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posted by slenderman777
In my room there is a small door leading to where the air conditioning unit is housed, this door has no locking mechanisms what so ever so it wasn't uncommon when it opened up kwa itself when there was a draft, its impossible to close the door behind wewe once wewe get beyond it and enter the crawlspace type area it leads to. i have lived in this house for five years now and for the first 4 i never gave the door a sekunde thought,it wasn't until the fifth mwaka that the door made me feel unsettled, a few months zamani i was nyumbani alone,i'm 17 and i live in the bonus room which is connected to the crawlspace. i had been upstairs playing on my Playstation when the house phone rang,normally i would answer the one i had upstairs but i had unplugged the charger and it died, i ran downstairs in order to answer the phone, my two mbwa that were up there with me were still at my heels,i picked up the phone, 1-800 service of course. i let the mbwa out back i remember vaguely what happened,i opened the door 3 beeps from the alarm system notified me then i closed it, before going back upstairs i went to the bathroom,while i was using the bathroom i heard 3 beeps notifying me that a door has been opened, i didn't give it a sekunde thought because i assumed my parents had just got home,accept i didn't hear their footsteps,and there were no voices. i got out of the bathroom and checked all three doors, the front door was locked the karakana door was locked and the back door was unlocked but my mbwa who were 2 husky's would not have let a stranger in without attacking them, i let them both in and locked the door,maybe i just imagined it, i did have a Pretty vivid imagination,i do get a little paranoid when i am nyumbani alone it wasn't out of the swali hell maybe i didn't close the back door all the way who knows,what i do know is that all the doors were locked au guarded kwa mbwa when my parents left,it wasn't long after that when i would wake up in the morning the door would be wide open,sure it would do that once au twice over the course of living here but i was still creeped out.but recently its been opened in the morning at least once a week,so i told my parents and they got a latch for it to keep it closed,this was such a relief. for about three weeks the door was never opened then one siku i came nyumbani from school and the latch was laying on the ground inayofuata to the open door that's when i started sleeping with a kisu on my bedside table, i put the latch back on but every time i put it on and leave it for a few hours and when i came back it would fall off,i was scared and i didn't hide it from my parents, i told them time and time again that the door was still opening but they will tell me its a cheap latch and to get over it,i was almost 18 and had to give up the fear of the dark soon,accept it wasn't the darkness i was scared of.i was scared of whoever was living in that crawlspace.one siku i went down for lunch when my parents just both stared at me,i asked what was wrong and if i had something in my teeth and they just kept looking at me,as if i did something to be ashamed of. "we heard wewe last night" my father said, "heard me doing what? Snoring? i'm sorry its just that i have had trouble slee. "No not snoring we heard wewe in the jikoni last night it didn't help that wewe were slamming the fridge door waking everybody up if your hungry during the nights just eat zaidi chajio, chakula cha jioni wewe know we have plenty of chakula so wewe don't have to starve yourself" he finished, "dad i didn't get up last night i didn't i think i would remember if i had" "oh really? wewe didn't?" he alisema like i was trying to fool him but i wasn't, "yeah dad it wasn't me" "don't lie to me" "i'm not i swear" "maybe wewe were sleepwalking? it sounded just the way wewe walk when wewe go to the bathroom at night and i could of swore i heard your door open" "dad i hadn't sleepwalked in years wewe know that" that's when the realty of this hit me "well wewe like cherry koki so unless it was that damn ghost in the crawlspace,i don't know who else it could of been" and checking his phone "shit i am going to be late, i upendo wewe son stop starving yourself" and with that he left closing the door behind him, 3 beeps i didn't sleep much after that, most nights i would have the tv on and just look at the door latch locked and all i still had school so i would stay up till 4 knowing that if i had to stay up the inayofuata night i would kill myself. but even then i would sleep for 2 hours and when i woke up the door would be open latch laying on the ground beside it,then the door would be opened every morning,i decided that i had to do something about it once and for all,the night came and it was 4 am i turned of my tv and i was laying on my bed,waiting. about 30 sekunde later,the first push came,slow and strong then another and another, on the forth push the latch felled to the ground and the door opened,i waited looking at the door,a head poked out whoever was in there may have been human but i don't think so,i lights were of so i can't be sure,the door was all the way opened,it made its way out head first using his arms to drag him through the opening, when he was out i can see a thin hairless man. i can hear my moyo beating and it could hear it too, it turned its head and it was looking at me walking closer to the bed,it made its way to where i was,i dared not to open my eyes i could hear it sniffing in the air, it was beside me, i heard him open his mouth and closed it. soon he crawled on all fours back to the crawlspace making itself nyumbani in the crawlspace and it closed the door.i didn't sleep for the rest of the night and when it was salama to come out i didn't leave my bed, "ALEX get out of kitanda your going to be late for school" my dad yelled i then heard him leave, 3 beeps after that i heard a noise at the door and then..... it opened.
posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find zaidi crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? wewe are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No wewe are a robot times 1000000.


User: No wewe are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and wewe are a robot.


User: User: wewe robot.User: wewe robot.User: wewe robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. wewe are the robot here.

User: User: wewe robot.User: wewe robot.User: wewe robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... wewe computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So wewe admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




Lol yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do wewe hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be nyumbani for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and moto hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: wewe better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell wewe why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired kwa their family and Marafiki and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented kwa the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The sekunde is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The tamasha Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 saa Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There imba I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're kiti, kiti cha Ooh K Then drake Sad wewe Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There drake Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The mashabiki mashabiki Was imba Along Giving Him Flowers Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For kusoma And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's siku together. Emily had cooked a stupid chajio, chakula cha jioni and they ate on a log kwa candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that wewe have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask maswali to a magic 8 ball and take the majibu seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when wewe find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when wewe see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a bila mpangilio person!
raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp apple strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are wewe on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. kwa the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty mitaani, mtaa the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Ya' know how everybody thinks fairytales and magic aren't real? Well, I beleive in them!
I'm not talking about santa clause, tooth fairy and easter bunny kinda stuff... I mean like ghosts, unicorns and things of that sort.

Everybody in my family has seen SOMETHING. and don't call me crazy. =(

Why is it so inconceivable that these things can't exist? Why is it so hard to believe that a big hairy man walks around in the woods? It could be like a woodland ape!

What's wrong with thinking unicorns are real???! Who alisema they have to have magical powers? It's pretty much just a beautiful horse...
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Okay so my twin sister Sassikassi is annoying and this is what she does to me and other people!
*She throws chakula at me
*She plays baseball with my sandwiches
*She asks stupid maswali (ex: What do maktaba cards do? btw she does not have any medical condition for that I think she trys to embarass me)
*She trys to embarass me
*She tells my secrets to everyone
*She beats me up
*Shes a crybaby I cant remember a siku when she hasnt burst into tears
*She gets me into trouble
*She yells at me for no reason
*Basicly she is not who wewe think she is
posted by MOLLYMAYJR
ok so i went to a football game last friday and watched the cheerleaders then walked off! but what i did see was that well they all looked really pretty but never judge a book kwa its cover so i am just gonna say it! they all looked stuckup! but arent they all?? my cousin whose a 10th grader and says the cheerleaders at her school r stuck up snotss!!! and so r the ones at mine! so if u feel my pain about cheerleaders au u r 1 and there r stuck up snobs on ur squad then id upendo to hear ur thoughts!!
Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. wewe don't say "I do not like" wewe have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
When I went to see Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me, the previews were the same. And all the sinema that the previews were advertising looked terrible. Well, Tangled looks OK, and Megamind seems worth it, but Smurf and Kitty Galore look like an insult to my intelligence. Maybe I'm just taking these too seriously, but still. Previews are supposed to make their sinema look GOOD.

The trailer that really got to me was Alpha and Omega. If wewe haven't seen it, look it up on Youtube. I know wewe shouldn't judge a movie kwa it's, uh, trailer, but this seems like it's going to be freakin' horrible.
Wayyy...
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posted by jessicamc26
Two guys were picked up kwa the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give wewe a sekunde chance rather than jail time. I want wewe to go out this weekend and try to onyesha others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see wewe back in court Monday."


Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge alisema to the first one,

"How did wewe do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did wewe tell them?"

"I...
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posted by MileySelena982
Never mind the haters. All they do is break wewe down. Build yourself up and ignore them. Don't they look so small from up here?

When they make a nasty comment, pretend they aren't there. They'll never get to wewe that way. When they kick and scream at other peoples hating maoni about them, don't they look silly?

When they ask why wewe like what wewe do, ask them why they like what they like. "How's it feel, huh?"

Hater will say many things, some the probably don't mean. But, if someone does hate, ask them, "Why? Why do wewe do it? Do wewe have nothing else to do with your life?" Just ignore them, they hate that. All the want is attention. And whatever wewe do, don't give it to them.

-JC
Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u cry. [wait 4 about 16 seconds, then do verse 1] The empty pie tins, were 1st known as frisbees, spinning, spinning, they look so dizzy. The tins looks shiny, it reflects the sun, yes bakerys r our number 1! [chorus] Pie ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, throw little pecks straight down into peoples eyes. Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, keep throwing them at the cogs until they die. [wait about 16 zaidi seconds, then start the 2nd verse] Now they have bakeries, so many snacks 2 taste. No, we shouldnt let them go 2 waste. From brownies to cakes, and kuki, vidakuzi and pie, colorful, fruitful, yummy snacks oh my! [repeat chorus twice] Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u die. [wait 4 about 30 seconds, then repeat verse 1, after that u repeat the chorus 2 mor times, then wait 4 about 16 mor seconds] Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, eat all the treats, till ur so full u could cry. The end, hope u liked it(and san it rite).
posted by Jamie38459
Piyaiyai, Piyaiyai, Piyaiyai eat them till u cry[reapeat][1st verse] The empty pie tins, were 1st known as frisbees, spinning,spinning it makes me dizzy. They look shiny, reflects toward the sun, yes bakeries, R our number 1. [chorus] Pie ay ay, I'm a birdie who likes pies, throw little pecks, straight down in2 peoples eyes. Pie ay ay, I'm a birdie who likes pies, keep throwin them, at the cogs until they die. [verse 2] Now they have a bakery, they got all of the treats, all of the snacks, look good enough 2 eat. From cakes to brownies, kuki, vidakuzi and pie, colorful, fruitful, tasty deserts oh my! [repeat chorus] piyaiyaiyai, piyaiyaiyai, piyaiyai eat them til cry[repeat]. [wait 4 about 30 secs, then repeat verse 1, and then repeat the chorus twice, and then wait 4 about 8 seconds] Pie ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, eat them all up till ur so full u could cry. THE END, hope u liked it(and sang it rite).
Mr.Mosby: I'm so glad zach is gone for my whole life!
Zach: Hi Mr.Mosby!
Mr.Mosby: *screams* what are wewe fdoing here!
Cody: he's getting held back!
Mr.Moasby: and you?
Cody: I'm just droping him off.
Mr.Mosby: Oh great!
Brianna: Rich girls coming through!
Mr.Mosby: Oh wewe must be the hetrick sisters!
Rochelle: yeah! now go find our maid!
Mr.Mosby: wewe don't have a maid.
Brianna: Then go get us one!
Mr.Mosby: wewe can't have a maid!
Rochelle: why not?
Zach: *wripers in Mr.Mosby's ear* Say that there too prety to have one.
Mr.Mosby: Your too prety to have one.
Brianna: oH well, that's great! Let's go Rochelle!...
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posted by shutyourface
The blode curdurling sound of a monkey killing a innersent banana, ndizi even the thought makes me scream.
i am the leader of a very special groupe H.B.S
that stands for help bananas society
every minite a banana, ndizi is being tortured but
there is someone helping that someone is me
bobby flobby hobbie jo thats my name but wewe can call me bobby jo


i shall return with a zaidi stories of the help bananas society


dum de de de dum dum dum de dum


BANANAS!
(thats the tune of are klabu song)

banana, ndizi banana, ndizi kondoo are there Marafiki
BANANAS