Song: link

Mr. Bruce: I have a song that will help wewe destroy the Eastern Pacific.
Panzer: *Listening to the music*
Robert: This ain't inspirin' me to do anythin'.
Mr. Bruce: Wait for it.
Matt: We already went through this, and some bila mpangilio girl interrupted us.
Mr. Bruce: Fine! We'll wait inayofuata week to destroy the Eastern Pacific. I hope you're happy!

Number 7, and counting. I present to everyone Diamond Tiara's Are Forever.

Starring

Doughnut Joe................................Con Mane
Diamond Tiara...............................Miss. Filly
Silverspoon....................................Miss. Silver
Carrot Top.....................................Bambi
Berry Punch...................................Thumper
Pinkie Pie..............................................P
Spike.....................................................S
Discord............................................Ernst Staverald Discord
Fluttershy........................................Whataspy
Lyra Heartstrings..............................Miss. Moneybit
Fenix Lighter & Everypony else as theirselves

Now, lets start this! in Canterlot

Celestia: We have Lost one of M.I.6's greatest spies, Rareesa Dicaprio. She was married to Con Mane, shortly before her death.
soldiers: *aim rifles in air*
Con: If only my horn wasn't shot, I would have saved her.
P: I understand, but we gotta head back to base.
Moneybit: I'm sure you'll find another special somepony.
Con: I think I already have.
Celestia: Fire!
soldiers: *fire rifles*

Back at C.I.E headquarters

Con: We just got back, and now wewe want me to go to Las Pegasus?
P: Two assassins are killing bila mpangilio ponies for no reason, but here's the worst part.
Con: They take drugs?
P: NO! They're lesbians.
Con: Well that's the only thing worse then taking drugs.
P: And there's a possibility that they work for Discord.
Con: Really? I thought I've seen the last of that monster.
P: Nope.
Con: How did he survive a fall from a cable car anyway?
P: He didn't. Shortly after he hit the ground one of his soldiers brought him back to life.
Con: And that soldier must be a unicorn.
P: Umm, actually he isn't. He's an alicorn.
Con: Oh gr8!
P: S has some stuff for wewe to take on your mission.
Con: Ten 4.
Moneybit: Do wewe take everything as a joke?
Con: Why do wewe say that?
Moneybit: The way wewe were saying "Ten 4", and I heard wewe saying that lesbians were the only thing worse then taking drugs.
Con: Well they are!
Moneybit: What if I was a lesbian?
Con: You're not.
Moneybit: What if I was a lesbian?
Con: Who would wewe be dating?
Moneybit: Bonbon.
Con: Ok, I don't see a problem with that. Bye.

2 B continued....














Not really. Con met S in his work area.

S: Con, just in time!
Con: For what?
S: The break up of Flimflam.
Con: What? They were good at making cars, why'd they break up?
S: They were too good, and were forced to break up. Now it's Flam, which just bought Lunicorn, and made it it's own subsidiary, while Flim became a part of PM. Here is one of their cars.
Con: What is it?
S: A Flim Special, and this time the guns are at the side of the doors.
Con: Interesting.
S: It will also lean on any side wewe wish.
Con: Really? What else?
S: Turbo boost.
Con: So this is technically the very first car to have turbo boost.
S: Yes. This car is all I can give wewe on such short notice, but it has your gun in it.
Con: Nambu au 1911?
S: Nambu.
Con: Good, I've been starting to like that gun.

Con recieved his equipment from S, and left for Las Pegasus. When he got there, he met a mare, that was running away from some one.

Whataspy: *gets in car* Drive!
Con: Ok *drives fast*
Bambi: She got away!
Thumper: I saw the license plate, we'll call the cops.

So they did, and they chased Con's car.

Whataspy: Those ponies chasing me must have called them.
Con: We'll lose them.
Cop 1: All units, the Special is heading toward Howlywood. Set up a roadblock!
Cops 2 & 3: *block road with cars*
Con: *deploys machine guns*
Whataspy: What was that?
Con: Something surprising *shoots cars out of the way*
Cop 2: He passed us!
Cop 1: Ten 4, I'm still on him.
Con: *goes into alleyway*
Cop 1: *follows*
Whataspy: This isn't a good idea. The alleyway will get too narrow.

And to make things worse, a ramp was in the way

Con: Lean over *goes past ramp*
Cop 1: *flips over car*
Whataspy: D:
Con: *gets out of alleyway* wewe were saying?
Whataspy: How did your car do that?
Con: That depends, what job do wewe have?
Whataspy: I work for the FBI
Con: Alright, I work for the C.I.E, my quartermaster gave me this car.
Whataspy: Who is your leader?
Con: P, do wewe know her?
Whataspy: I know her.
Con: Ok. Who were those ponies chasing after you?
Whataspy: They work for someone named Ernst.
Con: Ernst Staverald Discord?
Whataspy: Um, yeah.
Con: That's odd. I have to stop somepony assassinating others that work for Discord, but their names are Miss. Filly, and Miss. Silver.
Whataspy: Oh those lesbians?
Con: Yeah. Maybe I could help wewe with what you're doing, and vice versa.
Whataspy: I would like that.

So they teamed up.

Con had to follow those two ponies that were chasing Whataspy in a different car since they saw his Special.

Thumper: I think were being followed.
Bambi: No were not. Relax were almost there.
Con: These houses are nice.

The two soon went into their house, and Con teleported into it

Bambi: We have someone intruding!
Con: No I'm not, I just thought I could ask some questions.
Thumper: *hits Con*
Con: Catch me if wewe can earth ponies *teleports to swimming pool*
Bambi: Where did he go?
Thumper: Who cares? We don't have to worry about him anymore.
Bambi: What if he's still inside?
Con: They have an indoor pool?!
Bambi: I told wewe so.

Both mares went running to where Con was.

Con: *grabs gun*
mares: *run at him*
Con: *shoots Bambi*
Thumper: *hits Con*
Con: *drops gun*
Bambi: *grabs lamp*
Fenix: Where does she live?
Whataspy: I don't know, but Con is dealing with them.
Fenix: Con Mane? We gotta hurry now!
germans: *run*
Bambi: *hits con with lamp*
Con: *falls on floor*
Bambi & Thumper: *throw him into pool*
Con: Wwhhooaaa
Bambi & Thumper: *jump in*
Con: *swimming*
Bambi & Thumper: *drown Con*
Con: *comes up out of water*
Fenix: *runs in*
Con: *drowns mares*

And as soon as the two were being drowned Fenix got closer with other ponies carrying guns.

Con: Hello Fenix.
Fenix: Where's Bambi & Thumper?
Con: Right here *pulls them out of water*
Fenix: wewe two are underarrest for murder.
Bambi: Oh great!
Fenix: Thanks for your help Con.
Con: NP, but who sent you?
Fenix: Whataspy. Now she's heading toward Discord's base.
Con: I have to get there now!

Bambi & Thumper got arrested, so Con & Whataspy continued, in Con's car again.

Con: Where is Discord's base?
Whataspy: On a oil rig west of here.
Cop 4: Hey, it's that car we've been chasing yesterday!
Cop 1: Let's get it!
Con: Cops, great!
Whataspy: Keep driving. *grabs gun*
Con: WHAT ARE wewe DOING?!
Whataspy: *shoots cops*
Cop 1: We need zaidi officers, pronto!
Con: I got an idea *hits self destruct button*
Whataspy: What's that for?
Con: Trust me. *teleports away*
Cop 1: There it is.
Cop 4: They're gone. Set up a parking boot.

But the car blew up. Con & Whataspy however, were in a worse situation.

astronaut: Get out of that moon buggy!
Con: I teleported with magic. How was I supposed to know I'd land in a moon buggy?
FBI pony: Whataspy? What's going on?
Whataspy: I was trying to stop him.
Con: No! We were going after Discord, and got here kwa mistake!
FBI pony: A likely story, you're both underarrest!
Con: No were not! *drives away*
FBI pony: All units, Whataspy has betrayed us. She's with another gppony, pony that just aliiba a moonbuggy. Permission to shoot on sight!
NASA ponies: *chasing after Con*
Con: wewe still got my gun?
Whataspy: Yup *shoots tires of FBI's car*
FBI pony14: *spins out into sand dune*
Con: Now we just gotta get to that oil rig!

And with zaidi magic, they did.

korean pony72: We have intruders!
Con: *kills korean* Never mind! It's arr crear!
Whataspy: What are wewe doing?
Con: Talking like a korean would.
Discord: tsk tsk, If there is one thing I hate, it's a racist pony.
Con: Then wewe know why wewe should not have koreans.
Discord: They mean business unlike you.
Con: If they mean business, can they do this? *teleports to other side of rig*
Discord: They could kill wewe from here!
Con: Then I can kill wewe from here *grabs gun*
Discord: *jumps into air*
Con: *pulls trigger* Crap! I have to reload.
Discord: *hits Con*
Whataspy: Nno! *slaps Discord*
Discord: *hits Whataspy* Miss. Filly, Miss. Silver! Over here now!
Miss Filly: What is it? We were just about to make out.
Discord: God, I hate you, uhh take these two to the train. I'll meet wewe there.
Con: The train?
Discord: Amtrak's finest. You'll be going from San Fransiccolt to St. Foalis.
Con: I've never heard of Amtrak.
Discord: They started operations about a week ago, and everypony prefers to ride their trains, instead of any of the others.
Miss. Silver: Every passenger car is a double decker
Con: Great. Sounds like my kind of train.
Miss. Filly: And were looking mbele to doing a threesome with another mare.
Whataspy: Oh.. My.. *shakes nervously*
Miss. Filly: Don't be scared, it'll only take about 10 minutes.
Whataspy: Yeah, I don't go that way.
Miss. Silver: You're not a lesbian?
Whataspy: No!
Discord: Oh for the upendo of celestia! Just get them on the train!!

40 dakika later, they arrived.

The train left San Franciscolt, with Con, and his enemies on board.

Whataspy: How do we get out of here?
Discord: wewe can't. If wewe use magic, I'll kill wewe before wewe escape.
Con: What if the magic isn't for escaping?
Miss. Filly: What's that supposed to mean?
Miss: Silver: Yeah. *grabs Whataspy*
Whataspy: I told wewe I don't like lesbians. And you're both Fillies!
Con: This is too much.
Discord: Don't die yet. Wait until I get wewe to St. Foalis.
Con: NO *hits Discord*
Miss. Silver: ooh. They're gonna go all the way.
Discord: *grabs gun*
Con: *grabs gun* Does this look like going all the way?!
Miss. Silver: Hhmmmm.
Miss. Filly: Take off your clothes, and do it.
Whataspy: wewe two, need to shut up.
Discord: *shoots toward Whataspy*
Con: Sorry!
Whataspy: Con! *kicks Discord*
Con: *kills Discord* Come on!
Miss. Silver: Hey! That's our mare!
Con: Nope, she's mine! *teleports off train*
Miss. Filly: What do we do now?
Miss. Silver: Trick them.

Con & Whataspy were on a luxury cruise liner heading across the pacific.

Whataspy: I thought we'd be dead.
Con: With me, not a chance.
waitress: Here wewe are wewe two. *activates bomb*
Whataspy: Ooh, Spareribs.
Miss. Filly: On fire! *lights spare ribs*
Miss. Silver: We tricked you!
Con: *stabs Miss. Silver with fiery ribs*
Whataspy: *throws her off boat*
Miss. Filly: Oh, my girlfriend. you're strong.
Con: *breaks Miss. Filly's neck*
Whataspy: Good thing they're dead.
Con: Yeah, the same with Discord. Hopefully he doesn't come back to life again.

And so, the two ponies continued riding the mashua toward the sunset. Relaxing, and probably playing shuffleboard against some crazy old ponies.

The End

Con Mane will return in The Mare With The Golden Gun.