The Secret
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The Secret Ways to Perk Up Your Relationship. What's Yours? {Full description in comments}
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Look after yourself
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Be Grateful
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Poke fun at each other
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Capitalize on good news
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Use your illusions
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Find your ideal self—in your partner
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Notice what's new about your partner
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Put it in uandishi
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Provide support
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Get back in touch
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·Poke fun at each other -- Playfulness is one of the first casualties of a busy life. When your life consists of nothing but working, paying bills, cleaning, and sleep, play can disappear from a relationship.You have to keep it alive by having fun, joking around, using silly nicknames. Couples who tease are happier and reach more peaceful resolution
·Capitalize on good news -- Partners who respond enthusiastically to each other's successes—asking questions, paying compliments, and cheering each other on—report greater relationship satisfaction over time.
When something good happens to your partner seize the opportunity to make the most of it
·Use your illusions -- Partners who idealize each other wind up happier. Concentrate on what you like about your mate. Looking through a soft-focus lens might help you build a genuinely rosier picture over time
· Find your ideal self—in your partner -- Happy couples bring out the best in each other. Try listing your personal goals. Then think about the qualities you like most in your partner. Chances are, there's overlap between the self you aspire to and the aspects of your partner you appreciate most. Then recruit your partner to help you improve in the domains that matter to you. You'll not only get closer to your ideal self—you'll also feel closer to your partner
· Notice what's new about your partner -- Once we think we know another person so well that we don't pay attention to them anymore, the person stops being seen. So take the time to actively notice differences: Look for five things that are different from the last time you looked. Taking the time to notice increases our engagement with our partner
Once you begin to really pay attention, you'll be amazed by what you discover
· Put it in writing -- Writing has a way of shoring up romantic emotions. So next time you think fondly of your partner, write those thoughts down
· Provide support -- Hidden acts of kindness brighten your mate's day, especially when he or she is going through a challenging time. So instead of making grand gestures, find subtle ways to make your partner's life easier: Stock the fridge with a favorite drink or straighten up a cluttered workspace. Being surreptitiously supportive is a good way to exercise your positivity muscle on a small scale
· Get back in touch -- Having regular sex does wonders for relationship satisfaction and well-being. But for couples whose sex life is stalled, even just a little warm touch can make a difference
· Look after yourself -- You may think the best way to improve your relationship is to focus more on your partner, but that's not always true. Investing in your own life and happiness will pay off, too.
By making your life more satisfying, you take pressure off your relationship to be your sole source of happiness. Plus, by taking care of what you need to in your own life, you bring a more positive attitude back into the relationship. Shift your energy into your own life
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