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This is my juu 14 fave sayings and nukuu :) Enjoy xx

14. wewe got to swim out of your comfort zone to catch the wave thats going to change your life -Unknown
13.Sometimes your knight in shining armour, is just an idiot wrapped in tin foil -Unknown
12."God heals and the doctors takes the fee" -Unknown
11.Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision -Marilyn Monroe
10.Remember the days when blackberry and apple where just matunda -Unknown
9.When guys get jealous, its kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War 3 is about to start -Unknown
8.You know youre in upendo when wewe cant fall...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical farasi with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an ipod au something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the chakula sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the muziki store whether wewe can get a CD that wewe know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only kwa this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My Marafiki are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for wewe when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent kwa Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two dakika later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if wewe are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when wewe get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the kofia #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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What Color Of Socks Are wewe Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
pink = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy


What Kind Of Pants Are wewe Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict


What Is Your Natural...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Usui--takumi
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, wewe realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution au revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much zaidi than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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posted by someone_save_me
Beauty is our weapon against nature; kwa it we make objects, giving them limit, symmetry, proportion. Beauty halts and freezes the melting flux of nature.
Camille Paglia

Break a vase, and the upendo that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that upendo which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.
Derek Walcott

Guided only kwa their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired kwa the art of mathematics rather than kwa any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
E. T. kengele

I don't...
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First off, this is not made to offend anyone! If your offended kwa this then I apoligize. Anyway these are the most horrible shows I have ever seen! If wewe have a reason for a onyesha I put maoni and I might add it(ill give credit about it to wewe because its your idea :D) Anyway sorry for all this long kusoma right here but here we go:
(Cartoon Network)
-(from commercial)Secret Mountain Fort Awesome:
1.Characters are even uglier then the "Problem Solvers" characters who are pretty god damn ugly!
2.From the looks on the commercial, it seems like it has no good things that will happen au any interesting...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a bila mpangilio song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are zaidi people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even alisema shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."

7. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that wewe are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kitanda holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say wewe know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors kwa your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as wewe can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a shabiki but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a shabiki but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
posted by Tamar20
Have wewe ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this makala is right for you! Hahaha. wewe know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that wewe have to go to the bathroom, and that wewe think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are wewe doing okay in there?". To make it even zaidi annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if wewe do not have permission from alisema company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that wewe give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by kinga10111
..... bila mpangilio Facts .....

If wewe have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, wewe have $1.19. wewe also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest bila mpangilio speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like wewe for a minute, and then forget wewe afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are wewe doing something?" au "Have wewe eaten already?" are the first usual maswali a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a moyo attack. His moyo isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first wewe don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on moto with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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