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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. upendo yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
Cherie-Carter Scotts
Trust opens up new and unimagined possibilities.
Robert C. Solomon
Many people are blind to trust, not so much to its benefits as to its nature and the practices that make it possible.
Robert C. Solomon
All trust involves vulnerability and risk, and nothing would count as trust if there were no possibility of betrayal.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a skill, one that is an aspect of virtually all human practices, cultures, and relationships.
Robert C. Solomon
Trust is a...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical farasi with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an ipod au something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the chakula sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the muziki store whether wewe can get a CD that wewe know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only kwa this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My Marafiki are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for wewe when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent kwa Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two dakika later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if wewe are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when wewe get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits inayofuata Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have wewe tried inaonyesha him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like wewe - very homosexually.
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - samaki Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did wewe get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin, auk rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so wewe guy will need a babysitter!


*10 dakika later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 dakika later*
Amber:I wuv chai parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are wewe doing?
Amber:Having a chai party!
Ashley:Can I...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable kwa the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a kitanda of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your mto X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."

7. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring wewe riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: wewe crave attention, wewe absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, wewe may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because kwa being a retard online wewe can get all the attention wewe need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If wewe want to be a retard wewe must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by Tamar20
Have wewe ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this makala is right for you! Hahaha. wewe know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that wewe have to go to the bathroom, and that wewe think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are wewe doing okay in there?". To make it even zaidi annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This orodha was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My vipendwa are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round meza, jedwali was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much wewe push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when wewe are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then wewe may call her kwa this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by spunkyonyx
hujambo guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the chanzo if available. Any others wewe may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have zaidi zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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posted by Mel4ever
GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So wewe have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! hujambo girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did wewe know kissing is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken supu actually makes wewe feel better. 94% of boys would upendo it if wewe sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your juu lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult wewe when they like you! 89% of guys want wewe to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. chokoleti will make wewe feel better! Most...
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posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your briefcase, mkoba au handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the ukuta without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him au her to call wewe Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your dawati is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask wewe to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a bila mpangilio mwaka and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten dakika intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people wewe can get
to jiunge in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department kwa sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as wewe see fit.

9. When there are...
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