bila mpangilio Club
jiunge
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
video
choreography
dance
epic
muziki
bts
kpop
songs
singers
added by ace2000
added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
1. Angel Eyes - call her this name and she'll either think you're lying au you'll get some action faster than a pit ng'ombe on a t-bone.

2. Baby Doll - is a class girlfriend name so call her this all wewe want even if she is the kind who will out chug wewe in bia and pull a monster truck over your face on occasion.

3. Bubble Butt - is one of those names wewe never, and I mean never call your girlfriend since this will end it all, and there will be no chance in getting back with her even for a drunken 2 am booty call.

4. Cuddle Bug - is one that most girlfriends will respond well to and will be an invitation...
continue reading...
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys upendo flirts.
3. A guy can like wewe for a minute, and then forget wewe afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are wewe doing something?" au "Have wewe eaten already?" are the first usual maswali a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
1. I upendo the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I upendo the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I upendo the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I upendo the way wewe look at me.

5. I upendo how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I upendo the way I can’t imagine a siku without wewe in my life.

7. I upendo the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I upendo the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I upendo the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I upendo how I know you’ll always be there when I need wewe to be.

11....
continue reading...
1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, au to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get wewe in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly kwa giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the inayofuata family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - wewe may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin cap, herufi kubwa and feed him grapes when...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And onyesha me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And wewe upendo it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
onyesha me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And kumeza it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
I never thought I would be doing a orodha like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this orodha with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please maoni but be polite. Also, always maoni because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
continue reading...
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers wewe know.
12.Strangers wewe don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to futa above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
continue reading...
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar wewe grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something au someone

3. Go up to a bila mpangilio person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki bila mpangilio noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a kisima, chemchemi run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to wewe in public about the...
continue reading...
1. At the movies: When wewe meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are wewe doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t wewe try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When wewe ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while zamani and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask wewe somethingand i want wewe to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how wewe feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want wewe to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi au Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious makala on pcworld.com
Don't know who the mwandishi is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's nyara Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
continue reading...
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a nenosiri other than "password" au "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits inayofuata to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be zaidi imaginative.

I will not bore my boss kwa with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some zaidi excuses.

I will do less laundry and use zaidi deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
continue reading...
Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The onyesha was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids onyesha that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The onyesha had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my inayopendelewa parts of the onyesha was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
continue reading...
added by Juilet1234
posted by flippy_fan210
Some of wewe might have heard of the game Facade. those of wewe who have, wewe probably wonder why they hate Melons so much. well, this is my theory.
_____________________-_____________________
Trip and Grace used to live in a normal home, no fancy apartment. they had a child, Phoebe. she...really liked melons.

she bought one when she was 5 and never let anyone eat it. they let her keep it. one day, she alisema "i want a cat". it was totally out of the blue, but they alisema yes, she got a little black cat and named him Ivan. she really loved him. one day, she took Ivan up to her room. she came down,...
continue reading...