Ok please be nice for this one too, it's not as close to my moyo has the last one but it's true as well and some parts are a completely sensative spot for me right now, im sure youll be able to tell which parts. And no, im not lying about how I feel to get attention au anything. One of my Marafiki told me I need to start expressing my feelings zaidi and so I found this is the easiest way- I don't really know any of wewe guys so I won't be as self conscious about wewe guys knowing how I feel.
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It started when he got a crush on this girl from his art class; he was completely fixated on her. Me doing what I thought was right set them up and they soon started dating. I was soon brushed aside and feeling completely worthless. I mean, if someone could just drop me that fast then I obviously wasn’t anything special au important.
I talked to him about it one night when I was feeling particularly depressed. He never knew I felt like that so he gladly tried to fit me back into his life but it didn’t work and so we gave up trying all together. We started hanging out less and less. We went from texting constantly most of the 24 hours in a siku to me being lucky if he talked to me for a couple hours.
I spent most of the time I had alone going through all me and him did together and what I had to have done wrong. Was I too clingy? Was I too weird? Was I too pathetic? Was I too everything? I still ask myself these things every day. No joke, no lie. As him and his girlfriend started getting out of their “honeymoon” phase he got a new friend. She was known for being really cruel and mean to everyone. At the time I was vulnerable, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it if she alisema something mean to me so I spent less time with him fearing he’d make me hang out with her to.
I was spending zaidi time with my family of Marafiki and I was so grateful they accepted me again after id ignored them all that time. Little did I know that I needed them zaidi than I thought I did. His new friend soon decided to make me a victim of her bullying, not that he cared au tried to help me at all. He’d sit there while she’d be mean to me and bully me. My family of Marafiki knew something was wrong but I refused to tell them, thinking they’d leave me if I told them how pathetic I was. I tried getting help from the school but they told me it was my fault and that I brought it upon myself. So I just tried to ignore everything, thinking it would just vanish and everything would be normal again.
One siku I was at a store with my closest friend when the girl showed up and decided to bring my friend into all of it. The girl walked up to my friend and shoved her. My friend not being fearless au one to step down was about the beat the crap out of the girl when I grabbed my friend kwa the arm and literally dragged her out of the store. After that my friend made me tell her everything.
Things didn’t get better though. The girl called the cops on me and my friend saying we threatened her. It didn’t work though because the store had everything that happened on video, but the girl never got in trouble for shoving my friend. My Marafiki couldn’t do much considering they weren’t in school anymore but they tried to help me. They were always there for me if I wanted to talk and they’d always come get me from school in the middle of the siku if I couldn’t handle it.
When the guy friend found out he took the girls side even though he didn’t know her as long as he had been Marafiki with me. I was mad and heartbroken. I told him I was done with being brushed off and treated like I was nothing. That was the last time we ever spoke, even to this day.
Things never got better with the cruel girl but she eventually graduated at the end of the mwaka and I never really spoke to her again. Over the summer my old friend and his girlfriend broke up and he made Marafiki with the girls he used to tell me were “annoying” and wouldn’t leave him alone.
This mwaka I’m taking school online and I’m spending just as much time with family of friends. One of them is even trying to set me up with her brother once he gets nyumbani in November. I doubt it’ll work out though considering I can’t bring myself to have a conversation with anyone outside of my group of friends. I always think their lying to me and just pretending to be nice because it’s the polite thing to do. I’m still young though so I have plenty of time to learn to trust again :)
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It started when he got a crush on this girl from his art class; he was completely fixated on her. Me doing what I thought was right set them up and they soon started dating. I was soon brushed aside and feeling completely worthless. I mean, if someone could just drop me that fast then I obviously wasn’t anything special au important.
I talked to him about it one night when I was feeling particularly depressed. He never knew I felt like that so he gladly tried to fit me back into his life but it didn’t work and so we gave up trying all together. We started hanging out less and less. We went from texting constantly most of the 24 hours in a siku to me being lucky if he talked to me for a couple hours.
I spent most of the time I had alone going through all me and him did together and what I had to have done wrong. Was I too clingy? Was I too weird? Was I too pathetic? Was I too everything? I still ask myself these things every day. No joke, no lie. As him and his girlfriend started getting out of their “honeymoon” phase he got a new friend. She was known for being really cruel and mean to everyone. At the time I was vulnerable, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it if she alisema something mean to me so I spent less time with him fearing he’d make me hang out with her to.
I was spending zaidi time with my family of Marafiki and I was so grateful they accepted me again after id ignored them all that time. Little did I know that I needed them zaidi than I thought I did. His new friend soon decided to make me a victim of her bullying, not that he cared au tried to help me at all. He’d sit there while she’d be mean to me and bully me. My family of Marafiki knew something was wrong but I refused to tell them, thinking they’d leave me if I told them how pathetic I was. I tried getting help from the school but they told me it was my fault and that I brought it upon myself. So I just tried to ignore everything, thinking it would just vanish and everything would be normal again.
One siku I was at a store with my closest friend when the girl showed up and decided to bring my friend into all of it. The girl walked up to my friend and shoved her. My friend not being fearless au one to step down was about the beat the crap out of the girl when I grabbed my friend kwa the arm and literally dragged her out of the store. After that my friend made me tell her everything.
Things didn’t get better though. The girl called the cops on me and my friend saying we threatened her. It didn’t work though because the store had everything that happened on video, but the girl never got in trouble for shoving my friend. My Marafiki couldn’t do much considering they weren’t in school anymore but they tried to help me. They were always there for me if I wanted to talk and they’d always come get me from school in the middle of the siku if I couldn’t handle it.
When the guy friend found out he took the girls side even though he didn’t know her as long as he had been Marafiki with me. I was mad and heartbroken. I told him I was done with being brushed off and treated like I was nothing. That was the last time we ever spoke, even to this day.
Things never got better with the cruel girl but she eventually graduated at the end of the mwaka and I never really spoke to her again. Over the summer my old friend and his girlfriend broke up and he made Marafiki with the girls he used to tell me were “annoying” and wouldn’t leave him alone.
This mwaka I’m taking school online and I’m spending just as much time with family of friends. One of them is even trying to set me up with her brother once he gets nyumbani in November. I doubt it’ll work out though considering I can’t bring myself to have a conversation with anyone outside of my group of friends. I always think their lying to me and just pretending to be nice because it’s the polite thing to do. I’m still young though so I have plenty of time to learn to trust again :)
