Not So Smart, Need A Sign?
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft, slab from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft, slab was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the mitaani, mtaa to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few dakika in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip au go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few dakika later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a picha of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But wewe still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe wewe are over 21.”
The robber alisema he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record duka nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bia pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit kwa cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft, slab from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft, slab was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the mitaani, mtaa to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few dakika in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip au go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few dakika later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a picha of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But wewe still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe wewe are over 21.”
The robber alisema he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record duka nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some bia pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit kwa cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Step 1: Form crush
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to Marafiki about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in upendo with crush
Step 10: Imagine having babies with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to Marafiki about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in upendo with crush
Step 10: Imagine having babies with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.
1. chewed chewing gum under your meza, jedwali must never be wasted once in your mouth the taste is like OMG it tastes of syliva
2. If wewe lick your sweat wewe can see the future
3. screaming every time someone calls your name is normal
4. yur teacher has seen wewe in da kuoga no JOKE
4. people be sick on wewe all the time right want to know why it because your ugly
5.i am your biological father i am also your grandma i have no teeth
6.Aliens will abduct wewe one siku and steal your brain
7.you will live on a farm
8.im sorry but wewe see dat guy behind u he is going to kill wewe
9. i like flying wid da monkeys
10. wewe cany dance au sing so PLEASE STOP TRYING
11. i am a pervert and im comming for wewe hujambo sexi
2. If wewe lick your sweat wewe can see the future
3. screaming every time someone calls your name is normal
4. yur teacher has seen wewe in da kuoga no JOKE
4. people be sick on wewe all the time right want to know why it because your ugly
5.i am your biological father i am also your grandma i have no teeth
6.Aliens will abduct wewe one siku and steal your brain
7.you will live on a farm
8.im sorry but wewe see dat guy behind u he is going to kill wewe
9. i like flying wid da monkeys
10. wewe cany dance au sing so PLEASE STOP TRYING
11. i am a pervert and im comming for wewe hujambo sexi