Things to do in a movie theater
1. Inform the entire theatre that wewe have to go to the bathroom. Wait a dakika au so and tell everyone that wewe feel better now.
3. Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes.
4. Sing along with the backround music.
5. Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!"
7. Yell "Hey, down in front!" even if wewe are sitting in the front.
8. Make shadow puppets.
9. If you've seen the movie before, say what's going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight.
10. Walk around behind the screen. Jump through it. Run like hell.
11. Pull out a squirt gun and shoot the "bad guys." Tell people that wewe are a part of this new "live action" movie. Squirt any movie personnel telling wewe to stop.
12. Read the credits out loud.
13. Dress as a cheerleader. Keep the actors' enthusiasm up.
14. Stand kwa the screen and sign the movie.
15. Rip off one end of a straw wrapper and blow in the straw. The wrapper will fly across the theatre, hopefully hitting someone.
16. (Variation of above) Dip the wrapper end in ketchup. This will make it a permanent part of the screen.
17. If it's a Disney film, go up to the projector room and replace the film with an adult film.
18. Talk loudly to a friend. Whenever someone else makes the slightest noise, tell them they are inconsiderate little bastards for disrupting your viewing pleasure.
19. Put Ex-Lax in the drinks. Lock all the doors.
20. Say "beep" loudly at every vulgarity. Tell those objecting that wewe are from the EPA here to stop noise pollution.
21. Throw Runts at people so wewe can use the drive kwa fruiting joke.
22. Sacrifice small furry creatures in the front of the theatre.
23. Sit kwa the aisle. Trip everyone that walks by.
24. Walk in front of the screen, fall, and lay there for a few minutes. Then get up and go back to your kiti, kiti cha as if nothing happened. Do it again every ten minutes.
25. Play an appropriate instrument for the movie:
western=banjo, comedy=cazoo, action=synthesizer au guitar, mystery=bad whistle, etc.
26. Say the lines with the movie, in Swahili.
27. Collect donations for charity.
28. Bring a portable T.V. Watch the ball game. Cheer loudly.
29. Aerosol can. Zippo. 'nuff said.
30. Throw paper airplanes. Anounce their take off like air traffic control personnel.
31. Candle + flashpaper = fireballs!
32. Yell "Ow!" after every gunshot.
33. Stand on your head in the aisle during the duration of the movie.
34. Have a barbecue.
35. Gargle your soft drink.
37. Bowl in the isle.
38. Throw smoke grenades.
39. Play Battleship with someone accross the theatre.
40. Wear a trench kanzu, koti and sunglasses. Whenever someone enters au exits the theatre ask to see their identification.
41. Do shots.
42. Eat a lot of beans au chili before the movie. Hope the theatre is crowded.
43. Leave death threats on various seats. Give sinister glances to people as they leave the theatre.
44. Break into a chorus of "I Will Survive" during climatic parts of the movie.
45. Do some needlepoint. Suddenly yell "Ow! That hurt. Woah cool, it's spurting."
46. Find the light switch. Turn the lights on.
47. Throw water balloons.
48. Bring lots of gerbils and mice. Think snowball fight.
49. Have a friend call your beeper every 5 minutes. Make sure it's loud.