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Hi, All. I've tried to avoid uandishi makala for a long while, mostly because I'm busier, and secondly, because it takes forever to explain the "why" behind statements.
Today, because I am bored I'm going to stick with trying to examine my impressions of each of the DP movies, and their princesses, (with a sidebar about the princes). This is the first makala in a series of 13 articles. (Disclaimer: These are just my opinions, mind you, and not completely shared kwa everyone. My life experiences have colored my perspectives on each princess, so the take-away message is that my opinions are my opinions. Please kubeba in mind that wewe did not have the exact same experiences that I did). We are all unique individuals. Everyone here is entitled to what they think. I am entitled to the impressions I have, and to what I think about each movie. Please respect my thoughts. I respect that your opinions will differ considerably from mine. That is a given. Here goes nothing... :) )

Frozen: I basically watched a cam rip of this movie when it first came out before watching it again the sekunde time. I could not wait, because the advance buzz was deafening. The first watch was a letdown, and not because the picture was fuzzy. Frozen did not improve upon rewatch (except for the fact that I ended up liking Anna a bit more). I guess the premise of the movie just doesn't have enough "meat" to make a whole chajio, chakula cha jioni for me. The story itself is very thin. Two sisters, one with powers, the other with none, are separated as little girls after an accident involving one sibling hitting the other sibling with ice. The alarmed parents visit some dubious trolls who provide dubious advice, which effectively scares the parents even more. There is no proper explanation aliyopewa to the parents on how to correctly interpret what the trolls say, which CAUSES the whole plot to unfold the way it does. The even zaidi hysterically frightened parents make a foolish decision to lock up both their kids in the castle. The oldest girl, Elsa, (with the ice powers), becomes a shut-in with extremely low self-esteem, and she develops a bleak outlook on life and a sour, wamekula demeanor. The younger girl, Anna, develops an attention-craving personality, because the parents were so fixated on her older sister, and neglected her. This all leads up to the siku the parents die in a shipwreck (oh, how terribly convenient Disney), and the oldest girl is coronated the new queen. Elsa is understandably terrified out of her mind to be aliyopewa such a responsibility (since I did not see any of the council members reassuring her, I had to surmise this). Elsa is also horrified that her powers will be exposed (since her parents were so very strict about her being the black kondoo of the family with the dark secret). For Elsa this must be the manifestation of all of her nightmares. Ah, well. C’est la vie...

Elsa is crowned while wearing gloves ( a makeshift operation to curtail the release of her ice powers), and then the coronation ball takes place, where Elsa meets Anna for the first time in...forever. Literally. Okay. The girls bond over liking chokoleti but not much else. Anna feels little connection with her sister. So Anna goes and finds Hans, the guy she met just earlier that afternoon, before the coronation. Hans is an opportunist, and thinks "his fate" has fallen into his lap. He gets Anna alone outside of the coronation party, and tells her that he will marry her right then ( which was a really BIG tip-off that his character was either 1) a pervert, 2) a potential serial killer/thug, au 3) a usurper?) Never mind, but all of the prior Disney princes tried to first befriend the princess, and then spent "some" time with their crushes, BEFORE vowing to marry them. Every last one of them did this! I already knew Hans was bad kwa this action alone. Yawn).

Anna is naive, and clearly received no parental input au any council advice during her lockdown days. She says yes, immediately, and both present this idea to Elsa. Elsa, already panicked out of her mind, scoffs at the idea and utters the now infamous line, "You can't marry a man wewe just met." (Now this is where my enjoyment of the movie first started to go downhill. This line was meant to be refreshing--- but what actually went through my head, was that Disney had chosen to openly mock and/or discredit the actions of all of their prior Disney princesses. That works out to be zaidi than half of the current Disney Princess line of eleven gals. Why? Were any of the prior DPs necessarily bad girls for finding love? No, they weren't. Really, some of them just weren't guy-crazy. Some others didn't even bother looking for upendo at all, and it found them instead (which stayed pretty true to actual life!) I began to feel quite cynical toward Frozen.... The Disney magic spell that Frozen cast was barely holding my attention-span up until this moment, and it instantly evaporated forthwith. Sans magic, I continued watching...)

So Anna does not buy what Elsa says, they have a girl fight, during which Anna rips off one of Elsa's gloves. This startles Elsa enough to get her to release her powers. The coronation crowd sees the ice and flies into hysterics, and calls Elsa "a witch/monster." Elsa flees for the mountains and abdicates the throne. Anna is dismayed, and shoves the kiti cha enzi at Hans, so she can take off after her sister. Hans is literally so happy he could dance a jig at this point. Oh, right, my brain thinks. He is number 3. He is the usurper. He agrees to watch over things...big fat LOL.

Elsa heads into the mountains. Elsa's unresolved anger over her repressive upbringing surfaces in her, and leads her to decide to build her own castle. She has decided to live life out in the wilderness without any human companionship. After completing her castle, Elsa struts around in her new residence. She revels in the freedom from having no constraints placed on her whatsoever. She is gifted. She will use her gift. Elsa gives the proverbial finger to everyone else.

It is suggested in the movie, that Elsa building her ice ngome means that she releases her powers with far reaching consequences... Elsa literally froze everything in sight, including Arendelle
(where she grew up). kwa this point in the movie, I can recall thinking that I REALLY wished Elsa had bumped into Dr. Xavier, instead. Now that, would have been all
kinds of awesome. Clearly, I wasn't the only one with this idea. When "How Frozen Should Have Ended" came out, I laughed so hard I cried.

But back to the original broadcast: As the camera zooms out and leaves Elsa dithering in her ice castle, it settles on Anna, who is desperately trying to find Elsa. On her way, Anna runs into Kristoff , a loner, who has some misogynistic ideas about females. Kristoff makes a living selling ice. Kristoff doesn't like Anna, and thinks she's a halfwit. (The inayofuata section of the movie is watching these two bicker. Yawn. Oh, Kristoff thinks Anna is rushing things with Hans? Well, la de da. Thanks for being Mr. Obvious, dude). Insert some lame Mbwa mwitu loups chasing after them to make things exciting again? Why does that feel like such a cop out?

Anna and Kristoff then bump into a snowman with lungs. This snowman sings a snowman song about--- summer--- of all things! Odd. Just odd. But funny, because the rest of the movie simply just isn't, wewe know-- funny?

Kristoff and Anna finally reach Elsa's residence. Anna makes Kristoff wait outside. (Yes. You're sidelined, dude. It’s time for wewe to wait a bit, defensive quarterback. wewe pulled on someone's headgear).

Anna goes in, with the snowman trailing her. Elsa is surprised /horrified to see her sister. She is baffled kwa the fact that the snowman she created when they were both kids is alive (oh yes, the snowman is the tie between the sisters! Weird). Speaking of, Elsa decides she wants Anna out of there, and away from her house. Anna proceeds to reason with her, and even tells her older sister that she froze the whole nation of Arendelle. Say, what? Elsa becomes completely spooked kwa this news, and flat out refuses to come back. Anna sings a song about reuniting with her sister, and Elsa sings about how afraid she is of her powers, and how she will never return. Since Anna won't stop singing, Elsa finally loses it, and "has at it" with her temper. She shoots her sister with ice for the sekunde time. This freezes Anna's heart. (Oh, yes, the vaguely monastic song sung back in the beginning of the movie was something about a frozen heart. Seems it was Elsa's... since she has a moyo of ice when interacting with her own sister. I had a mixed reaction when Elsa first gave the proverbial finger to the world. But okay. I fully understood that she was royally pissed off at her parents. Understandable. But Girl, you're on my bad side now. Earlier, wewe whined and whined about how wewe did not want to expose your powers, and how wewe so much DID NOT WANT to hurt anyone!!! All your sister was doing, kwa coming way the heck out here, was hoping to reconcile her differences and reason with you.... But how do wewe act? wewe declare that wewe can't do anything about the winter wewe caused, and then wewe turn right around and hurt your sis? The first time was an accident. wewe were just a kid. This time? wewe knew better. It's NOT a bloody accident. Elsa, wewe have no self-control. I'm beginning to not like you...)

Elsa is angry enough, au provoked enough, kwa Anna's presence to create a snowmaggedon monster to chase her sister off of the premises. Kristoff has the sense enough to haul Anna, forcibly, out the door. Anna is angry at her sister (as is her right because of her AWFUL treatment), and proceeds to throw snowballs at the snow monster ( Marshmellow). It struck me that that was an odd name for a monster that is not sweet in the least, and is a manifestation of Elsa's anger issues. But this movie was full of odd elements thrown in, half-hazardly.

Marshmellow chases Anna, Olaf ( the snowman with lungs), and Kristoff off a cliff. Kristoff then decides to take Anna, who is growing sick from the ice in her chest, to see his troll parents... Troll parents? Oh, yes. It turns out Kristoff was an orphan and he and his reindeer ( Sven) were adopted kwa the trolls --- the very same trolls who dispensed such sagely ludicrous advice to Elsa and Anna's parents, all those years ago. Mmm. This is getting rather far-fetched, even kwa my low standards. I thrive on suspending my disbelief, since all the vitabu I normally read are in the ndoto genre. But this smacked of just plain bila mpangilio screenwriting....

Anyhow, Kristoff wakes up his kin, and tries to tell them why he brought Anna with him--- but the trolls miss the beat. The trolls misconstrue that Kristoff has brought nyumbani a bride. HUH???? Oooo...kay. Then, when Anna says she can't marry and is already engaged to someone else (that being Hans), the trolls POINTEDLY ignore her, and go on and on about how Anna should upendo Kristoff, instead. Talk about playing a game of "Telephone." The message here was very distorted, if there was a message at all. Yes, people have flaws (don't we all?), but breaking up existing relationships is the new "it" thing to do in the Disney universe? Well, aliyopewa that Hans is a real jerk, it might ( might) be totally fine kwa me because of what I know.... But in the real world? Nah. That bleep won't fly. Stealing one's boyfriend au girlfriend, and thus destroying their relationship is not green-lit, yet.

Meanwhile, back at the Arendelle ranch, Hans has decided to find Elsa and haul her back to the area, because of the blizzard conditions she has created. So he and his goons go find Elsa’s castle. Once they arrive, a pissed off Elsa shoots ice again, and freezes people in piles of ice. But Hans cleverly knocks her out with one of her ice chandeliers. Hans takes Elsa back to Arendelle.

Just when the troll imba starts to verge on nails on a chalkboard, Anna starts to wilt, thanks to the ice in her chest, and collapses. Kristoff scoops her up and dashes off, meaning to deliver her to Hans, since Anna believes that "true loves kiss," a trope as old as Sleeping Beauty, will solve all her problems and heal her. We see a montage of Kristoff riding Sven pell-mell for Arendelle, with Anna in his arms.

Anna ends up in Arendelle, and meets up with Hans. Hans takes her to a back room and basically unmasks his motives (which were blatantly obvious to anyone who had been thoroughly watching the movie for this long). So Hans tells Anna she is "unlovable." Jerk. But, alas. This is what wewe get, now that Disney has established a new trope: the new Disney prince iterations will be either dumbasses like in Brave, jerks who want to take over a la Hans, au moody and perceptibly misogynistic introverts like Kristoff. I don't like the prince slumming idea. It's just...you can find plenty of it in males all over the world. How is that entertaining? Prior Disney princes strove for better habits, and to improve themselves in the eyes of their princess. These new guys seem content to stay right the way they are. Also, the "let's-jade-young-boys-and-girls- before-they-ever-so-much-as-encounter-romance" shtick is quite poisonous. It plants the seeds of distrust in young minds all over. Yowch, Disney.

Anyhow, Hans has also locked up Elsa in the dungeon downstairs. He goes down and asks Elsa to unfreeze everything. Ok. While I don’t respect this usurper, he does have shades of common sense. But Elsa’s reply is “I can’t!!!” It’s the same lame response she gave when Anna asked that question. Hans fumes, tells her that she’ll die there until she figures out how to fix things, and leaves.

Upstairs, Anna is getting sicker, because of the ice in her chest and the loss of her hopes. Olaf brightens things kwa building a moto for her---- literally the kindest thing anyone does for anybody in this movie! Olaf then plants the idea in Anna’s mind that Kristoff has a crush on her. (I wasn’t sure how I felt about this sudden romantic-target switcheroo…but I digress). At the moment, out of options, Anna agrees. Olaf helps her out of the ngome of Arendelle, to see if they can find Kristoff and get a “true loves kiss” off of him to heal Anna.

Outside, the blizzard is at its peak because Elsa is free again… How??? Because Elsa blasted a big freaking hole in the ukuta of the dungeon and froze off her chains. Okay. Can I stop right here and ask a set of questions? Elsa supposedly controls the weather better when she is “loved.” So how is it possible for her to summon her powers enough to blast a hole in the ukuta of the dungeon and free herself? Wouldn’t she need upendo to do that? Also, when Elsa is up in the mountains, imba a lonely song about ice, snow, and how she’s been rejected all of her life--- she should not be feeling “loved”---- and therefore should not have the ability to control her ice powers enough to build an ice castle! But this inconsistency is never addressed. Neither is the fact that she can create living things out of snow and ice with a wave of her hand. Where did that come from? Not even the stupid trolls talked about that aspect of her powers….

But back to the story…. Elsa is also wandering out in the blizzard. Kristoff is wandering out in the blizzard, because Sven, his reindeer, has managed to convince him that he can secure Anna’s love. Hans is wandering out in the blizzard looking for Elsa. Okay… where are wewe going with this…?

Elsa sees Hans, the same dakika Hans sees Elsa. Elsa asks where Anna is. Hans sneers and says that she died of her frozen heart, because there was ice in it. Now instead of standing up to Hans and denying everything he has just alisema (after all, this was the same mean guy who came up and literally dragged Elsa back to Arendelle in chains)--- Elsa doesn’t even get angry. Elsa doesn’t even onyesha any residual resentment towards Hans??? Not even a little??? NO. She doesn’t. She just collapses in a puddle of her ice kanzu, gown and begins crying.

All right… I confess that right at this moment, the last ounce of respect I had for Elsa… well, it just…plain…evaporated. Elsa really doesn’t face any of her problems…ever. And whoa, boy, does it show.

Hans decides that with Anna most probably dead, he can just kill Elsa, and have Arendelle outright. In his mind, these are the two stupidest sisters he has ever met. Har, har. The kisu is about to descend into Elsa’s back, when Anna sprints up and steps in Hans's way. The kisu hits Anna, instead. There is a blast of light, and Anna is an ice statue. Literally. Of course, the nice blast of light knocks out Hans for the time being.

Elsa sees Anna is an ice cube and finally grows compassionate for the first time in forever. Elsa comes up to the statue, in tears, and hugs the ice statue of her sister. Elsa actually having some compassion and finally inaonyesha some upendo toward Anna causes Anna to thaw. (Elsa, it is about bloody time! That’s what went through my head).

With Anna alive and not dead, Kristoff "as a hero” is no longer needed--- so he just stands there, albeit awkwardly. Nice job, Disney. Why did wewe have him in the movie anyway?

Hans wakes up, and Elsa shouts, "It’s love!!!” upendo being the cure to all of the mismanagement of her powers. She will be able to control them, now, with upendo ( except for those instances where she is seen controlling her powers in the absence of love…but we won’t read too deeply into that). The thaw completely sweeps over Arendelle. Anna punches Hans for being a douche and a murderous usurper. Hans is chained up in a ship to be transported back to his large mass of siblings who will probably discredit his punda for the rest of his life, yadda, yadda.

The townspeople of Arendelle forgive Elsa. Just…like…that. Anna isn’t shown going up on a soap box and making a big statement for why the people of Arendelle should forgive Elsa. No. That would be too much like common sense. Disney doesn’t explain why the people of Arendelle just forgive Elsa straight out, but they do. Hmmm.

Anna promised Kristoff a new sled if he would help her find her sister. So she keeps her word
(good little Anna who seems like the little red engine who could), and Kristoff is so happy he asks for a kiss. (My brain was thinking… wait. She doesn’t really even love/like him yet…does she? Maybe, she just feels guilty for dragging Kristoff into all of this. And then there are no other single guys available, right now, so...that’s a possible reason, too. Sigh).

Elsa makes a tiny snow wingu so Olaf won’t melt. Okay. That’s cheesy, but not necessarily bad.
But then Elsa turns right around and makes it winter all over again, so that there is a skating rink? Really? We spent the whole movie being upset about the icy conditions, and now we’re all positive about ice and snow? This scene gave me whiplash. It was totally random, came out of nowhere, and made me think that all sense of logic had left the screenwriter’s (Jennifer Lee’s) mind.

Anyhow, the picture zooms out and shows Arendelle people skating and rejoicing. Anna and Elsa skate together, with Olaf skidding by…and "The End" is plastered in large print to the screen.

Impressions: Overall, this movie is inconsistent and random. Nothing logically follows anything, because everything feels arbitrary.

The Princesses: I have mixed feelings about them, and it is practically a mwaka later. Short answer is that I can take Anna in small doses, but I’ll never want to watch Elsa on screen, again.

The Princes: I don’t like where Disney is going with the “princes are actually assholes” idea. It won’t serve Disney well in the long run to slam half of the human race into the ground and stamp on them.

The Villain: the villain now seems to be a composite of the trolls, the parents, Elsa’s powers, and Hans.

The Comic Relief: Olaf is a sweetheart, but even he can't rescue every morose scene in this movie. That's too much to ask.

The music: Pretty much mediocre. For me, it's definitely the worst set of Disney song lyrics I’ve ever heard compiled into one Disney Princess movie. I definitely feel like the Lopezs’s should stick to Broadway, where they really do shine. (I actually liked the muziki in Tangled, Brave, and The Princess and The Frog far better).

The visuals: The backgrounds keep getting richer and nicer. Peoples’ skin is looking zaidi and zaidi plastic-like. I don’t know what the heck is going wrong with the skin on people, but it looks weird.

Voice Acting: I think it needs significant improvement. Anna’s voice is okay, because she’s supposed to sound young and derpy. Elsa’s voice is a monotone so much of the time, and she sounds way older than 21.

The Plot: The plot is arbitrary to the point of no return. After a while, I stopped trying to make sense out of the things that went down. I’m sure I Lost some brains cells that were Frozen off. Bad pun. So freeze me, lol.

The soundtrack: Nothing stands out, here, either.

Re-watch: I’m probably not interested. And that’s extremely sad in my view, because this is the first Disney Princess movie where I totally feel that way.

inayofuata time on Disney Rewind: The Disney Princess Edition...

Bears!!! We’re going to talk about all of those bears!!!!*

*Sorry, for such a long read. I hope it wasn’t horrible. I hope wewe can even stand to be back inayofuata time. wewe can maoni below. Please have a nice day!
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