bila mpangilio Club
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by sapherequeen
 KoRn Poster - I know. Epic :)
KoRn Poster - I know. Epic :)
Okay, so lately I've been bored and I'm a little upset because someone took me off their fanlist (I know, I have no reason to be upset considering how many mashabiki I have, but I'm just too sensitive to not mind). So, to distract myself, I'm going to see if I can come up with over 20 rock bands/singers that I love, and name the juu 5 songs I upendo from each band :)

I'm not going to lie, this will probably be endlessly boring...but I didn't no where else to write this, and this is the bila mpangilio club....

Well, I'm gonna start.


1. KoRn
(Songs: Hushabye, Twisted Transistor, Politics, No Way, Haze)
2. Evanescence...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
how wewe chose to express yourself
is all your own and i can tell
it comes naturally
it comes naturally

you follow what wewe feel inside
listen to it,you have to try
it comes naturally
mmmmm it comes naturally

and it takes my breath away
what wewe do so naturally

CHORUS
you are the thunder and
i am the lightening
and i upendo the way wewe know
who wewe are and to me it's exciting
when wewe know it's meant to be
everything comes naturally
it comes naturally when your with me baby
everything comes naturally
it comes naturally
ba ba baby

you have a way of moving me
a force of nature your energy
it comes...
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Note: The mwandishi of this poem decided to stay anonymous for various reasons. I needed to post his poem, though. He gave me permission. I think that it's great.
Thank you.



Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my inayopendelewa scenes

I sat on my kitanda on a cold night. He's in the same house as I.

Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen

I remembered when we used to play as little kids

And the whole time while always giving
Counting your face among the living


We're older now. I need to get over the fact that wewe hate me now...

Up and down escalators, pennies and colder fountains
Elevators...
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Here's the rest of em'

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of machungwa, chungwa traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your chajio, chakula cha jioni with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in bila mpangilio spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone wewe meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do...
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Angelas POV

-Jenna, Jenna, wake up!!-I said
-Huh..I'm awake, mum. I'm awake. School time?!-She answered
-No, silly, it's Angela.
-Angela? What da.?
-Listen, and listen carefully. I'm a werewolf. I'll onyesha you.
-Hahaha.-She started laughing!
-Shut up, and listen, Jenna! PLEASE! And I have a talent..My dreams are actually reality. Whatever I do in my dreams actually happens. If I dream in Paris, I will really be in Paris! I can take pictures and do everything like when I'm awake.
-Angela, why are wewe kidding with me?
-I'm not-I yelled -Please believe me, please!
-Show me!
-Okay. Jump on my back!

After...
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So Angela left. Jacob was alone at the beach, thinking about her. They're both in love.

Angela's POV
-Angela! Fast!- Aunt yelled at me
-I'm awake, aunt Lizzy!- I yelled
-Okay! Get ready! School starts in half an hour!
-Damn! It took me so long!?
-So long for what- She asked not knowing about my talent.
-Oh, nothing, aunt.

Wow.. This night was the best! I wanna see him again. Just wait till I tell everything to Jenna and Clarissa- I thought excited. Oh, yea, they wouldn't believe me. That's the bad side of my talent. It's supernatural. Haha, weird. I'm a Supernatural girl.. My talent and I'm a werewolf....
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Thanksgiving is my inayopendelewa holiday, well, one of them, wanna know wy? cause for desert, wewe get pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D!
"hello there pie, are wewe ready to be eaten?"
"yes i am" alisema the pie. it was pumpkin, boga pie, my fav.
"your the best thing thats ever been invented! i upendo you!
"well, instead of thanking the guy who made pies, go thank the guy who made pumpkins!
"oh yeah, huh?
"what are wewe doing?" my sister came intothe kitchen.
"talking to my friend."
"the pie?"
"yeah"
"well, its ready to be eaten"
"OH BOY!! PIE!!!! YEAH!!" Then i started running aroung the house like and idiot lol.
i was SOOOO BORED, so thtas why i made this. blablablabla
Way 1: when they copy your songs u just played, play something that they cant play, like wipeout

Way 2: when someone from the other band is going to sit down, tell the trombone to play a deep note then tell the a trumpet player to play a high note as the other person sits down then scream, "Somebody farted!!!"

Way 3: When one of them is nearby, throw something sticky au disgusting, like melted chokoleti au a beetle that u just happened to catch in your hand au went inside your uniform

Way 4: Do something stupid thatll make them forget that they hav to play The nyota Spangled Banner.

Way 5: Say...
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posted by sapherequeen
 Sorry, I know this picture may annoy some of wewe and look senseless to others. But it makes me feel better when I see one of my inayopendelewa fictional characters :,(
Sorry, I know this picture may annoy some of you and look senseless to others. But it makes me feel better when I see one of my favorite fictional characters :,(
*Sigh* Ok, I am having a very big problem with my profaili page; it has expired.

You see, when I was on fanpop like three weeks zamani this organization called GreenAV falsified (lied) to me that I had over 41 viruses on my laptop. My stepfather bought GreenAV because we thought it would protect our computer. Boy, were we dead wrong. GreenAV happens to be this company made in Israel to steal identities of other people around the world and their money. GreenAV also infects your computer with viruses. Unfortunately, I discovered this too late. Now my laptop is at a repair shop, and my mom told me...
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posted by lilred96
Mysterious love

-chapter five-

As we were walking down the stairs too the lunch room he said"So how was kusoma and math?"
"Boring"I alisema he kinda smiled and alisema "Well..." but trailed off
I was going too ask why when rebecca came up and looked at us she sort of examined us ,I guess is a better word.She said"June do wewe no if the librarian has a nother copy of that geometertry book I need it for something?"I just alisema "Umm I dont think she has one" When mathew alisema "I bet i have a copy at home,you can borrow"
I looked at him wondering why he was kusoma it in the maktaba when i came in too look...
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Mysterious love
-chapter three-


Went he sat down I got a little scared.My stomach felt weried like it was trying too jump out.He was there I wanted too say hi but I just could'nt get it out.so I was just sitting there a nervous wreck chewing on the juu of my eraser I kept wanting too look at him becuse I could feel him looking at me.finaly I snuke a peek he was staring at me but when he seen me looking he quickly looked down at his notebook.Then I looked down at my blank paper when the teacher alisema "Ok class dont forget too read chapter 8 in your book" I took my text book out of my new desk...
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posted by patrisha727
celery has negative calories. It takes zaidi calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to kumeza the dice if there was a police raid.

The human tongue tastes uchungu, chungu things with the taste buds toward the back. Salty and pungent flavors are tasted in the middle of the tongue, sweet flavors at the tip.

A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.

It is impossible to sneeze and keep one's eyes open at the same time.

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery...
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posted by Dan_07
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I don't know what anything means...
posted by BellaCullen96
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can wewe fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit inayofuata to wewe because wewe invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other siku we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, wewe know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once zaidi at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure kwa now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
posted by Yama
Emily had the kofia down today and it was quite warm. The car rushed as if it was too eager to get to the harbour. au maybe it was just me not wanting to leave home, whichever it was I didn't like it. Emily was blabbering on about what her fiance had got her for going away, she was so excited. As far as I could make out through my thoughts is that it was a big broach with a extremly rare stone in it.
I just smiled occasionly at her and tried (failing miserably) to look excited. Emily turned around after five dakika of silence,"Hon whats wrong I noticed this as soon as wewe got into the car but...
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posted by vamp_grl_123
Ok so here is a bunch of bila mpangilio Moments i will be writting. All are true.

I was at my locker getting ready for after lunch and my firends stopped to talk. It was Joe, Ben, Jack, Lilly, and Shelly.

Joe: Sukki, we're Lilly's man firends (not all were guys but Lily, Shelly, and me.)

Me: LOL ... *thinks* HEY!

Lilly: *laughing* OMG wewe needed to think?

Jack: Wow Sukki. we didn't mean you. but that was funny.

Shelly: *laughing*

Hope wewe liked this ramdom moment!!!

p.s. real names not used!!!!
1 = 90% of girls dont watch family guy, robot chicken etc so don't talk about it much.

2 = tomboys will onyesha zaidi affection than girlie girls.

3. Some girls get frustrated when wewe interrupt their video game. This rarely happens to a gu texting a girl

4. Girls don't like it when wewe interrupt their convo with their friends. To them it's R.U.D.E

5. Don't tease a girl if she likes Twilight Harry Potter etc........it hurts their feelings.

6. Please, don't hit on every girl in the school if wewe still have a girlfriend do wewe know how much that annoys us???

7. Don't text a girl in the middle of the night. We like to get our sleep. Otherwise, she'll just keep wewe up for a hour.

8. Girls like the guy that likes her to be jealous. Shell usually plan it out overnight.

9. Girls just adore attention like fat kids adore chokoleti cake.

10. A girl I'll call a guy cute not hot. Shell only call him ht around her girlfriends.
added by australia-101
there's a girl. about 15. she hides her scars, with her mother's makeup. She wakes up. and she realizes, that today will never get better.

You are zaidi than this. wewe are bliss. wewe are zaidi than this. there's happiness at the end of a rainbow.
open your eyes. keep holding on. don't give up, beautiful girl. your still needed on this world.

there's this girl. she hides her food. behind her bed.
when she looks, in the mirror, she sees nothing but ugliness. her mom asks her, if she's okay. she puts on a fake smile and tries to hide the pain.


You are zaidi than this. wewe are bliss. wewe are zaidi than...
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