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posted by vanillaicecream
So let's say you're talking to your Marafiki and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, wewe manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered kwa underpants; spinning around to apologize, wewe instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon wewe realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to wewe au
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward wewe are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if wewe are still covered in wedding cake. All wewe need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to wewe in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this bata walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone wewe have a crush on sits down to say hello to wewe at lunch. wewe have just crammed an entire cupcake in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, wewe gradually become aware that wewe have no idea how to swing your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. wewe panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text au barua pepe exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. wewe promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults wewe typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, wewe grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses au face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. wewe respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." sekunde pass. Oh my goodness, wewe think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible majibu collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, wewe are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. wewe are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no zaidi au less awkward than the inayofuata person, assuming the inayofuata person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. wewe are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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posted by danmarino900
My friend (I won't use her real name) ill call her "Jessica", was once kind of suicidle and she got really sad one night so she found a bunch of pills (she doesent know what they are) and swallowed them. She had really bad stomach pains since then (its been a month, and the stomach pains have been going away slowly) Also, she gets the pains when she eats. Although the pain slowly keeps becoming easier, it doesent seem to be going away. She does not want anyone but me to know, so she doesent want to see a doctor either because that would involve her telling someone. (She especially doesent want her parents to know). Any medical help au ideas as to what it might be au what she can do to fix herself?
posted by hetaliaitaly
BLACK: black is protection but can also be anger of someone else au yourself.

BLUE: blue is calming and emotional color that can be used in good times and bad times.

BROWN: brown is the earth and being close to nature and being close to others feelings.

GREEN: Green is a beauty and understanding of others choices and what happens in your mind.


GREY: grey serenity and silence of being at peace with your problem.

ORANGE: machungwa, chungwa is change and moving mbele with your life and letting go of the people that have hurt wewe in the past.

PINK: pink is universal upendo au self-love
and loving of of the people...
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1)read something over and over that wewe thing that think is funny that wewe au someone ilitumwa on fanpop.
2)a nice cup of coffee.
3)a nice cup of hot coco.
4)a nice brakefast(sorry if mis spelled).
5)do something to make yourself laugh.
trust me i works to laugh your head off before wewe go to school, work, cherch au when your at nyumbani i just got dun, waliopelekwa kusoma a 100 times over what i ilitumwa on an rp and it was funny i put the words "BONE HEAD" 10 times then put "YOU ARE HOPELESS!" and i'm still laughing my head off so it helps to at lest laugh to start your siku off right
posted by smileypop9
Something I did for fun cos I was bored...just getting my thoughts out lol! This is part 4. :DDDDDDDDD
----------------------

TV ads. I hate 'em. I mean, except for the dancing babies one.
.
Doesn't it annoy wewe when you're watching your fave onyesha on telly, someone is about to die au something equally exciting to watch, when everything stops and an Aquafresh advert pops up. Mm. Aquafresh. Great. wewe know, just what I came to watch on TV. A freakin' lady brush her teeth and smile into her mirror. Your teeth are still yellow, woman.
...

Or those annoying My Little gppony, pony adverts. Who the hell would...
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posted by samuraibond005
This makala is kwa Alicia Chang, AP science writer. Written on Thursday, April 21, 2011 at 6:18 ET. As usual I typed into bin “Current events” and opened the link to Yahoo News, clicked the science tab. It usually takes some searching to find a good makala but this time the first makala was just perfect. I saw a picture of what looked like a crater on mars however, the title proved way zaidi exiting. There was no tarehe specified for when this discovery took place. The makala is on a large dry ice lake that was discovered on mars, one that probably formed 6000,000 years ago.
    600,000...
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FASHION designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana may stand trial for allegedly failing to pay taxes on zaidi than $1 billion in income.

The pair — whose designs have been worn kwa the likes of Madonna, Justin Bieber, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Bosworth and Kylie Minogue among others — are accused of defrauding the Italian revenue agency and authorities say they failed to pay taxes on zaidi than $1 billion in income.

The designing duo were indicted in November after being accused of setting up a holdings company in Luxembourg in order to evade high Italian taxes. Authorities have been investigating...
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