Tech karatasi la kupamba ukuta

-when wewe ask someone for something and they try to annoy wewe because they have it and wewe don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give wewe work wewe have to do at nyumbani and wewe have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your Marafiki call saying they'll come over and never onyesha up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own nyumbani and being controlled kwa your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if wewe make one "dirty" au "wrong" joke

-overprotective...

Katniss:

Peeta and I had just won the Hunger Games. A televised fight to the death. My sister, Prim, had been picked to be in the Games, so I took her place. Now I was at nyumbani with her and my mother. Peeta was living in a house near me. We had pretended to be in upendo for the Games so we would both win. I don’t really upendo him, but I think that he really does upendo me. Well, now everything is normal. Prim, my mother, Peeta, and I are fine. Everything is different, though. I had been so used to living in the Seam, that all of these luxuries from winning the Games seem abnormal and unusual to...

ATTENTION PEOPLES OF HOGWARTS AND BEAUBATONS AND DURMSTRANG AND PIGFARTS AND ALL wewe MUGGLES INBETWEEN! I AM CHANGING THE STORY LINE PLOT THINGY FROM AL QUEDA ATTACKING AMERICA TO A WIZARDS BATTLE! PLEASE STILL ENJOY THE ORIGINAL AND TAKE CARE! I WILL POST THE NEW VERSION SOON!


This is a bila mpangilio book I was uandishi about Al Queda attacking America, and I got the idea from my friend, who had a nightmare, and alisema I could write a book au something. This is the first chapter, so I'd upendo it if wewe could post your thoughts about it, anything I could change, things wewe liked, things that didn't make...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President au Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a mwaka plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

The vodka Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage Debate Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status sasisho Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether au not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, sekunde of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Everytime your reach a new floor, scream "Glory hallelujah! We will reach the promised land!!!"

2. Interrogate people as if wewe worked for the FBI.

3. Make wild turkey noises and when people tell wewe to stop, say "You have no respect for animal rights, do you?"

4. Sing your inayopendelewa song and when people get annoyed, sing louder.

5. Follow bila mpangilio people off and tell them what to buy every dakika au so. If wewe get in trouble, say wewe were helping the person make educated choices.

6. Press every button, and try and get off, then, speak into your collar, alama and say, "Houston, we have a problem, floor#__...

1. Take someone's shopping gari and switch the items with stuff from the person inayofuata to them's gari
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen wewe in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of wewe on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. songesha "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

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When wewe are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When wewe are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When wewe are dating..... He takes wewe out to have a good time.
When wewe are married ....He brings nyumbani a 6 pack, and says "What are wewe going to drink?"

When wewe are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When wewe are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When wewe are dating..... A Single kitanda for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When wewe are married ....A King size kitanda feels like an army cot.

When wewe are dating..... wewe are turned on at the sight of him naked....