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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can wewe tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick, kifimbocheza is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her zaidi attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do wewe say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are wewe boys all in the same band?
A3: Do wewe guys all play for the Green bay Packers?

Q: How do wewe make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The zaidi wewe bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a bia bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti, tambi have in common?
A: They both wriggle when wewe eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do wewe get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do wewe call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do wewe get when wewe turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the mitaani, mtaa when the sign alisema "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a kanzu, koti hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because kondoo can't bring bia from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window kiti, kiti cha on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it alisema From 2-4 years.

Q: How do wewe confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E au does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook chakula stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's inayopendelewa potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did wewe hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did wewe hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees wewe on one.

Q: How do wewe know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All wewe have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do wewe call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up kwa 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around kwa the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did wewe hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When wewe have a tire pampu to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's inayopendelewa part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did wewe here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: What's a blonde's inayopendelewa nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did wewe name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did wewe hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in kitanda kwa 10?
A: She picks up her mfuko wa fedha, mfuko and goes home.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when wewe pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did wewe hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea, njegere in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde is walking down the mitaani, mtaa with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did wewe get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six au twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of salama sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did wewe hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
added by 3xZ
Source: Jirka Väätäinen
added by 3xZ
When I was ten, I played a late night game of flashlight tag with a bunch of neighborhood kids. If wewe don't know what flashlight tag is, it's the same as tag, but wewe play it in the dark, the person who's "it" gets a flashlight, and they have to yell the name of the person they see with it in order to "tag" them. It was really cloudy that night, and most people had their curtains drawn, so it was the perfect level of darkness for hiding in.

The side of the mitaani, mtaa my house was on was skirted kwa a broad length of woods. That was basically the boundary for our side of the game. wewe could run through...
continue reading...
added by Dreamtime
added by tanyya
#11: Swarm

Swarm is a a former Nazi scientist, named Fritz Von Meyer. He became Swarm after mutant bees devoured him.

#10: The Beetle

There are three different Beetles to choose from. They are Abner Jenkins, Leila Davis, and Janice Lincoln.

#9: The Molten Man

Molten Man was once named Mark Raxton, a scientist for Oscorp. His body was altered in a chemical explosion, causing him to be a villain made of fire.

#8: Hydro Man

Hydro Man was once known as Morris Bench, a man who worked on a shipyard, until he was genetically altered kwa radiation.

#7: Dr.Spencer Smythe and the buibui Slayers

Dr.Spencer Smythe...
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posted by -SkySplitter-
I don't own any of these
_____________________________________________

1. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

2. Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

3. Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

4. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

5. What do wewe call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I don't know,...
continue reading...
added by Mike-Ro-Wave
added by 16falloutboy
Source: Me
I saw this elderly gentleman dining kwa himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his siku kwa talking to him.

As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn't expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then Lost contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he alisema he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California,...
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hujambo there Nintendo mashabiki im making a new series based off Nintendos beloved characters from the super Mario series. If wewe are interested click on my profaili for zaidi information. If not then read on maybe wewe will get interested?

ENJOY :D made kwa one HUGE Nintendo shabiki (SeeUV3 aka me)

pink Yoshi (Main character)

Name: Marry-ann-Hato
Age: 13 1/2 (currently)
tarehe of birth: ( 2000,july 7th)
personality : Clumsy,kind,a bit too nice sometimes,blunt ,happy ,lovable

Likes: singing, Dancing,Performing,Drawing
Dislikes: Math,Science,Geography

Power Type: electro porter (power of technology and...
continue reading...
added by London
video
added by selenagomezfan7
video
added by Gretulee
added by karlyluvsam
Source: tumbler
added by australia-101
added by australia-101
added by BridgetteBabe12
Source: Me (: