1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
zaidi famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
zaidi famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz
Ask everyone wewe meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the kitanda last night watching some rubbish televisheni onyesha and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my upinde wa mvua colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I upendo wewe soooooo much' and so I was like 'I upendo wewe more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting wewe a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting wewe one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten dakika later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do wewe think are greater,the advantages au disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*