Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s zaidi to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do wewe mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call wewe Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would wewe describe your relationship with the man known as...

Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought wewe guys might too, :)
And yeah, it's not ALL Death Eaters, but they're all Slytherins, :P

Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow nyota indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer...

I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, wewe know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. wewe throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. wewe wear at least some black every day.

3. wewe rip your clothes on purpose.

4. wewe call people wewe don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. wewe yell "CRUCIO!" at people when wewe get mad.

6. wewe carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" au an "L", wewe accidentally type out a Bellatrix au a Lestrange instead.

9. wewe think her birthday should...

Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate inayofuata to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him wewe aliiba his teddy bear.

8. Tell him wewe won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him wewe were just kidding and alisema teddy kubeba has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...

Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.


1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, wewe got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than wewe look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for wewe now!!" *Prepare yourself kwa getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did wewe say something?"

5. "Why do you...