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13 Fun Things To Do To Get Salespeople on the Phone to Hang Up

1. If they want to loan wewe money, tell them wewe just filed for bankruptcy and wewe could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, au is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If wewe get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping au whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for wewe to get your credit card.

3. If they start out with, "How are wewe today?" say, "Why do wewe want to know?" au wewe can say, "I'm so glad wewe asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is uigizaji up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal maswali au maswali about the company for as long as necessary.

5. This one works better if wewe are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few sekunde pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are wewe wearing?"

6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have wewe BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know wewe from.

7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if wewe can keep going until they hang up.

8. If MCI calls trying to get wewe to sign up with their Family and Marafiki plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as wewe can muster, "I don't have any friends...would wewe be my friend?"

9. If they clean rugs: "Can wewe get blood out, wewe can? Well, how about goat blood au HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask wewe to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them wewe couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

11. Tell them wewe work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! hujambo I work for them too. Where are wewe calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

12. Tell the Telemarketer wewe are busy and if they will give wewe their phone number wewe will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their nyumbani number and tell them wewe will call them at nyumbani (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now wewe know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

13. My personal inayopendelewa way to Make a Telemarketer Go Away involves the help of my 3 mwaka old son. When they call & ask to speak with Mr. Stevens, I explain they want the "other Mr. Stevens". As I hand the phone to my son, I tell him to explain all the fun things he did that day, from the detailed slimy booger he picked & where he wiped it, to his inayopendelewa & most proud stories about "pooping in the toilet." He is so proud of the shapes he can make. Usually after a few dakika of running around on the cordless phone explaining How proud he was with the details of his day, he comes back & says" they Hung up". Imagine the rudeness of some people.....Go figure....
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