Have wewe ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this makala is right for you! Hahaha. wewe know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P
1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that wewe have to go to the bathroom, and that wewe think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are wewe doing okay in there?". To make it even zaidi annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When wewe are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom. (Even if they would rather wewe didn't).
2. Sing along to everything. Especially the annoying au little-kid songs. If they are listening to their iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start imba along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well). Remember, wewe don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as wewe go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if wewe are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles. wewe could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
3. Hug bila mpangilio people. Just spontaneously run up to a person and give them a hug and tell them that wewe are so glad to see them and that they are your best friend ever. And after that, right in front of them, do the same thing to some other person.
4. Ask private questions. wewe can either ask a ton of these to one person, au spread it around. If wewe are going to do this to any bila mpangilio person, do things like ask a man if he has ever had an abortion au is pregnant, au ask a 13 mwaka old if they have ever been to rehab, had a drug intervention, au if they are wasted/drunk.
5. Laugh for no reason and at bila mpangilio times. Don't explain yourself either when someone asks wewe why wewe are laughing. Just shrug it off and start laughing at something else. Alternatively, Make up inside jokes that only wewe know and don't share them with anyone. When someone asks wewe why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke.
6. Make animal sounds. People can get really annoyed if wewe sneak up behind them and say "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". If someone is yelling at wewe au scolding you, make a questioning "baaahh?" au "rrribbitt?" sound.
7. Ask someone "why?" and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question.
8. Make prank phone calls. Call your Marafiki during class to "see if their phones were off like they were supposed to be". Call bila mpangilio numbers in the phone book and ask them if they would like to share a turkey sandwich, and don't worry, there's no mustard. The old refrigerator running call is a definite option too, because it's the most annoying in the book! Call one place and then hang up, and keep calling like that. They will be driven insane kwa the non-stop ringing.
9. Speak all in acronyms. Instead of actually laughing, just say "LOL!" Instead of uigizaji surprised, just say "OMG!".
10. Be sarcastic about everything, to the point that people have absolutely no idea what wewe are trying to say.
11. Quote an annoying saying au make one up and keep using it like it's an explanation for everything.
12. Talk about feelings. Always start the conversation with 'I feel' this and 'you hurt my feelings' that and don't stop. It will drive people crazy. It also helps if wewe get out an acoustic guitar, gitaa and talk about how everything hurts your feelings. Also, every time someone says something, reply with, "Oh, I see. And how do wewe think that makes me feel?" Also, complain non-stop. No one wants to be around a whiner.
13. Act very full of yourself and like the entire world should revolve around your fingernails.
14. Make annoying sounds. Tap your fingers constantly on the table, au tap your foot over and over again.
15. Have really pointless and loud conversations on your mobile phone on the bus/train. This never fails to be annoying.
16. Shuffle around constantly. Act as if wewe can't keep still.
17. Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's eye line.
18. Gawk at something non-existent on the juu of someone's head. When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head au right on juu of their head. If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation. To make it even zaidi annoying, keep doing it throughout the siku at inappropriate times.
19. Eat weird things constantly. Good things for this are sprinkles, ketchup, soy nuts, and ice. au put something weird on everything wewe eat.
20. Eat really loudly. Forget your meza, jedwali manners.
21. Stare at people. This freaks a lot of people out.
22. Tell people, IN ENGLISH, that wewe do not speak English, and wewe are learning from a tutor. This works even better if wewe use really long au rarely used words. The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use.
23. Chew gum constantly, as loud as wewe can, and with your mouth open.
24. Learn a different language (uncommon languages work best) and ramble at bila mpangilio people in that language. A highly recommended language is Klingon, as very few people know about it and it sounds alien.
25. Watch old movies. Some old sinema are annoying enough kwa just being on the shelves of the nearest Block Buster, but what if wewe took the old movie annoying factor to a whole new level? wewe can watch dozens of them and give reviews and say things like ,"The only part I didn't like was that Johnny and Bethany didn't kiss until the end" au "The musical numbers were GARBAGE" even if there weren't any. After uandishi your reviews, try and memorize them and tell everyone wewe know. wewe can also invite all your Marafiki over and insist they stay up with wewe all night to watch the "I upendo Lucy" series collection.
26. Sit on a bench in a park with a friend and make maoni about people (loudly so that they can hear you) that is the complete OPPOSITE of what they are actually like, e.g. if a really fat person walks past, yell "OH MY GOSH, THERE'S JUST NO NEED FOR BEING THAT SKINNY."
27. When someone asks wewe anything, reply "sure, wewe want fries with that?".
28. Sing bila mpangilio songs at bila mpangilio times. for example: start imba Jingle Bells during a car trip. This is very annoying and will annoy anyone.
29. If your friend is on a date, call him/her every 2 dakika to ask what's going on. Make them go into an extremely detailed description of what their tarehe is wearing, down to if the zipper on his/her koti, jacket is made of metal au plastic. If they turn off their phone, leave a zillion messages each with one question. If wewe can, call the person your friend is dating and ask to speak to your friend.
30. Refuse to go to kitanda unless the cat au whatever pet wewe have reads wewe a bedtime story.
31. Offer someone something. If they say yes and reach for it, yell "NO, THOSE ARE MINE!"
32. Contradict yourself constantly and act like it's the other person's fault for not understanding you. for example : "Everyone knows that secret" "If it's a secret than how come everybody knows it?" "No one knows it" "Then how do wewe know it?" "Everybody does" Keep doing this infinitely.
33. Pick a few bila mpangilio fairly common words. Whenever someone says them. Inform that person that they have mispronounced that word and tell them the "correct" pronunciation. Never do this if the actually mispronounce a word.
34. Ask people what gender they are.
35. Tell this joke to the same person everyday. Here goes. wewe say," How many fingers do I have?" The they will say, "how many?" au "10." Then wewe say," I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs!" And laugh and cough. Again, tell this joke to the same person everyday. Then, after a week, change the target.
Warnings
In most cases, this will not encourage other people to enjoy your company. wewe could lose all your Marafiki if wewe annoy them. Don't be annoying to your Marafiki too much, they will not be your Marafiki anymore if wewe do so.
1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that wewe have to go to the bathroom, and that wewe think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are wewe doing okay in there?". To make it even zaidi annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When wewe are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom. (Even if they would rather wewe didn't).
2. Sing along to everything. Especially the annoying au little-kid songs. If they are listening to their iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start imba along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well). Remember, wewe don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as wewe go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if wewe are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles. wewe could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
3. Hug bila mpangilio people. Just spontaneously run up to a person and give them a hug and tell them that wewe are so glad to see them and that they are your best friend ever. And after that, right in front of them, do the same thing to some other person.
4. Ask private questions. wewe can either ask a ton of these to one person, au spread it around. If wewe are going to do this to any bila mpangilio person, do things like ask a man if he has ever had an abortion au is pregnant, au ask a 13 mwaka old if they have ever been to rehab, had a drug intervention, au if they are wasted/drunk.
5. Laugh for no reason and at bila mpangilio times. Don't explain yourself either when someone asks wewe why wewe are laughing. Just shrug it off and start laughing at something else. Alternatively, Make up inside jokes that only wewe know and don't share them with anyone. When someone asks wewe why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke.
6. Make animal sounds. People can get really annoyed if wewe sneak up behind them and say "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". If someone is yelling at wewe au scolding you, make a questioning "baaahh?" au "rrribbitt?" sound.
7. Ask someone "why?" and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question.
8. Make prank phone calls. Call your Marafiki during class to "see if their phones were off like they were supposed to be". Call bila mpangilio numbers in the phone book and ask them if they would like to share a turkey sandwich, and don't worry, there's no mustard. The old refrigerator running call is a definite option too, because it's the most annoying in the book! Call one place and then hang up, and keep calling like that. They will be driven insane kwa the non-stop ringing.
9. Speak all in acronyms. Instead of actually laughing, just say "LOL!" Instead of uigizaji surprised, just say "OMG!".
10. Be sarcastic about everything, to the point that people have absolutely no idea what wewe are trying to say.
11. Quote an annoying saying au make one up and keep using it like it's an explanation for everything.
12. Talk about feelings. Always start the conversation with 'I feel' this and 'you hurt my feelings' that and don't stop. It will drive people crazy. It also helps if wewe get out an acoustic guitar, gitaa and talk about how everything hurts your feelings. Also, every time someone says something, reply with, "Oh, I see. And how do wewe think that makes me feel?" Also, complain non-stop. No one wants to be around a whiner.
13. Act very full of yourself and like the entire world should revolve around your fingernails.
14. Make annoying sounds. Tap your fingers constantly on the table, au tap your foot over and over again.
15. Have really pointless and loud conversations on your mobile phone on the bus/train. This never fails to be annoying.
16. Shuffle around constantly. Act as if wewe can't keep still.
17. Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's eye line.
18. Gawk at something non-existent on the juu of someone's head. When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head au right on juu of their head. If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation. To make it even zaidi annoying, keep doing it throughout the siku at inappropriate times.
19. Eat weird things constantly. Good things for this are sprinkles, ketchup, soy nuts, and ice. au put something weird on everything wewe eat.
20. Eat really loudly. Forget your meza, jedwali manners.
21. Stare at people. This freaks a lot of people out.
22. Tell people, IN ENGLISH, that wewe do not speak English, and wewe are learning from a tutor. This works even better if wewe use really long au rarely used words. The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use.
23. Chew gum constantly, as loud as wewe can, and with your mouth open.
24. Learn a different language (uncommon languages work best) and ramble at bila mpangilio people in that language. A highly recommended language is Klingon, as very few people know about it and it sounds alien.
25. Watch old movies. Some old sinema are annoying enough kwa just being on the shelves of the nearest Block Buster, but what if wewe took the old movie annoying factor to a whole new level? wewe can watch dozens of them and give reviews and say things like ,"The only part I didn't like was that Johnny and Bethany didn't kiss until the end" au "The musical numbers were GARBAGE" even if there weren't any. After uandishi your reviews, try and memorize them and tell everyone wewe know. wewe can also invite all your Marafiki over and insist they stay up with wewe all night to watch the "I upendo Lucy" series collection.
26. Sit on a bench in a park with a friend and make maoni about people (loudly so that they can hear you) that is the complete OPPOSITE of what they are actually like, e.g. if a really fat person walks past, yell "OH MY GOSH, THERE'S JUST NO NEED FOR BEING THAT SKINNY."
27. When someone asks wewe anything, reply "sure, wewe want fries with that?".
28. Sing bila mpangilio songs at bila mpangilio times. for example: start imba Jingle Bells during a car trip. This is very annoying and will annoy anyone.
29. If your friend is on a date, call him/her every 2 dakika to ask what's going on. Make them go into an extremely detailed description of what their tarehe is wearing, down to if the zipper on his/her koti, jacket is made of metal au plastic. If they turn off their phone, leave a zillion messages each with one question. If wewe can, call the person your friend is dating and ask to speak to your friend.
30. Refuse to go to kitanda unless the cat au whatever pet wewe have reads wewe a bedtime story.
31. Offer someone something. If they say yes and reach for it, yell "NO, THOSE ARE MINE!"
32. Contradict yourself constantly and act like it's the other person's fault for not understanding you. for example : "Everyone knows that secret" "If it's a secret than how come everybody knows it?" "No one knows it" "Then how do wewe know it?" "Everybody does" Keep doing this infinitely.
33. Pick a few bila mpangilio fairly common words. Whenever someone says them. Inform that person that they have mispronounced that word and tell them the "correct" pronunciation. Never do this if the actually mispronounce a word.
34. Ask people what gender they are.
35. Tell this joke to the same person everyday. Here goes. wewe say," How many fingers do I have?" The they will say, "how many?" au "10." Then wewe say," I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs!" And laugh and cough. Again, tell this joke to the same person everyday. Then, after a week, change the target.
Warnings
In most cases, this will not encourage other people to enjoy your company. wewe could lose all your Marafiki if wewe annoy them. Don't be annoying to your Marafiki too much, they will not be your Marafiki anymore if wewe do so.