1. When wewe get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”
2. When he asks why wewe were speeding, tell him wewe wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend wewe are deaf.
4. If he asks if wewe knew how fast wewe were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……
5. Ask if wewe can see his gun.
6. When he says wewe aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why wewe were speeding, tell him wewe had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him kwa his first name.
11. Pretend wewe are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks wewe to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks wewe to spread them, tell him wewe don’t go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me chajio, chakula cha jioni first”
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause wewe don’t like ink on your fingers.
19. After wewe sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read wewe your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes wewe away.
25. Before wewe sign the ticket, pick your nose. wewe have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like wewe are retarded.
32. When he’s telling wewe what wewe did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells wewe to stop, say what are wewe talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin donuts and say hmmm….only 5 of wewe here tonight…….
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five inayopendelewa Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say wewe missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if wewe can buy his car.
48. If he takes wewe to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If wewe know him, say wewe had his wife for dinner.
51. If wewe don’t know him, ask if wewe can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When wewe are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what wewe gonna do with that.
59. If wewe are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks wewe in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”
62. Tell him wewe like men in uniform.
63. Ask if wewe can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party