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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she alisema it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written kwa a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As wewe will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by spunkyonyx
If wewe have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, wewe have $1.19. wewe also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest bila mpangilio speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by cute20k
Do wewe have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause wewe to spit and ask wewe not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. wewe fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. wewe blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All siku long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells wewe a joke and wewe say "LOL".

3. wewe watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. wewe have called out someone's screen name while making upendo to your significant other.

5. wewe keep begging your Marafiki to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. wewe have to get a 2d phone line just so wewe can call pizza Hut.

9. wewe go into labour and wewe stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like wewe for a minute, and then forget wewe afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are wewe doing something?” au “Have wewe eaten already?” are the first usual maswali a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell wewe a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give wewe the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win au lose fight its one of those that wewe hate.
Cheral:Do wewe have that one girl that wewe don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a ng'ombe so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize ng'ombe for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact wewe to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write au draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of wewe do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps wewe guys, GREAT! if anyone has any maswali most likely i will be zaidi than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Don't say we are bitches unless u want our brothers to come after u.

2. If we say we upendo u u better say it back au u better bata and run.

3. If u hit us trust me when i say u just drove into fuckville.

4. When we ask u to "give us some space" u better get as far as u can.

5. If u cheat on us u may want to hide and stay hiden.

6. *4 middle school kids* If wewe want to get serious like in kitanda serious u have to be jokeing au high au SOMETHING!

7. If we say we're pissed off keep the hell out of our way.

8. *keep in mind* never and i mean NEVER say that we need to calm down.

9. *important* NEVER TELL US WHAT TO DO! NEVER!!!

10. Be sure to remind us that we're beautiful because we can be insecure.

11. When we ask if these pants make our butts look big AWAYS SAY NO!!

12. Sometimes we just want to be huged au some wa to know u upendo us.
posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can wewe tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick, kifimbocheza is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her zaidi attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do wewe say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are wewe boys all in the same band?
A3: Do wewe guys all play for the Green bay Packers?

Q: How do wewe make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. wewe have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets wewe a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If wewe want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if wewe are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten dakika intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people wewe can get
to jiunge in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department kwa sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as wewe see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that wewe just wanna ngumi, punch in the face , then someohow , wewe end up in a relationship with them , wewe fall in upendo , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing wewe want to burn either (:]) Well if wewe still have feelings for that person im gonna help wewe get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap wewe guys (: , ohk so wewe could first start off kwa doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave wewe on moto ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
Be proud of your gender
Reasons why wewe shoud be proud if your a

Guy



1. Phone conversations are over in 30 sekunde flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. wewe know stuff about tanks

4. A five siku vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. wewe can open all your own jars

7. Old Marafiki don't give wewe crap if you've gained weight

8. Your punda is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A bia gut does not make wewe invisible to the opposite sex

11. wewe can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. wewe can kill your own...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are wewe tired of always ordering pizza the same way? Well, this lists will keep wewe entertained for over 90 pizza orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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1)Devise a secret code with your Marafiki then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask maswali so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s maswali in slow motion 2)Answer maswali only with one word
3)Scream bila mpangilio words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” au “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer maswali in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."

7. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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wewe know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your inayopendelewa character from nyota Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled kwa Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, au Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your inayopendelewa female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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