I recently read an post from Twilight widower on Twilight Widowers Anonymous( it's a support site for husbands, boyfriends and life partners of Twilight addicts). It cracked me up and i want to share it with you.
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As wewe can imagine, since
the picha of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and wewe can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop kwa the local sporting goods store and brought nyumbani a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, kwa way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks zamani I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while zamani over the chajio, chakula cha jioni table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like wewe want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. bila mpangilio gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing wewe up for kinanda lessons ("You alisema wewe wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. wewe are certain she keeps calling wewe kwa a different name (“No, wewe misheard me… I alisema “I upendo you, onward!”)
6. She makes wewe stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting wewe come to kitanda (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages wewe at work and wewe hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if wewe want to read some zaidi link
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As wewe can imagine, since
the picha of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and wewe can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop kwa the local sporting goods store and brought nyumbani a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, kwa way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks zamani I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while zamani over the chajio, chakula cha jioni table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like wewe want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. bila mpangilio gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing wewe up for kinanda lessons ("You alisema wewe wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. wewe are certain she keeps calling wewe kwa a different name (“No, wewe misheard me… I alisema “I upendo you, onward!”)
6. She makes wewe stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting wewe come to kitanda (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages wewe at work and wewe hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if wewe want to read some zaidi link
Hey,
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know wewe guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If wewe want wewe can give me ideas that wewe have and ill make a story for wewe but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be uandishi stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know wewe guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If wewe want wewe can give me ideas that wewe have and ill make a story for wewe but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be uandishi stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Last one for today. ^_^
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint au something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! wewe tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them au should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint au something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! wewe tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them au should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
I confuse Sunrise with
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me upendo Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to songesha on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope wewe like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me upendo Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to songesha on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope wewe like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
EDWARD'S pea, njegere COAT
''Everybody wants to know where his pea, njegere kanzu, koti came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture au color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final ubunifu on a combination of other styles of pea, njegere coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
''Everybody wants to know where his pea, njegere kanzu, koti came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture au color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final ubunifu on a combination of other styles of pea, njegere coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
wewe are my life sence
before you, my life was
a story without tense
yOU are the sweetest dream,
my nigh't's lullaby,
my only dream.
my only heartbeat
Bels,your sweet gaze
Cuts like a kisu into the haze
I’d let wewe push me, make me frown
coz wewe are the most important thing
Your force of will now made unbound
YOUr chokoleti eyes,
can take me higher,
wewe are the rason for me
wewe are my light in the twilight
my light love
p.s : hujambo guys!i like very much uandishi but i don't be a good poet!don't be mean with me!i hope wewe like it!
before you, my life was
a story without tense
yOU are the sweetest dream,
my nigh't's lullaby,
my only dream.
my only heartbeat
Bels,your sweet gaze
Cuts like a kisu into the haze
I’d let wewe push me, make me frown
coz wewe are the most important thing
Your force of will now made unbound
YOUr chokoleti eyes,
can take me higher,
wewe are the rason for me
wewe are my light in the twilight
my light love
p.s : hujambo guys!i like very much uandishi but i don't be a good poet!don't be mean with me!i hope wewe like it!
The Couples
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be ilitumwa soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so wewe understood what was happening .Please tell me if wewe think it is good.
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be ilitumwa soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so wewe understood what was happening .Please tell me if wewe think it is good.
These are the rest of the characters.
Lily Troscout a.k.a Lily Troscout
Jason Dolley,Jason Earle,and Mitchell Musso
Mitchell is with Lily.
David and Daniel Azel
Donna Azel is married to Chris Brown so she is Donna Brown.
Tiffany Thornton,Claire Thornton,and The Thornton Quints
Peter and Simon Azel
Ritchie and Marcia Thornton
The inayofuata one will be the family and friends.
I will make the inayofuata one really long.I wrote it in my book it is 3 pages but I am still not finished.
PLEASE COMMENT,RATE,AND GET PEOPLE TO READ AND DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lily Troscout a.k.a Lily Troscout
Jason Dolley,Jason Earle,and Mitchell Musso
Mitchell is with Lily.
David and Daniel Azel
Donna Azel is married to Chris Brown so she is Donna Brown.
Tiffany Thornton,Claire Thornton,and The Thornton Quints
Peter and Simon Azel
Ritchie and Marcia Thornton
The inayofuata one will be the family and friends.
I will make the inayofuata one really long.I wrote it in my book it is 3 pages but I am still not finished.
PLEASE COMMENT,RATE,AND GET PEOPLE TO READ AND DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!