My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.
Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!
I'm uandishi wewe this letter to tell wewe that I'm leaving wewe forever. I've been a good man to wewe for 7 years & I have nothing to onyesha for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that wewe quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, wewe came nyumbani & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your inayopendelewa meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. wewe ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. wewe don't tell me wewe upendo me anymore; wewe don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either wewe are cheating on me au wewe don't upendo me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made my siku zaidi than receiving your letter.
It's true wewe & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when wewe got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if wewe can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when wewe cooked my inayopendelewa meal, wewe must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from wewe because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved wewe & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got nyumbani wewe were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope wewe have the fulfilling life wewe always wanted. My lawyer alisema that the letter wewe wrote ensures wewe won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told wewe this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.