1. Insist on calling Bill and Tom ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’.
2. Read “Green Eggs and Ham” out loud late at night.
3. When they come back to their nyumbani town after a tamasha yell “Yea, you’re back!” and hug them like you’ll never let go. After about five dakika constantly glance at the clock and say “Shouldn’t wewe be going somewhere?”
4. Sell all four of them on eBay.
5. Tattoo your name on each of their foreheads in the middle of the night in permanent marker.
6. Dress up as a chicken and sing their songs loudly and off-key.
7. Constantly remind them that the female of the...
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