
Admit wewe have a crush. Allow yourself to feel it. If wewe don't, wewe are at risk for "Romeo and Juliet Syndrome". The forbidden upendo possibility becomes zaidi attractive.
6. 7
Don't dwell. Instead, go out and make new friends, au hang out with the old, But never be mean about them! It will only get back to them and then wewe will have Lost a friend.
7. 8
songesha on. Remember that it's not the end of the world. Someone else may share your feelings, but this specific person just wasn't the right one. Just remember that its a crush-no matter how strong.
8. 9
Mesmerizing. When wewe start remembering good times wewe had with your crush, immediately find something else to focus your energy and time on. Don't allow yourself to wallow in self pity for too long.
9. 10
Be honest. Tell them how wewe feel. If wewe find out that he au she doesn't have any feelings for you, it will be easier for wewe to get over it.
10. 11
Avoid anger. They didn't do anything wrong and getting angry is just going to push them further away and destroy your friendship. Come to terms with the fact that it isn't their fault they aren't attracted to wewe that way. This is hard, but a few tears (or a few buckets of tears), a few chick-flicks and treats and a few peppy songs wewe can dance to will keep wewe on your feet.
11. 12
Keep in mind, if wewe are madly and hopelessly in love/lust, be patient. Don't be too clingy, but continue on as normal, being your wonderful self and onyesha him/her how awesome wewe are. He/She might just realize one siku that they have been blind this whole time and confess their love; after all, upendo is just friendship on fire.
12. 13
Understand that if all else fails, think about how devastated wewe would be if the two of wewe started dating/getting serious and then broke up. Think of that when wewe get that feeling. Keep in mind how important your friendship is.
13. 14
It's not healthy to keep hoping they will one siku feel the same. Try to emancipate yourself from them for a while so that wewe can rid yourself of your feelings for them, because if wewe don't, the time wewe spend around them will be tense and bittersweet.
14. 15
Avoid thinking about them. You'll only feel worse if wewe do. Meet new people, talk to your friends.
15. 16
Instead of fantasizing about how great things could be with your crush, pick someone else. Imagine how great things would be with them. You've probably been doing this with your crush for so long that imagining being in a relationship with someone new might be the breath of fresh air wewe need to get the ball rolling on getting over him/her.
Act
1. 1
Maintain some type of distance. While being close to someone may stir emotions, avoiding someone who is regularly seen definitely will. If the person is close, either request "space" au continue normal activities. If the person is not, keep a distance, but not a "duck-and-cover" type of avoidance.
2. 2
Spend time with the person. wewe will see their negative qualities, which will be beyond what wewe can kubeba if you're not meant to be.
3. 3
Look at them closely. Find the physical flaws. And then think... "He/She's not that hot! What am I thinking?!" And find someone that wewe can get, and still be Marafiki with your crush.
4. 4
Stop fantasizing about them! They aren't important. They don't define who wewe are, that's your job.
5. 5
Remember that this person is not the end of the world. Someone else may feel the way wewe do about YOU. Just remember that its a crush--no matter how strong.
6. 6
Focus on the trait of theirs that is your least favorite. That means, if he is so perverted and wewe don't like it, au if she is self-centered and wewe can't stand it, focus. It will allow wewe to see him/her as what he/she is, as well as get wewe over him/her.
7. 7
When wewe start remembering a good time wewe had with your crush, convince yourself it wasn't all that great kwa remembering a much better time wewe experienced with someone else.
8. 8
Ask yourself a reason why wewe want to get over it. Are wewe married/in another relationship? If so, it's easier to prioritize if wewe think it through.
9. 9
Try to minimize contact with your crush.
10. 10
Focus on your other interests.
11. 11
Go to the gym and work out. Get your mind off of it and feel better about yourself.
12. 12
Find comic relief. See the humorous side to things, read comic vitabu au deep thoughts before wewe go to bed.
13. 13
Make an exciting change to make yourself feel sexy. Treat your self to a hair-cut, au a new outfit. Make yourself feel confident.
14. 14
kuvuka, msalaba out au erase his/her name anywhere wewe might have written it (e.g your notebook, your textbook, the ukuta of your bedroom, etc.)
15. 15
Avoid all eye contact with them and try not to look longingly at his/her nose. You'll be zaidi likely to get over the crush if wewe aren't always staring at him/her.
16. 16
Act a bit zaidi unpleasant around them than your usual temperament. They may act unpleasant back and won't seem as attractive to you, but be warned, wewe may lose out on a relationship with another person if wewe are too mean.
17. 17
wewe know wewe will see this person again. They are your best friend and wewe don't want to lose them. Try to your time with them and start spending time with other people (namely ones of the sex wewe are attracted to). Start dating and don't feel obligated to your best friend, they're not dating you.
18. 18
Learn from the experience and come out stronger.
19. 19
Accept! Always remember that the toughest part will be to observe your best friend be normal around wewe while wewe could struggle to do so. There is no way around it but to accept that everything cannot possibly be reciprocated.
20. 20
Try falling out of love/lust. Make lists of all the things that go against being attracted to him/her - upendo is blind, try to voluntarily open your eyes.
21. 21
Don't let them see how upset wewe are. If they know, it'll only make them feel bad and they might start avoiding you. Act like nothing happened and maybe mention another person wewe think is hot. If they start liking wewe back, then that's great. Hope it all works out. If they don't, then just keep this up until wewe find someone else.
22. 22
Consider the possibility of letting them see wewe with someone else. Act nicely. Sometimes people don't realize what they could have had until the opportunity is gone. If they don't start liking wewe back at this point, it's really time to stop crushing on them and meet new people.
23. 23
Remember that if they liked wewe but changed their minds at the last minute, wewe shouldn't get angry au blame things on them. Your friendship should be strong enough to not let something like that keep a good thing down.
24. 24
Accept it. Whether your window of opportunity came and went, au they're just not into you, acknowledge the reality of the situation. Tell yourself the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
25. 25
songesha on. Make a promise to yourself to get over it. If you're kusoma this article, you're ready to take this step, so just do it.
26. 26
Reassure yourself. Look in the mirror every morning, smile, and tell yourself, "You're worth it." Really mean it. wewe didn't do anything wrong, and right now there's someone else out there for you. And it always helps to remind yourself that they are the ones that are going to be missing out on you.
27. 27
Maintain your decision. If wewe find yourself slipping, remember the promise wewe made to yourself.
28. 28
Associate. If and when wewe catch yourself thinking about your crush, pick out something about them that wewe dislike, and focus on it. Be honest. wewe may have built a ndoto of them in your head, but in reality they're not as great.
29. 29
Distract yourself. Go out with your Marafiki and have fun. Meet new people. Find a onyesha au a game to immerse yourself in. Keep yourself busy and happy.
30. 30
Take care of yourself. Keep well-groomed and put on your best clothes. It will do wonders for your self-esteem. Remember step three.
31. 31
Find someone else. It can be difficult to get over someone if you're sitting there alone on Friday nights. Instead, call up that girl/guy wewe have History class with who always smiles at you.
32. 32
Live life. You're a great person and he/she was a fool not to see that. Before wewe know it you'll be back on track.
33. 33
Get it out. A good cry always helps. just let your feelings pour out and before wewe know it. He/She will be just a thing of the past.
34. 34
If wewe can not get over it try to do the stuff wewe upendo like video games tv kusoma au whatever. Think about upcoming events that will make wewe happy. This may seem weird but it works 91 percent of the time
Tips
• Really focus on trying to find another boy/girl that you're interested in. It's hard to stop loving him/her when they're the only one wewe see. But don't neglect your best friend.
• If wewe are upset after finding out they don't like you, talk to someone wewe trust, like a friend au counselor, about how wewe feel. Tell them how you're hurt and ask for advice. Holding things in makes wewe depressed, and that can make everything much worse.
• Tell him/her as soon as possible that wewe have feelings for them. Waiting only makes it worse. It's not fair to wewe to have to keep it in, and wewe can't get over them until wewe know they don't feel the same way. It'll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. And who knows? They may even confess to liking wewe back!
• Still be Marafiki with them. It's not fun to lose a friend because of a problem in a relationship and it's even harder with a best friend. Once wewe do get over them, you'll be glad wewe guys are still friends.
• Since they are your best friend wewe probably see them everyday at school so try to just kind of be yourself and act normal. It is hard but if he/she is your best friend then wewe were probably a little zaidi comfortable around him/her to begin with so just act normal and don't try to impress him/her au make them like wewe back. It does not work!
• Try not to tell your Marafiki about it because they will only tell everyone else and it will get to him/her and make them feel very uncomfortable. It only makes it worse.
• Some songs might make wewe feel sad, but listening to others like, "Teardrops On My Guitar" kwa Taylor mwepesi, teleka might make wewe accept the concept that your crush might not like you.
• Do nott listen to upendo songs au slow songs. It can cause wewe to become desperate.
• Make sure you're over them when you're not around them AND when wewe are. Sometimes you'll find that wewe have gotten over them during a time apart, but the sekunde they come up to you, wewe fall for them again.
• Don't tell them wewe upendo them if wewe know for sure that they only want to be friends. This could damage the friendship.
• Don't overindulge on treats. wewe will feel even zaidi depressed in the morning.
• Whatever wewe do, do not cut contact with the person. Because they aren't in upendo with you, when wewe avoid them they will eventually just hang out with other people, causing a rift between wewe two. This can be hard to fix and can ruin any hopes of being close Marafiki again.
• Try to be thankful for the wonderful friendship wewe have, always wanting zaidi could destroy your friendship.
• Don't try to change yourself to become what wewe think is attractive to the other person - they will only see wewe as fake and insecure, a person who is not fun to be with, even as friends!
• Don't attempt to make them jealous - if they really only see wewe as a friend, kissing another guy/girl in front of them won't really affect them, and you'll just end up feeling regretful and disappointed with yourself later.
• If wewe do tell them, don't automatically assume how they're going to react. This sometimes makes wewe seem extremely foolish. If you're good enough friends, this might not affect your relationship as much as wewe think.
• Delete their phone number.
• Did wewe have a certain route in the hallway that wewe took to class where wewe ran into your crush? au maybe it was a hangout that wewe always saw him/her. Attempt to avoid these places because the zaidi wewe don't see your crush the easier it will be to get over them!
• You have to remember that your crush for a boy/girl will just come and go. And if wewe kept thinking about him/her, just say this to yourself "There is not only one but many fishes in the water."
• If your crush doesn't like wewe for who wewe are, well, all I can say is that he/she will "REGRET" someday.
• Listen to inspiring songs like, "Forget You" kwa Cee Lo Green.
Warnings
• Try not to get too depressed. It will be hard, but remember that life keeps going and it's better to go at the same speed.
• Don't stay alone for too long, you'll get bored and start thinking of the person.
• Don't keep thinking of the person. The zaidi wewe think about them, the zaidi likely wewe are to stay attached to them.
• Don't become bitter! Just because the person doesn't like wewe in that way doesn't mean wewe can be unfriendly towards them. Don't let your pride get wounded! Sometimes people just aren't right for one another! It says nothing about who wewe are.
• Don't let your self-esteem drop. wewe are still a wonderful person who deserves to be loved; this just wasn't the one who could upendo wewe in that way. wewe will find many though who can. So keep faith in yourself!
• Don't break down au onyesha aggression if the person tells wewe he/she is in a relationship with someone.
• Don't demand the person about ending a relationship with a significant other.
• Don't jump into another serious relationship too soon. tarehe for fun, tarehe someone wewe normally wouldn't have been interested in, have some fun as a single person. Seeing that there are plenty of people out there who want to be with wewe will help wewe songesha on and feel better about yourself.
• Don't do anything outright mean au embarrassing. The goal is to get over your crush, not make your neighbor's life a living nightmare, au to lose out on other potential relationships.
• Do not become rude au disrespectful around them. Treat them like a normal human being.
• If the two of wewe are Marafiki on MySpace au a similar site, consider taking them off your buddy orodha au at least removing your subscription to them. When wewe see a bulletin they've ilitumwa au a blog they wrote, just skip past it.
• Don't talk to them when you're under the influence of alcohol. wewe will say something wewe regret.
• Remember not to gossip au talk bad about them behind their back, because it will come back to haunt you.
