Not So Smart, Need A Sign?
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft, slab from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft, slab was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the mitaani, mtaa to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few dakika in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip au go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few dakika later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a picha of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But wewe still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe wewe are over 21.”
The robber alisema he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record duka nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bia pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit kwa cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft, slab from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft, slab was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the mitaani, mtaa to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few dakika in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip au go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few dakika later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a picha of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But wewe still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe wewe are over 21.”
The robber alisema he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record duka nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bia pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit kwa cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Everyone strives to be beautiful. But, honestly, what is beautiful? Beautiful used to be someone who was loving, who was caring and had a beautiful heart. Someone who told the truth but never hurt others. Someone who never got caught up in gossip au drama. Someone who, no matter what was happening in their life, was always there for someone else who had it worse. Now, beauty has big boobs, is stick-thin and wears 5 lbs. of make up. Now, beautiful is someone who has name-brand clothes, the best phone and tons of friends. Beautiful is a 'perfect' body. Beautiful is photo-shopped long lashes and clear skin. Now, beauty doesn't matter what's on the inside. I wish we could all go back to when beautiful was our moms sitting on the kitanda with us in pajamas, no make up, when we were five. I miss those days. This is a sick, messed up world. And I can't stand it.
Bottled up inside
Are the words I never said‚
The feelings that I hide‚
The lines wewe never read.
wewe can see it in my eyes‚
Read it on my face:
Trapped inside are lies
Of the past I can't replace.
With memories that linger-
Won't seem to go away.
Why can't I be happier?
Today's a brand-new day.
Yesterdays are over‚
Even though the hurting's not.
Nothing lasts forever‚
I must cherish what I've got.
Don't take my upendo for granted‚
For soon it will be gone-
All wewe ever wanted
Of the upendo wewe thought you'd won.
The hurt I'm feeling now
Won't disappear overnight‚
But someway‚ somehow‚
Everything will turn out all right‚
No zaidi wishing for the past.
It wasn't meant to be.
It didn't seem to last‚
So I have to set him free.
This is not mine‚ it was written kwa Melissa Collette
Are the words I never said‚
The feelings that I hide‚
The lines wewe never read.
wewe can see it in my eyes‚
Read it on my face:
Trapped inside are lies
Of the past I can't replace.
With memories that linger-
Won't seem to go away.
Why can't I be happier?
Today's a brand-new day.
Yesterdays are over‚
Even though the hurting's not.
Nothing lasts forever‚
I must cherish what I've got.
Don't take my upendo for granted‚
For soon it will be gone-
All wewe ever wanted
Of the upendo wewe thought you'd won.
The hurt I'm feeling now
Won't disappear overnight‚
But someway‚ somehow‚
Everything will turn out all right‚
No zaidi wishing for the past.
It wasn't meant to be.
It didn't seem to last‚
So I have to set him free.
This is not mine‚ it was written kwa Melissa Collette
I AM A VICTIM OF THE INNORCENT SUSPENSION! But this is how I'm talking to you!
So I went to use fanpop on an iPad that belonged to a friend, because I can't reply to foramu posts au maoni on a computer.
Then I saw it. It alisema I was suspended. I was in utter shock, I knew about people getting suspended like this. I never though it'd happen to me. I went on the computer yesterday and remembered, I was still logged on! Yep, I can use fanpop because I kept myself logged on somewhere. So PLEASE, don't think it won't happen to you. If wewe would like your account saved I highly recommend wewe keep it logged on somewhere. If wewe can't do that, just please be careful. ~amy36y
So I went to use fanpop on an iPad that belonged to a friend, because I can't reply to foramu posts au maoni on a computer.
Then I saw it. It alisema I was suspended. I was in utter shock, I knew about people getting suspended like this. I never though it'd happen to me. I went on the computer yesterday and remembered, I was still logged on! Yep, I can use fanpop because I kept myself logged on somewhere. So PLEASE, don't think it won't happen to you. If wewe would like your account saved I highly recommend wewe keep it logged on somewhere. If wewe can't do that, just please be careful. ~amy36y