Blue karatasi la kupamba ukuta

Two women Marafiki had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking nyumbani they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone au something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe...

A/N: Before wewe ask, no, this isn't my story. I just heard is somewhere. A LONG time ago. Please don't sue me if this is yours! *Sobs* I'M TOO YOUNG TOO DIE!!!

Once upon a time there was a man. I don't know his name. Lets call him George. So...George isn't fat, he's just...a little over-weight. Just a little. And he doesn't like it. Not one bit. So he tries dieting. It doesn't work. He can't help it, he just can't go for over three days without going to MacDonalds. He does this for a couple months, starting diets and ditching them when he gets too hungry. Finally, he gets so fed up with this...

This is dedicated to my saladi that I was supposed to have on January 12, 2011



O salad, delicious salad

where have I been?

I got Lost with the chips and cookies

but at last we meet again.



O salad, delicious salad

you ask that I not go

but the other foods call

the meat, the wheat, as well as the cookie dough.



O salad, delicious salad

how long will I stay?

For a while, I hope.

I will try to visit once a day.



O salad, dear salad

from a seedling wewe grew

and now with your ranch dressing

I must bid wewe adeu



For Lunch time arrives

and my tummy rumbles

before you

my will crumbles.



O salad, dear salad

we shall meet...