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posted by misscrazel
                    1
Alice Rossetti sat at the jikoni meza, jedwali eating her green-beans. 
"Mom," she said, "Why do I have blond hair and green eyes but wewe and Dad have brown hair and blue eyes?"
"Why don't wewe go play in your room?" Her mom said. 
Alice walked up to her room.
      💜💜💜
That night Alice could hear a tapping at her window. 
'Its just a moth' she told herself. But she knew it wasn't. She saw faces on the ceiling one looked like her only older. They were wispering, "Magica, Magica."

                     2
Alice woke with a start. Something   seemed to be pushing her outside. She hurried into the woods. It was dark and the moon cast shadows across the trees. She was scared but she kept on going. 
"What is happening  to me?" She alisema aloud. 
               💜💜💜
She began to hear strange noises coming from deeper. 
The noises turned into voices. Alice shivered and listened. 
"Magica œß ūł!" 
"Dœūßē hēłēc œrgē dœłēncē?"
"Ē œc ēłēc ænīœn." 
"Œłēncē." 
A young woman stepped out. She was the one on the ceiling. A man also stepped out. Alice recognized him from the ceiling too. 
"Do wewe speak Tœngrœth?" He asked. 
"I don't know. What's Tongroth?" She said. 
"Qæłīnx ßpæłk ēżēk œrgrænth ēłt īkē!" alisema the woman.
"Qædrēł cæłce." alisema the man. He turned to Alice. "What do people call you?" He asked. 
"Alice Rossetti." She said.
"Ælēce Rœßēttī." Muttered the woman. 
"Alright Alice your real name isn't Alice. It's Magica."
Magica nodded. 
"Now follow us."
Magica nodded. 
           💜💜💜
Soon they got to a small clearing it was full of tents. She followed the man and woman into a tent. 
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This is a video I have created for sale on DVD au Blu-ray.
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posted by brucewillisfan
The main problem that guys face when trying to kiss a girl is knowing if they are ready to kiss them. Get the timing wrong, and things will turn really awkward. Get it right, and well... wewe will know. Here's how wewe can increase your odds. But, if wewe know they are ready then things will go well
1)Make her comfortable kwa making a joke, and don't laugh too loudly at your own jokes au wewe will look like a tool and might turn her off, girls don't always respond sexually to confidence, but an outgoing girl will - humor is an attractive quality. For instance, it's probably a good time to kiss that...
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posted by Cyrusrocks
My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.


Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!

Dear wife:

I'm uandishi wewe this letter to tell wewe that I'm leaving wewe forever. I've been a good man to wewe for 7 years & I have nothing to onyesha for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that wewe quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, wewe came nyumbani & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your inayopendelewa meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. wewe ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. wewe don't...
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posted by CatAlicerox14
1. find cereal boxes with prizes in them and open the box and stuff the toys in your pockets and hand bag au what ever wewe can stuff.if caught simply say "these have been recalled as kids are prone to sneezing"
2. Follow the stock person in the vegtables and matunda aisles and ask every dakika "watcha doing?"
3. Ask the stock person as he put one item in "is that ripe? au rotten?"
4.if they have a toy aisle open toys (no matter what age wewe are) and play with them (if squirt gun go to bathroom and fill it up with water and squirt people)
5.go inside the bathroom and sing everytime someone comes in....
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Source: theepichumor, Tumblr
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