From an barua pepe I got.
HELL EXPLAINED kwa CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual swali aliyopewa on a chuo kikuu, chuo kikuu cha of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer kwa one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) au endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) au some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if wewe are not a member of their religion, wewe will go to Hell. Since there is zaidi than one of these religions and since people do not belong to zaidi than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate aliyopewa to me kwa Teresa during my Freshman mwaka that, 'It will be a cold siku in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any zaidi souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
HELL EXPLAINED kwa CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual swali aliyopewa on a chuo kikuu, chuo kikuu cha of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer kwa one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) au endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) au some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if wewe are not a member of their religion, wewe will go to Hell. Since there is zaidi than one of these religions and since people do not belong to zaidi than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate aliyopewa to me kwa Teresa during my Freshman mwaka that, 'It will be a cold siku in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any zaidi souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
From an email.
THE LIFE CYCLE
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
wewe should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, wewe wake up in an old age nyumbani feeling better every day.
wewe get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when wewe start work, wewe get a dhahabu watch on your first day.
wewe work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
wewe drink alcohol, wewe party, you're generally promiscuous and wewe get ready for High School.
wewe go to primary school, wewe become a kid , wewe play, wewe have no responsibilities, wewe become a baby, and then...
wewe spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, wewe finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
THE LIFE CYCLE
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
wewe should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, wewe wake up in an old age nyumbani feeling better every day.
wewe get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when wewe start work, wewe get a dhahabu watch on your first day.
wewe work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
wewe drink alcohol, wewe party, you're generally promiscuous and wewe get ready for High School.
wewe go to primary school, wewe become a kid , wewe play, wewe have no responsibilities, wewe become a baby, and then...
wewe spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, wewe finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
"The will of strength is of lesser value to man than the strengt of will."
"One loss can be many gained."
"Confusion and swali brings insight and intelligence."
"It takes a great deal of intelligence to reach the top. It takes an even greater deal of wisdom, however, to remain at the top."
"Fear can turn even the most gentle of men into the most barbaric of brutes."
"The very passion which serves as the great flame of courage, strength, and determination can also serve as a poison to the soul."
"A life without pain is not a life at all."
"One loss can be many gained."
"Confusion and swali brings insight and intelligence."
"It takes a great deal of intelligence to reach the top. It takes an even greater deal of wisdom, however, to remain at the top."
"Fear can turn even the most gentle of men into the most barbaric of brutes."
"The very passion which serves as the great flame of courage, strength, and determination can also serve as a poison to the soul."
"A life without pain is not a life at all."
From an barua pepe I got.
HELL EXPLAINED kwa CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual swali aliyopewa on a chuo kikuu, chuo kikuu cha of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer kwa one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) au endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) au some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if wewe are not a member of their religion, wewe will go to Hell. Since there is zaidi than one of these religions and since people do not belong to zaidi than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate aliyopewa to me kwa Teresa during my Freshman mwaka that, 'It will be a cold siku in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any zaidi souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
HELL EXPLAINED kwa CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual swali aliyopewa on a chuo kikuu, chuo kikuu cha of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer kwa one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) au endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) au some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if wewe are not a member of their religion, wewe will go to Hell. Since there is zaidi than one of these religions and since people do not belong to zaidi than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate aliyopewa to me kwa Teresa during my Freshman mwaka that, 'It will be a cold siku in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any zaidi souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.