zaidi Car Stereotypes
We have zaidi stereotypes for zaidi cars, coming your way.
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British nyumbani dear chap. Come this way and I'll onyesha wewe what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a dhahabu frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: wewe scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes wewe did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: wewe need to be zaidi careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if wewe have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel wewe bitch.
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, au snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what wewe need for off road adventures.
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's kiti, kiti cha as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some BMW drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what wewe will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a BMW X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are wewe doing?
Woman: wewe nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed kwa a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If wewe want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved kwa driving like a jackass.