1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
Ashley:Okay,lets see there's,a four mwaka old Amber,
A 12 mwaka old Kennedy,A 5 mwaka old Harper,And then there's 9 mwaka old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her dolls back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do wewe want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in kibaniko, mashine ya kubanika mkate for half a minute.
*Ten dakika later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do wewe know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked wewe as the Babysitter cause wewe have 7 siblings and wewe all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
A 12 mwaka old Kennedy,A 5 mwaka old Harper,And then there's 9 mwaka old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her dolls back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do wewe want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in kibaniko, mashine ya kubanika mkate for half a minute.
*Ten dakika later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do wewe know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked wewe as the Babysitter cause wewe have 7 siblings and wewe all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
1. wewe grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. wewe take picha of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when wewe sneeze.
5. wewe don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and wewe don’t even work there.
7. wewe spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Cats are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. wewe can’t even remember your sekunde cup.
10. wewe can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. wewe take picha of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when wewe sneeze.
5. wewe don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and wewe don’t even work there.
7. wewe spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Cats are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. wewe can’t even remember your sekunde cup.
10. wewe can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
Yes indeed, Rebecca has become famous thanks to her annoying song Friday and has got a record deal for a Cd with five zaidi songs, can wewe believe it? :/
Rebecca, is known-for and hated for “Friday”, she has even alisema that she doesn't like the song....we're not sure we believe that.
So on her inayofuata CD Rebecca promises to have a zaidi natural sound than in Friday, and that she, at least, will like her songs....it's amazing how much power the Internet has! It makes and breaks stars.
source: europapress
I was walking nyumbani from walmart when a carrot fell from the sky and started talking to me then an air raid siren went off and flying pigs were dropping sausage rolls that blew up into smiley faces when they hit the ground then a nyangumi drove kwa in his sedan and alisema happy Halloween to me then micheal Jackson did the moonwalk on the moon with a cow.
I was like wow I went nyumbani and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a samaki tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
I was like wow I went nyumbani and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a samaki tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
Hi everyone this is the Invader Calliope show!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and L then Mellow then Near!
I do upendo Misa though!
I upendo mchele balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I upendo my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I upendo the colors: chokaa Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I upendo the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and L then Mellow then Near!
I do upendo Misa though!
I upendo mchele balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I upendo my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I upendo the colors: chokaa Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I upendo the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Miss Carey: Here are your costumes for the play children. Come and see!
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own swan costume. Look at my machungwa, chungwa beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here wewe are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look zaidi ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own swan costume. Look at my machungwa, chungwa beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here wewe are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look zaidi ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
The key is in how the relationship has ended. It's important that there is no anger and no one has cheated. If this is true for wewe then it is zaidi than possible that with a little time wewe two can go back to being friends.
Marafiki and just friends. wewe must be clear about what wewe want. Sometimes when we pretend to want to be Marafiki with our ex, we are really looking to get back together. Sometimes this is what wewe want and it works, but if it goes wrong then things will be even worse.
Give him space. If after some time apart wewe still want to continue to spend time together without wanting to be a couple, then wewe are ready to be Marafiki again!
-source: justjared T.V show<>