This is my first attemt at a poam! plz tell me wat u think in a comment!
siku after siku I wonder,
I wonder why I am the way I am.
Depressed, suicidal, and unloved,
Guess its the sarrow in my soul.
For hours and hours every day,
I sit and think until my head hurts.
Think about my loved ones ive lost,
Wonder why them.
Why Why WHY,
Why not me.
All I have of them is now memorys and pictures,
I look through my picha of me and my family.
Remembering when life was easier,
When I didnt have to worry about anything.
When I was care free, a happy child!
Damn this sarrow in my soul!
Everyday I look in the mirror at myself,
And I wonder how could anyone upendo me.
And hope that one siku I am different,
Different but normal cuz right now I am a freak!
I swali why I make everyone I upendo miserable,
but I know the reason!
Im just all fake smiles and laughs,
I have been for years now.
But if u look into my troubled eyes ull find self-hatred to my self!
Damn this sarrow in my soul!!!
I lay in my kitanda and remember,
Remember my loved ones!
That I despritly need,
That I miss!
I burst out in tears and bury my face in my pillow,
And scream and cry out in pain at the memorys!
I wipe my face and walk over to my picha album,
And gasp and wince at the pain in my chest as I stare at the picture of my happy grandparents!
I feel my legs give out, and the impact of my falling to my knees,
I cry for hours and hours til I cant possably cry anymore!
Holding on to what little I have left of my grandparents,
Storys of my grandfather that I never got to meet!
And Memorys and amazing storys of my grandmother,
Who died before I became a teenager!
Wishing She was here to help me,
And tell me the words I long for!
Which are “smile girlie brighter days are coming baby girl! I upendo u Jammi!”,
And for her to hole me close and say everything is alright!
Damn this sarrow in my soul,
I condtently wonder!
Wonder if when I have a daughter
if she will look like her!
I pray she will,
That she'll be just as beautiful as her!
I drop to the ground,
I feel so weak!
Without her,
I wonder what life would be with here here with me!
I wish the pain would go away,
I wish my moyo would stop hurting!
I wish I could feel love,
I denie my future!
And I live in the past so I'll never forget,
But its time for me to let go of the past!
So I wont feel this sarrow in my soul,
So I can feel love!
So I can onyesha love,
So I can put on a smile for my family, for my friends, and for my man!
I just hope she knows that I upendo her and the I always will,
And that I miss her zaidi and zaidi everyday of my life!
That ill never ever forget her!
But I must let go of my sarrow!
Its time for me to live in the presant,
And let go of this sarrow in my soul!
siku after siku I wonder,
I wonder why I am the way I am.
Depressed, suicidal, and unloved,
Guess its the sarrow in my soul.
For hours and hours every day,
I sit and think until my head hurts.
Think about my loved ones ive lost,
Wonder why them.
Why Why WHY,
Why not me.
All I have of them is now memorys and pictures,
I look through my picha of me and my family.
Remembering when life was easier,
When I didnt have to worry about anything.
When I was care free, a happy child!
Damn this sarrow in my soul!
Everyday I look in the mirror at myself,
And I wonder how could anyone upendo me.
And hope that one siku I am different,
Different but normal cuz right now I am a freak!
I swali why I make everyone I upendo miserable,
but I know the reason!
Im just all fake smiles and laughs,
I have been for years now.
But if u look into my troubled eyes ull find self-hatred to my self!
Damn this sarrow in my soul!!!
I lay in my kitanda and remember,
Remember my loved ones!
That I despritly need,
That I miss!
I burst out in tears and bury my face in my pillow,
And scream and cry out in pain at the memorys!
I wipe my face and walk over to my picha album,
And gasp and wince at the pain in my chest as I stare at the picture of my happy grandparents!
I feel my legs give out, and the impact of my falling to my knees,
I cry for hours and hours til I cant possably cry anymore!
Holding on to what little I have left of my grandparents,
Storys of my grandfather that I never got to meet!
And Memorys and amazing storys of my grandmother,
Who died before I became a teenager!
Wishing She was here to help me,
And tell me the words I long for!
Which are “smile girlie brighter days are coming baby girl! I upendo u Jammi!”,
And for her to hole me close and say everything is alright!
Damn this sarrow in my soul,
I condtently wonder!
Wonder if when I have a daughter
if she will look like her!
I pray she will,
That she'll be just as beautiful as her!
I drop to the ground,
I feel so weak!
Without her,
I wonder what life would be with here here with me!
I wish the pain would go away,
I wish my moyo would stop hurting!
I wish I could feel love,
I denie my future!
And I live in the past so I'll never forget,
But its time for me to let go of the past!
So I wont feel this sarrow in my soul,
So I can feel love!
So I can onyesha love,
So I can put on a smile for my family, for my friends, and for my man!
I just hope she knows that I upendo her and the I always will,
And that I miss her zaidi and zaidi everyday of my life!
That ill never ever forget her!
But I must let go of my sarrow!
Its time for me to live in the presant,
And let go of this sarrow in my soul!
Numb and broken
Here I stand alone
Wondering, what were the last words I alisema to you
Hopeing, praying
That I'll find a way to turn back time
Can I turn back time
What would I give, to behold the smile in the face of love
wewe never left me, the wondering sun will always speak your name
Numb and broken
Here I stand alone
Wondering, what were the last words I alisema to you
It won't be long, we'll meet again
What would I give, to behold the smile in the face of love
wewe never left me, the wondering sun will always speak your name
It won't be long, we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again, my upendo for wewe is ever-lasting
I mourn for those, for who never knew you
I mourn for those, for who never knew you
It won't be long, we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again, my upendo for wewe is ever-lasting
it won't be long, we'll meet again
Here I stand alone
Wondering, what were the last words I alisema to you
Hopeing, praying
That I'll find a way to turn back time
Can I turn back time
What would I give, to behold the smile in the face of love
wewe never left me, the wondering sun will always speak your name
Numb and broken
Here I stand alone
Wondering, what were the last words I alisema to you
It won't be long, we'll meet again
What would I give, to behold the smile in the face of love
wewe never left me, the wondering sun will always speak your name
It won't be long, we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again, my upendo for wewe is ever-lasting
I mourn for those, for who never knew you
I mourn for those, for who never knew you
It won't be long, we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again, my upendo for wewe is ever-lasting
it won't be long, we'll meet again