Spoilers for 1x12 'Dorkus'
As wewe may know, Ryan Murphy has alisema that one of his main inspirations for the onyesha was a particularly nasty barua pepe penned (or typed, rather) kwa a Sorority board member and sent to her sorority sisters in 2013. The barua pepe went public and people were pretty horrified. Here are a few links, just in case wewe want to know a little zaidi about the barua pepe and its influence on the show:
link
link
link
link
link
Some (perhaps all) of these viungo take a particular stance about the sorority letter, labelling the mwandishi as ‘deranged’. It is tough to find reports of the incident that don’t take that particular position on the author. I think ‘Scream Queens’ could be interpreted as an exercise in demonstrating how that particular characterisation might be unfair, as the sorority/fraternity culture seems to have the capacity to foster this kind of thinking, and then amplify it through the discourse of tradition and entitlement. I think this is what we see with Chanel (#1, obvi) and Kappa Kappa Tau.
Anywho, I thought the missive scene from 1x12 ‘Dorkus’ was brilliantly done. I loved Emma Roberts’ delivery, and the imagery of the text surrounding the Chanels, Kappa sisters and others was amazing. It showed the sisters, engaged in a variety of everyday activities (well, everyday for them…), being surrounded kwa Chanel #1’s words, demonstrating how pervasive the KKT mentality for Chanel and all her sisters. Her words were crystallised on the surface, surrounding them all, and becoming clearly legible to those outside the sorority.
I guess what I am saying is, I thought the scene was neat-o. So I decided to embody Chanel Oberlin for a while and transcribe her missive to end all missives! Here is the transcribed missive, in all its glory:
ATTENTION ALL USELESS KAPPA SLUTS –
Congratulations! If you’re kusoma this, it means you’ve overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened an email. Now if you’re asking yourself “DERRR, wait, I’m confused, is Chanel talking to ME? Am I a useless Kappa slut?” -- Simply ask yourself the following swali aloud: “IS MY NAME CHANEL #3, CHANEL #5, CHANEL #6, au ZAYDAY WILLIAMS?” Because if the answer to that is “YES”, then FELICITATIONS! THIS MISSIVE IS FOR YOU!!
So, do wewe all remember when we all agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill the Dean and I got wewe all awesome new phones so that when it came time to meet the phone would light up a certain colour and when it did wewe didn’t even have to answer it! wewe just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool? 
And then do wewe remember NOT coming to the pool, despite me making it super easy for wewe kwa concocting a plan so simple than an orangutan could have figured it out. Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence could have looked down at the phone, sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical Lederhosen and seen it light up and used his short little legs to waddle over to his tiny motorized Shriners car and driven to the pool like I asked. 
Do wewe remember any aspect of this SUPER-SIMPLE PLAN? That’s not a rhetorical swali - I’m literally asking if your tiny slut brains have the power to process ANY OF MY SUPER-SIMPLE ORANGUTAN-LEVEL INSTRUCTIONS, because what I remember is that NONE OF wewe SHOWED UP, which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool kwa myself like a GRADE-A ASSHAT with a bag full of enormous chains to drown Dean Munsch with and then have a super-awkward convo with her where I was like, “Oh derrr, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools.” And I looked like a total div. 
I don’t entirely know what wewe whores could have been doing that was zaidi important than helping your Chapter President drown a serial killer, but unless that thing wewe were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid dhahabu at a new local establishment called “Liquid dhahabu Colonics for Young Sluts”. Like, if wewe were doing literally anything else, wewe all should seriously consider doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. I’m not being facetious. I literally think wewe should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA. 
wewe four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings ever born and wewe all should REALLY watch your backs because if this serial killer targeting Kappa house doesn’t chop off your heads, I’M GOING TO DO IT!! So I can sell your tiny whore brainpans to science.
Sincerely,
Chanel Oberlin
As wewe may know, Ryan Murphy has alisema that one of his main inspirations for the onyesha was a particularly nasty barua pepe penned (or typed, rather) kwa a Sorority board member and sent to her sorority sisters in 2013. The barua pepe went public and people were pretty horrified. Here are a few links, just in case wewe want to know a little zaidi about the barua pepe and its influence on the show:
link
link
link
link
link
Some (perhaps all) of these viungo take a particular stance about the sorority letter, labelling the mwandishi as ‘deranged’. It is tough to find reports of the incident that don’t take that particular position on the author. I think ‘Scream Queens’ could be interpreted as an exercise in demonstrating how that particular characterisation might be unfair, as the sorority/fraternity culture seems to have the capacity to foster this kind of thinking, and then amplify it through the discourse of tradition and entitlement. I think this is what we see with Chanel (#1, obvi) and Kappa Kappa Tau.
Anywho, I thought the missive scene from 1x12 ‘Dorkus’ was brilliantly done. I loved Emma Roberts’ delivery, and the imagery of the text surrounding the Chanels, Kappa sisters and others was amazing. It showed the sisters, engaged in a variety of everyday activities (well, everyday for them…), being surrounded kwa Chanel #1’s words, demonstrating how pervasive the KKT mentality for Chanel and all her sisters. Her words were crystallised on the surface, surrounding them all, and becoming clearly legible to those outside the sorority.
I guess what I am saying is, I thought the scene was neat-o. So I decided to embody Chanel Oberlin for a while and transcribe her missive to end all missives! Here is the transcribed missive, in all its glory:
ATTENTION ALL USELESS KAPPA SLUTS –
Congratulations! If you’re kusoma this, it means you’ve overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened an email. Now if you’re asking yourself “DERRR, wait, I’m confused, is Chanel talking to ME? Am I a useless Kappa slut?” -- Simply ask yourself the following swali aloud: “IS MY NAME CHANEL #3, CHANEL #5, CHANEL #6, au ZAYDAY WILLIAMS?” Because if the answer to that is “YES”, then FELICITATIONS! THIS MISSIVE IS FOR YOU!!
So, do wewe all remember when we all agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill the Dean and I got wewe all awesome new phones so that when it came time to meet the phone would light up a certain colour and when it did wewe didn’t even have to answer it! wewe just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool?
And then do wewe remember NOT coming to the pool, despite me making it super easy for wewe kwa concocting a plan so simple than an orangutan could have figured it out. Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence could have looked down at the phone, sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical Lederhosen and seen it light up and used his short little legs to waddle over to his tiny motorized Shriners car and driven to the pool like I asked.
Do wewe remember any aspect of this SUPER-SIMPLE PLAN? That’s not a rhetorical swali - I’m literally asking if your tiny slut brains have the power to process ANY OF MY SUPER-SIMPLE ORANGUTAN-LEVEL INSTRUCTIONS, because what I remember is that NONE OF wewe SHOWED UP, which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool kwa myself like a GRADE-A ASSHAT with a bag full of enormous chains to drown Dean Munsch with and then have a super-awkward convo with her where I was like, “Oh derrr, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools.” And I looked like a total div.
I don’t entirely know what wewe whores could have been doing that was zaidi important than helping your Chapter President drown a serial killer, but unless that thing wewe were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid dhahabu at a new local establishment called “Liquid dhahabu Colonics for Young Sluts”. Like, if wewe were doing literally anything else, wewe all should seriously consider doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. I’m not being facetious. I literally think wewe should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA.
wewe four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings ever born and wewe all should REALLY watch your backs because if this serial killer targeting Kappa house doesn’t chop off your heads, I’M GOING TO DO IT!! So I can sell your tiny whore brainpans to science.
Sincerely,
Chanel Oberlin
