CHAPTER ONE
I never should have sucked down that last Naked Virgin.
Shoving my head under the pillow, I prayed for the kitanda to open up and kumeza me whole. No zaidi pounding skull au swirling stomach au aching muscles. And the dreams . . . Sheesh, if I pictured myself humping Elvis in the glass elevators of the Mayan Resort and Casino one zaidi friggin’ time, I was going to aim for the nearest stake.
My name? The Countess Lilliana Arrabella Guinevere du Marchette (I think). I’m a five hundred year-old (and holding) born vampire. When I’m not lying catatonic, praying to the BMVITS (that’s...
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