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posted by ilovepenguins
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim wewe are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe wewe but DONT give up, see how far wewe can get ( WARNING, may result in wewe being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when wewe are the only one laughing.

4. when the plane is still on the ground, Rock back and forth in your kiti, kiti cha and say aloud "THIS TURBULANCE SURE IS ROUGH!!"

5. Wear rags and a headscarf, claim that your name is Svetolafoson Frojhkyhkjuhjdj and that wewe are being deported back to Estonia, look pleased when your told that this plane is not going there. say "Really?!, u haf not met me if zey ask zen, ok?!"

6. As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as wewe scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when wewe land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.

7. Go in to the toilet and make loud vomiting noises, keep going for a few minutes, then come out and announce to the plane that the toilet is blocked, act like its not your fault.

8. Stand up and ask the passengers if anyone " wants to jiunge the mile high club with you?" wink suggestively at various people...of both sexes.

9. Get the pilot to onyesha wewe round the cockpit, come out afterwards and say "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGH HE COULD FLY THE PLANE AFTER SO MUCH vodka BUT IT JUST SHOWS, THEY REALLY ARE TRUE PROFESIONALS!".

10. Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.

11. Enthrall your companions on the plane kwa telling them that wewe knew the pilot of Buddy Holly's plane and you're pretty sure he trained at the same place as your current pilot.

12. Give a fact filled guide of the area wewe are flying over, this can include " And if wewe look to your right wewe will see the wreckage of our sister plane, after she was shot at and subsequently crashed in to that mountain side which, as wewe can see, her burnt out hull remains embedded in, the bodies were never found.'

13. Streak.

14. Occasionally scream........loudly.

15. Get up and announce that wewe are going to hi-jack the plane, make to get out a gun, but act like its not there, check all your pockets and then say " OH CRAP, I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN THE OTHER COAT, OK, NEVER MIND!" Sit down like nothing has happened.

16. From the sekunde wewe take off, every ten sekunde say in the same voice "are we there yet?"

17. Keep sniffing around and eventually say in a loud voice "CAN wewe SMELL BURNING?"

18. Go to the cockpit, wait a few second, then come back and say in a loud voice, "UMM SHOULD'NT THERE BE...LIKE....A PILOT?"

19. When your on a small, ten person plane, Inform everyone that wewe used to be an aerodynamic engineer and this plane is VERY badly built.

20. As wewe get of the plane, look worried and announce loudly" VAIT A MINUTE, VOT IZ ZIS PLACE?! ZIS IZ NOT POLAND, VERE ZE HELL IZ ZIS?!?!?!?"

21. If you're flying first class, make sure to sit behind someone. When that person is sleeping, grap your motion sickness bag and vomit in it. After wewe do that, hold the bag in the air and then pop it on the person. See what happens......
posted by eslisle4254
I found this poem and i felt i needed to post it

Month One

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I upendo the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your moyo beat is my inayopendelewa lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If wewe could see me, wewe could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my nyumbani though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes wewe happy. I always want wewe to be happy. I don't like it when wewe cry. wewe sound...
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posted by TDAPlayer158

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
10. Blind People Dream

People who become blind after birth can see picha in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.

9. wewe Forget 90% of your Dreams

Within 5 dakika of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic...
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not kwa me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot au putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast chakula restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked kwa his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes nyumbani and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother majibu " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad majibu "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she majibu "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she majibu "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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added by fanfly
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
1.if they let wewe touch their ipod computer au mp3 futa every thing on it!

2.when they try to sleep flicker the lights off and on!

3.when they go with wewe to the store au something yell "WHY ARE wewe FOLLOWING ME I'M TRYING TO LIVE MY FREAKING LIFE!"

4.tell you're mom au dad they took crack and now are humping the bathtub!

5.cut their hair in there sleep

6.hide their pet and say wewe saw get run over

7.yell"this is a very nice box!!!" as loud as wewe can in their room

8.dump out their 7-up and take to the bathroom then pee in it the mall say "give me money i want this i want it it it it it it...
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So whenever ur in a crowded place i find that it is really fun to ummmmm well play some jokes on bila mpangilio passerby!!!! if ur like me read on.................

The number one thing to do!!
Get a 1 au 5 dollar bill.
Get some chokoleti icing.
Put the icing in a little turd shape on the money ( u see where i'm going with this??)
Put the bill in plane view and watch the peoples expressions!! they usually go from " look some money!!!!" to " Ughhh run away!!!"
It is just hilarious and when u get tired of watching au see somebody who looks like they'll take it anyway..... walk over pick it up and put the icing...
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added by dragonzord1993
1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister au brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your muziki really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a mkate sandwich, sandwichi

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat au dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
added by BellaMetallica
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started uandishi it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if wewe don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest wewe don't read it. :)

[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your Marafiki and either forget all about us au tell a story about the hideous freak wewe met tonight. wewe don’t know me, if wewe did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have Marafiki - except my brother....
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added by RoohWinchester
Source: Google
added by tanyya
Hi everyone!

It's been a super long time since I published an article, and I thought this would be a good time to update the orodha I ilitumwa about a mwaka ago.

About the article:

1. I'll just be focusing on faces.

2. I tried my best (the Internet and I both have limitations) to base everything on how people looked before plastic surgery/ makeup. Somebody who looks amazing with all that, but without all that doesn't stand out to me, wouldn't cut the list... and somebody who doesn't look good after all that but used to look amazing would. (The picha here aren't the ones I based my rankings on.)

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Got inspired kwa 324anna's makala :)

10. Emily Ratajkowski
I thought she looked odd when I first saw the clip of Blurred Lines. Looked again and completely changed my mind! She does have exotic features but she doesn't look strange to me anymore, just stunning.

9. Olivia Munn
She's very unique looking, she can pull off pretty much anything. I upendo her freckles and her hazel eyes, it meshes well with her mizeituni, mzeituni skin and her dark hair.

8. J-Lo
It's gotta be a sin to look this good in your 40s. She's famous for her assets but damn, there's so much zaidi to her beauty, this woman is mad beautiful....
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added by tanyya
added by h2ogirl123
Wow Japan, Just wow...
bila mpangilio
added by ppgbelle4
on MikeDiva's channel