Rick: (Wakes up from coma) Oh my god..... How long have I been out.....
(Some time before)
Rick: Okay guys, so we got this guy who is speeding..... So were going to shoot him in the head for that
Shane: Yeah, were gonna fuck him up
Criminal: (Stops car) No, stop, I'm just a business man
Rick: There he is, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, I'll just take this out (Takes out gun) And I'll just toss it onto the ground (Throws gun on ground and shoot Rick)
Police: Quick, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, it was an accident (Gets shot)
Shane: Rick... are wewe okay
Rick: Oh, sure... I just have a bullet in my body. I'm A-O-fucking-K
Shane: So.... if wewe die, can I sleep with your wife
Rick: (Passes out)
(Present)
Rick: Well, I should get going and (Notices he's in a hospital robe) Where's my pants? ......... WHERES MY FUCKING PANTS
(Walking Dead Theme Plays)
Rick: (Walks through hospital)
(Later)
Rick: (Walks through town)
(Later)
Rick: (Walks through suburbs) This is taking too long
Walker: (Moans)
Rick: Either that's a zombie... au the effects of a Justin Bieber fan
Walker: (Attacks)
Rick: No, get away from me
Walker: (Stops) Okay (Walks off)
(Later)
Rick: (At his home) Where is my wife............. oh, and uh, what's his face son of mine. I have to find my wife.... who else will cook chajio, chakula cha jioni for me
(Later)
Morgan: Look at all these undead crackers. Not even in the outbreak does the black man get any respect
Rick: Hey, look, its a black guy.... And I'm a cop.......... I feel as though this isn't going to go well
Duane: Hey, dad, look, its the man. Can e kill him
Morgan: Nah, we'll let him live.... For now
(Later)
Rick: So, what is this
Morgan: Well, obviously, a zombie outbreak
Rick: Are wewe sure..... I mean, it could be anything
Morgan: What else comes in large numbers and spreads wider and wider with each passing minute
Rick: Bronies?
Morgan: ....................... Anyway, there is a safe-zone in Atlanta, .Georgia
Rick: Wait, a salama zone in Atlanta..... ironic, don't wewe think
Morgan: I guess. Well, wewe should get going. I want to be the first black man to survive a horror series. So, leave while I'm still alive
Rick: Okay. kwa the way, here's a radio to help
Morgan: This ain't a radio. This is a walkie talkie. A radio plays music
Rick: Well, whatever. I'm going now. See you, Morgan
Morgan: So long, cracker
(Later)
Rick: Hey, look, a pony. I'm gonna call wewe Applejack
(Later)
(Applejack gets eaten)
Rick: APPLEJACK! NOOOOOOO- Oh, a tank (Gets in tank) And now I wait for a plot device to save me
Glenn: Hey, I'm the plot device here to save you
Rick: Oh, thank go-
(To be continued)
Rick: Oh goddamn it
The End
(Some time before)
Rick: Okay guys, so we got this guy who is speeding..... So were going to shoot him in the head for that
Shane: Yeah, were gonna fuck him up
Criminal: (Stops car) No, stop, I'm just a business man
Rick: There he is, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, I'll just take this out (Takes out gun) And I'll just toss it onto the ground (Throws gun on ground and shoot Rick)
Police: Quick, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, it was an accident (Gets shot)
Shane: Rick... are wewe okay
Rick: Oh, sure... I just have a bullet in my body. I'm A-O-fucking-K
Shane: So.... if wewe die, can I sleep with your wife
Rick: (Passes out)
(Present)
Rick: Well, I should get going and (Notices he's in a hospital robe) Where's my pants? ......... WHERES MY FUCKING PANTS
(Walking Dead Theme Plays)
Rick: (Walks through hospital)
(Later)
Rick: (Walks through town)
(Later)
Rick: (Walks through suburbs) This is taking too long
Walker: (Moans)
Rick: Either that's a zombie... au the effects of a Justin Bieber fan
Walker: (Attacks)
Rick: No, get away from me
Walker: (Stops) Okay (Walks off)
(Later)
Rick: (At his home) Where is my wife............. oh, and uh, what's his face son of mine. I have to find my wife.... who else will cook chajio, chakula cha jioni for me
(Later)
Morgan: Look at all these undead crackers. Not even in the outbreak does the black man get any respect
Rick: Hey, look, its a black guy.... And I'm a cop.......... I feel as though this isn't going to go well
Duane: Hey, dad, look, its the man. Can e kill him
Morgan: Nah, we'll let him live.... For now
(Later)
Rick: So, what is this
Morgan: Well, obviously, a zombie outbreak
Rick: Are wewe sure..... I mean, it could be anything
Morgan: What else comes in large numbers and spreads wider and wider with each passing minute
Rick: Bronies?
Morgan: ....................... Anyway, there is a safe-zone in Atlanta, .Georgia
Rick: Wait, a salama zone in Atlanta..... ironic, don't wewe think
Morgan: I guess. Well, wewe should get going. I want to be the first black man to survive a horror series. So, leave while I'm still alive
Rick: Okay. kwa the way, here's a radio to help
Morgan: This ain't a radio. This is a walkie talkie. A radio plays music
Rick: Well, whatever. I'm going now. See you, Morgan
Morgan: So long, cracker
(Later)
Rick: Hey, look, a pony. I'm gonna call wewe Applejack
(Later)
(Applejack gets eaten)
Rick: APPLEJACK! NOOOOOOO- Oh, a tank (Gets in tank) And now I wait for a plot device to save me
Glenn: Hey, I'm the plot device here to save you
Rick: Oh, thank go-
(To be continued)
Rick: Oh goddamn it
The End