1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, wewe answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, wewe answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, wewe answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, wewe say “is that so?”
5. If wewe so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher wewe did not turn in your homework because wewe were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head.
10. Beg your teacher for extensions on reports.
11. Whisper to your neighbor during a test, but claim it was the sugar ants on the floor.
12. Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one au two points higher than it actually is.
13. While your teacher is grading papers in class, sharpen your pencil. Very loudly.
14. When the teacher says to stop, covertly break the lead and say “but it’s not sharpened”.
15. Roll your pencil across the desk.
16. Do drum rolls with your pencil. Use the head of the person in front of wewe as the cymbals.
17. Never bring a pen au pencil so wewe always have to borrow one from the teacher.
18. Return the pencil to the teacher, with the eraser end all chewed and slobbery.
19. Use crayon for important assignments. Purple crayon.
20. Lean your chair back so that it is balancing on only two legs. Extra points if wewe fall over backward.
21. Covertly chew gum in class. Extra points if wewe snap and crack it with out being caught.
22. When possible, eat chakula in class. Loud, crunchy food.
23. Go into the graphics options on the school computers, click graphics properties and click on rotation. Rotate 180 degrees. Extra points if the teacher can’t find out how to get it back the way it was.
24. Put wads of chewed gum on the end of your pencil.
25. Ask to be excused to the bathroom. Even if wewe just came from recess lunch.
26. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand. If the teacher calls on you, ask if wewe can go to the bathroom.
27. Ask if wewe can be excused to go to the bathroom, then take a tour arround the school.
28. Put too many staples on your paper when wewe staple it. Extra points if wewe make a good ubunifu with them.
29. Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.
30. Bring brightly colored notebook paper to write on. Examples: neon pink, purple, red, orange, green…and so on.
31. Blurt out the majibu to the teachers questions.
32. When your teacher asks a question, wiggle in your kiti, kiti cha and shout “I know, I know!”
33. When the teacher ask a question, wave your hand like a palm mti in a hurricane and say “pick me, pick me!” When the teacher finally calls on you, say “never mind”.
34. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.
35. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on wewe say “I wasn’t paying attention”.
36. Make basket shots with every paper wewe want to throw away. Extra points if wewe get a basket.
37. When the teacher calls on you, tell her the longest personal story wewe know.
38. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”
39. When the teacher calls on you, talk so softly that the teacher can barely hear you. When she tells wewe to speak up, pretend to be dead on your desk.
40. When the teacher calls on wewe say “finally”—Even if wewe where picked first.
41. Count how many times your teacher says um. At the end of the period, present the grand total at the end of class.
42. For your book report, choose the shortest book with the most pictures wewe can find.
43. Whistle while wewe work.
44. Never seem to listen to directions.
45. Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.
46. Comb, brush, au braid your hair in class.
47. Bring a lizard, mouse, rat, exedra into class. “Accidentally” let it lose. Extra points if the teacher screams like a little girl.
48. Don’t work when the teacher is looking. Work when the teacher is working.
49. Sigh, “This is boring” heavily.
50. Laugh out loud for no reason.
51. Don’t talk to a substitute teacher because the is a “stranger”.
52. Never let your teacher finish a sentence without an interruption.
53. After everything your teacher says say “That’s what wewe think”.
54. If wewe have a substitute teacher, ask wewe and your Marafiki to sit in all different places so that the substitute’s seating chart is all messed up.
55. Track sand into the classroom kwa “accident”.
56. Keep dropping your pencil.
57. Call her “grandma”.
58. Call him “grandpa”
59. Throw lots of spit wads.
60. Fall asleep in class. If the teacher wakes you, say “aww, I was dreaming wewe were actually nice”.
61. After class, cover every inch of the dry-erase board with dry-erase marker so that the teacher can not write anything on it.
62. Hide other vitabu inside of text vitabu and appear to be kusoma the text book.
63. After every time the teacher explains something ask “is that going to be on the test?”
64. After every time the teacher explains something say “well, duh”.
65. Make up humorous excuses for being late.
66. Forget to have your parents make excuses for being late.
67. Yell “Yessssssssss” after every time wewe finished something. Anything.
68. Annoy Ms. Thompson. AT ALL COST.
69. If Mr. Corley walks by, whistle innocently, and when he turns his back, run fast.
70. Make animal shows on projector.
71. Read your math book when wewe are supposed to be kusoma history. If the teacher asks why, say “oh, how did that get there?”
72. Read comic vitabu hidden in your text books.
73. Ask a teacher how old she is. When she replies, put your hand over your moyo and say “WOW!”
74. Ask the same swali the teacher just finished answering 10 dakika ago.
75. Knock a heavy text book off your dawati again…and again…and again….and again….
76. Keep finding an excuse to keep walking in front of the projector.
77. Smudge up your paper so that it is hard to read.
78. Ask for help on something. Then say “never mind”. Then ask for help on the same thing 2 dakika later to annoy your teacher.
79. Make animal bunny ears to the teacher if she/he is infront of the projector.
80. Read out loud during silent kusoma time.
81. Pretend to fall asleep instead of following instructions. Then say “I don’t get it”.
82. Doodle on your desk. Big, hard to ignore doodles.
83. Write stupid maswali on your desk.
84. Put messages in your textbooks.
85. Always write in marker. Bright neon marker colors.
86. While the teacher is talking, roll your eyes. Then yawn and stretch. After that, gaze longingly out the window. Keep looking at the clock every five minutes. Sigh. Very loudly.
87. Whistle very loudly when the teacher is trying to concentrate.
88. Never look up a word in the dictionary. Always ask your teacher.
89. Make your id picture hard to read.
90. Put staples all over the floor.
91. If wewe have the guts, start a chakula fight. ?
92. Come in just after the kengele every day.
93. Complain about the chakula at the school cafeteria.
94. Pretend like wewe have only one brain cell.
95. Where sunglasses inside. Even if it is cloudy.
96. Laugh stupidly. Often.
97. Talk loudly about your inayopendelewa show.
98. If wewe can, get the necessary materials to take over the p.a system. Then, play forty dakika of your inayopendelewa cd over it. Extra points if wewe do not get caught.
99. Play coin football during silent kusoma time.
100. Gather your stuff ten dakika before class ends.
101. Run out of the classroom right after the bell. Before the teacher dismisses you.