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uandishi Swali

I wrote this in fiev minutes, is it good?

We were asked t barua pepe our teacher and best few get snickers, so I sent this, it had the actual names but I changed them fr privacy reasons:
Mrs Hoffer and Jacob Black
One boring afternoon, Mrs Hoffer was marking some assessments handed in kwa those rebels of a class, 10H. She was getting fairly tired, grumpy and just wanted zaidi coffee, she was just wondering if the only other teacher in this block (Mr Smith) would get her some zaidi when the smell of it drifted in. Looking up at the door, she had to hide a squeal of excitement, for standing in the doorway was Jacob Black, and even better, he was topless. He walked over to her dawati and placed on it, the coffee; she stopped marking the assessments, and just chatted with Jacob. She was having some fun when the assessments glared up at her; she started multi-tasking talking and working. When they were marked she yawned, Jacob told her to rest her head and kissed her on the forehead.
She woke with a start to the sound of knocking. It was Mr Smith bringing her a coffee, when he placed it on her dawati he asked, “Are wewe alright?” Mrs Hoffer replied saying she was just talking to Jacob Black. He raised an eyebrow, confused she looked around; disappointed she sighed it was just a dream. Leaving he gave her a look that clearly alisema he thought she was cra-zay; sighing again she took a sip of the coffee and marked the assessments.
The inayofuata siku before she handed out the assessments she told about what had happened the awali night. Quinn piped up at the end and said, “That look Mr Smith gave you, he gives me that all the time.”

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I would hariri the mistakes if I could.
Potter-rulez posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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*five
sideshowbobbart posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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I did say i would if i would COULD but i can't
Potter-rulez posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 Potter-rulez posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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uandishi Majibu

hgfan5602 said:
A couple of punctuation errors, but that is not a big deal. wewe should go zaidi in depth and description with your writing, otherwise, this is very nice!!!
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Thanks my teacher thought so too
Potter-rulez posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
sideshowbobbart said:
For a five dakika text, yes I would say it is very good. I would like to see some wewe took zaidi time to do though.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
Sutelc22 said:
i like your story.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
Alexa11789 said:
It's alright...
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
ZekiYuro said:
Actually this uandishi has nothing special,but because wewe wrote it just for 5 minutes,so I can say 1 word about this:Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!Keep on writing!!!!!!!!:))
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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