BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say wewe upendo me! Say wewe upendo me!
BOY : wewe upendo me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will wewe give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't wewe ever want to improve??
BOY : I upendo wewe and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would wewe stay there??
SHARON : Have wewe ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : wewe remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because wewe make me sick.
WIFE : wewe tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : wewe tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are wewe sure wewe upendo me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole orodha again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is zaidi important to us, the sun au the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the siku time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do wewe call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter : "Would wewe like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do wewe have?
Teacher : "Sam, wewe talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do wewe mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a mitaani, mtaa hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do wewe say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records onyesha that nine out of ten people die of the disease wewe have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same siku and at the same time."
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do wewe know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say wewe upendo me! Say wewe upendo me!
BOY : wewe upendo me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will wewe give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't wewe ever want to improve??
BOY : I upendo wewe and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would wewe stay there??
SHARON : Have wewe ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : wewe remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because wewe make me sick.
WIFE : wewe tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : wewe tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are wewe sure wewe upendo me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole orodha again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is zaidi important to us, the sun au the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the siku time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do wewe call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter : "Would wewe like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do wewe have?
Teacher : "Sam, wewe talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do wewe mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a mitaani, mtaa hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do wewe say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records onyesha that nine out of ten people die of the disease wewe have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same siku and at the same time."
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do wewe know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
1.Always be fresh and beautiful 2.Apply make-up but not too much(coz u will look like a white lady!scary!) 3.Have a pleasing smile when he looks at u 4.Dont loose confidence when u see him.dont get nervous,say a simple"hi"who knows,maybe he'll reply u with a hello that u'd longed to hear 5.Show him ur good side! 6.Show him ur secret talents. 7.Wear dresses appropriate to his taste 8.Dont be so noisy when ur with him(guys dont like noisy girls 9.Always do things that u know he will like 10 IDK^-^just do anything,i dont know what 2 write with no.ten.