The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic upinde wa mvua as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Special guest stars Nikki West as Nikki East, and Larry Wilcox as Nicholas McWalker
Corporal Vanderbilt was handing everypony letters. Everypony was standing in formation.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Dobbs a letter* Here wewe are Duffy.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't Duffy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Sarge.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't O' Rourke either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Agarn a letter* Here wewe go Dobbs.
Corporal Agarn: I'm Agarn Vanderbilt! wewe already gave Dobbs his letter!
Corporal Dobbs: *Reads his letter* Oh no.
Corporal Agarn: Must be terrible news.
Corporal Dobbs: They won't be able to repair my bugle, buruji until inayofuata week!
Corporal Agarn: I take it back. It's not bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Reads his letter* Dear Randolph. wewe spend too much time in the army. If wewe don't get discharged soon, I will divorce you. Nikki East. My wife wants to divorce me!
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* What's wrong Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: My wife wants to divorce me unless I'm discharged.
Captain Parmenter: wewe must be really upset about this.
Corporal Agarn: I'm not. I'm angry! I want to go-
Captain Parmenter: Please don't say it.
Corporal Agarn: On...
Captain Parmenter: Okay, you're not gonna listen to me. Never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: A... *Causes an explosion behind him* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
He went with Sargent O' Rourke to Nikki's house.
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, and kisses him* Did wewe get discharged?
Corporal Agarn: Not yet.
Nikki: Well why not?
Corporal Agarn: It's much zaidi complicated then wewe think it is.
Nicholas: *Arrives* Darling, who is this?
Nikki: This is my husband, Randolph.
Corporal Agarn: *Points at Nicholas* And who are you, might I ask?!
Nicholas: A friend. Nicholas McWalker.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hey. Are wewe Irish just like me?
Nicholas: Yes. It should be obvious kwa the mc in my last name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: If wewe don't get discharged, I'll divorce you, and marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: But honey, it takes a long time to get discharged. I'm not in control of it. If I was, that would be great, because I really don't wanna deal with Dobbs, and his bugle.
Sargent O' Rourke: It was damaged. Remember?
Corporal Agarn: Oh yeah. I was too busy being angry to remember.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: The point is, Corporal Agarn loves wewe just as much as wewe upendo him. wewe shouldn't let his career get in the way of your love. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna spend time with you.
Corporal Agarn: But we weren't far away. We just had to walk for half a minute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I had to make it sound romantic.
Corporal Agarn: Being far away does not make anything romantic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Has a tear come out of her eye* Very touching. Randolph, your Sargent is right. I won't divorce wewe to marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: Oh, good.
Nikki: Instead, I'll divorce wewe to marry Sargent O' Rourke!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Sargent! I thought we were working together on this!
Sargent O' Rourke: Sorry. I did everything I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle, buruji poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning wewe Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's The Movie Studio
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic upinde wa mvua as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Special guest stars Nikki West as Nikki East, and Larry Wilcox as Nicholas McWalker
Corporal Vanderbilt was handing everypony letters. Everypony was standing in formation.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Dobbs a letter* Here wewe are Duffy.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't Duffy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Sarge.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't O' Rourke either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Agarn a letter* Here wewe go Dobbs.
Corporal Agarn: I'm Agarn Vanderbilt! wewe already gave Dobbs his letter!
Corporal Dobbs: *Reads his letter* Oh no.
Corporal Agarn: Must be terrible news.
Corporal Dobbs: They won't be able to repair my bugle, buruji until inayofuata week!
Corporal Agarn: I take it back. It's not bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Reads his letter* Dear Randolph. wewe spend too much time in the army. If wewe don't get discharged soon, I will divorce you. Nikki East. My wife wants to divorce me!
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* What's wrong Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: My wife wants to divorce me unless I'm discharged.
Captain Parmenter: wewe must be really upset about this.
Corporal Agarn: I'm not. I'm angry! I want to go-
Captain Parmenter: Please don't say it.
Corporal Agarn: On...
Captain Parmenter: Okay, you're not gonna listen to me. Never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: A... *Causes an explosion behind him* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
He went with Sargent O' Rourke to Nikki's house.
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, and kisses him* Did wewe get discharged?
Corporal Agarn: Not yet.
Nikki: Well why not?
Corporal Agarn: It's much zaidi complicated then wewe think it is.
Nicholas: *Arrives* Darling, who is this?
Nikki: This is my husband, Randolph.
Corporal Agarn: *Points at Nicholas* And who are you, might I ask?!
Nicholas: A friend. Nicholas McWalker.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hey. Are wewe Irish just like me?
Nicholas: Yes. It should be obvious kwa the mc in my last name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: If wewe don't get discharged, I'll divorce you, and marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: But honey, it takes a long time to get discharged. I'm not in control of it. If I was, that would be great, because I really don't wanna deal with Dobbs, and his bugle.
Sargent O' Rourke: It was damaged. Remember?
Corporal Agarn: Oh yeah. I was too busy being angry to remember.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: The point is, Corporal Agarn loves wewe just as much as wewe upendo him. wewe shouldn't let his career get in the way of your love. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna spend time with you.
Corporal Agarn: But we weren't far away. We just had to walk for half a minute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I had to make it sound romantic.
Corporal Agarn: Being far away does not make anything romantic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Has a tear come out of her eye* Very touching. Randolph, your Sargent is right. I won't divorce wewe to marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: Oh, good.
Nikki: Instead, I'll divorce wewe to marry Sargent O' Rourke!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Sargent! I thought we were working together on this!
Sargent O' Rourke: Sorry. I did everything I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle, buruji poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning wewe Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's The Movie Studio
LATER:
Airbourne: And that's why wewe should let my client go..
Judge : Please sir your client Master Sword has been caught robbing a blank with a stolen police car... And all wewe did was onyesha up, sit down, and say "that's why wewe should let him go"..
Airbourne: ...... I'll give wewe twenty bucks.
Judge: DONE! (pounds hammer).
LATER AGAIN:
Master Sword: See, told wewe my friend will get us out.
Saten: I guess... He creeps me out though.. He kept asking for an dirty picture of Twilight..
Master Sword: Oh yeah. Same way I have one for your Derpy
Saten: (angrily) WHAT!?
Master Sword: Yeah, have it over my wall-
Saten: (punches Sword in the face).
Master Sword: (holding his bloody nose) still worth it!
That's all I got, so end of episode.
Airbourne: And that's why wewe should let my client go..
Judge : Please sir your client Master Sword has been caught robbing a blank with a stolen police car... And all wewe did was onyesha up, sit down, and say "that's why wewe should let him go"..
Airbourne: ...... I'll give wewe twenty bucks.
Judge: DONE! (pounds hammer).
LATER AGAIN:
Master Sword: See, told wewe my friend will get us out.
Saten: I guess... He creeps me out though.. He kept asking for an dirty picture of Twilight..
Master Sword: Oh yeah. Same way I have one for your Derpy
Saten: (angrily) WHAT!?
Master Sword: Yeah, have it over my wall-
Saten: (punches Sword in the face).
Master Sword: (holding his bloody nose) still worth it!
That's all I got, so end of episode.
Pinkamena: (winds up in a dark cave, gloating to herself about never having been caught).
Unfortunately for her, Shining Armor, wanting revenge for poor Twilight, and all the other victims (but mostly Twilight), followed her.
Without warning, Shining Armor began beating the living crap out of her.
Shining Armor: (suddenly stops after punching her face for a full 20 minutes) Wait! Wait! One zaidi ngumi, punch will kill you!.. And I won't kill you.
Pinkamena: (nearly dead but somehow still smiling) That somehow means I win!.. I kill.. Go to jail.. Break out.. Kill again!.. Instand revers-
Shining Armor: (annoyed) yes, yes. It's an endless cycle.. But I sore to let the court do their work.. What to do.. (thinking) Hmmmmmm.
To be containued