I love the exchange between Jayne and Wash:

Jayne:Do you know what the chain of command is?It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here.

or

"What'd ya'll order a dead guy for?"

I can't remember what the lines were, but when Mal was wearing his 'pretty little bonnet', I think Jayne had me LMAO with his comments.
I'm either going to have to go a rewatch these soon, or check out the scripts online. Sometimes just reading them has me cracking up.
Joss sure knows how to pick talented writers, actors, etc!

Is that from 'Our Mrs. Reynolds', where they fight the bandits and Mal is in the dress?

I adore that episode. Especially when Inara asks Mal 'Why wasn't Zoe in the dress?' and he replies 'Needed her in back.'

Can't remember if that's the name of it, but by your description, that's the one! I would have wanted Zoe in back too! ...and besides that, if she would have been in front, Jayne couldn't have said something like "I married me a powerful ugly woman".

MAL
How can you say that? How can you
shame me in front of new people?

JAYNE
If I could make you prettier, I would.

MAL
You're not the man I met a year ago.

I love the Jayne reading Simons diary bit - "Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we got kidnapped by hillfolk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

I was watching that one last night. How utterly brilliant!

I love the one from Serenity:

"I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight… If he bothers me, or if there's a woman… Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid."

Oo, what about in the pilot where Mal & Jayne are talking about interrogating the lawman.

Mal: "You only gotta scare him"
Jayne: "Pain is scary"

Lol, another one in the pilot where Mal punches Simon and Jayne just goes "Saw that coming.", shrugs and walks away. Hee!

I love this one from "Objects In Space"

Jayne: So... she's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: So she's in Congress?

I like that one. I think it is safe to say that I adore every word that comes out of Jayne's mouth. I love his exchanges with Mal; they have a great chemistry and suit each other so well.



Jayne: "Testing, testing. Captain, can you hear me?"
Mal: "I'm standing right here."
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: " 'Cause I'm standing right here."

I do love them together, they play off each other so well, like in the pilot where Jayne is with the Fed.

Mal:I've given Jayne here the job of
finding out.

Jayne pulls out a big-ass knife.

Jayne: He was not specific as to how.

-----------------------------------------­

And when Jayne is talking to the Fed, his facial expressions get me every time!

Jayne: I ain't gonna kill you, Dobson -- what's your first name?
Fed: Laurence.
Jayne: Laurence, I'm just gonna cut on ya' til you tell me how much they know.
Fed: They know everything. Every name, every record -- they know how many nosehairs you've got.
Jayne: (genuinely disappointed) Oh, see -- they don't know a damn thing. It's all over your face and I ain't even... I was gonna get me an ear. Aren't you an officer of the law, don't they teach you how to....you know, withstand interrogation? Can't even tell a damn lie.
Fed: Okay. I can see you're not an idiot.
Jayne: Wish I could say the same, Laurence, but this is disappointing as hell

A favorite of mine is from Serenity:

Mal: Jayne, I don't plan on any shooting taking place.

Jayne: Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.

In shindig when they are all looking at the dresses in the shop and kaylee really wants one but mal is getting pissed off about the time they are wasting and the heavy stuff he is carrying-

Mal: What are you gonna do in that rig? Flounce around the engine room? It'll be like a sheep walking on its hind legs

Jayne: <laughs>

Zoe: <looks angrily at mal, takes his bag> See you on the ship, captain

<everyone but mal and jayne get on the mule and drive off>

Jayne: Is she mad or somethin?