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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my orodha of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let wewe know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything au eating anything wewe might spit it au something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the ufagio late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's inayopendelewa vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the uyoga have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do wewe call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do wewe call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do wewe make an octopus giggle ten times?
wewe give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do wewe make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's inayopendelewa composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between wewe and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't wewe hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher alisema it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the nyanya blush?
It saw the saladi dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do wewe know if it's raining Cats and dogs?
wewe step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do wewe know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do wewe get Pikachu on a bus?
wewe Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't wewe dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do wewe call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
wewe boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton kuvuka, msalaba the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do wewe call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's pink and fluffy?
pink fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
pink fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when wewe drink 7 coca colas?
wewe burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the samaki say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't wewe trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope wewe liked them. Make sure wewe check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are zaidi likely to become serial killers.

Everything wewe see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are zaidi likely to dream when wewe are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If wewe tear off paper from bottles, wewe are sexually...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and wewe want to confuse them. No laughing au anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Marafiki do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do wewe want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is wewe who is calling me. Ok, so what did wewe need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. wewe called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! wewe are the one who called me! Now i ask one zaidi time who are wewe and why did wewe call my at this...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope wewe like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when wewe heard someone talking on the intercom, wewe fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give wewe a ride nyumbani and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a uyoga and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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As many of wewe know I made a orodha of 20 inayopendelewa animated heroes, which fanpop actually advertised on the fanpop page in the pop culture section. I'm so happy about it and feel as if I was famous au something. Anyway just like with my inayopendelewa animated heroines orodha I'm going to be making a orodha of the worst animated heroes. I just upendo to do these hate makala just as much as my inayopendelewa ones, sometimes a little bit more. Doing hates are just zaidi fun because wewe get to make zaidi jokes and make fun of that character. Please leave a maoni and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion,...
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Hello,fellow Fanpoppers!This is the first chemsha bongo I ever made so if it's bad please don't leave a mean comment.Opinions are one thing,but being mean is another.
Anyways,here is the quiz:

Remember:The object of the game is to NOT say purple!Starting...now!

1.What is 1 times 2?
2.What is 2 times 2?
3.What is 4 times 4?
4.What is 16 times 16?

Told wewe I could make wewe say 256.





OK,if wewe alisema to yourself,"No.You alisema wewe can make me say PURPLE." GOTCHA!!!!!!!
And if wewe didn't,well,you're smarter than I thought.THANKS FOR LETTING ME WASTE YOUR TIME!!!!!
posted by fanfly
A while back I wrote an makala about link. I've decided to follow it up with a tutorial on how to make icons! They're actually much the same- the major difference is size.

You will need an image editing program. I use Corel Paint duka Pro but I think most people use Photoshop.

There's also the following online programs but I've never used them and this tutorial isn't necessarily meant to be used with them because I have no idea what these programs are capable of doing.

link
link
link




the Size of Your ikoni Matters


Now this part is extremely important and I can't tell wewe how many ikoni I've seen that...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a bila mpangilio song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are zaidi people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even alisema shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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When having a nightmare and wewe suddenly realized you're dreaming, try not to wake up. Try to explore your dreams...this is cool because you're getting to know that all of those things around wewe are made kwa your brain which wewe sometimes think is completely empty... Also if wewe know you're dreaming, wewe can control your dream and wewe will find it very cool because when you're conscious in your dream, everything is in 3D form. So here are some cool and fun things to do when wewe suddenly realized you're dreaming...

1. Try to think of your inayopendelewa celebrity. Call out his/her name..like this,"When...
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posted by iluvsmj
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of wewe bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of wewe bastards who are getting on, get your punda in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want wewe to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When wewe come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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posted by reb1009
Insanely stupid class fun - Funny school pranks wewe should (not) try in class for a laugh :)

Bring some vitabu to class and read them instead of paying attention au doing any work.

2Walk around class begging for spare change.

Chew on your arm until someone notices.

Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back. After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

Sing your maswali to the class.

When the teacher...
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posted by 7things
How can wewe get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do wewe call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do wewe call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

How do wewe make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.

How do wewe make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

How do wewe prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

If a long dress is evening...
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