bila mpangilio Club
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posted by cute20k
1. Dial a bila mpangilio number and confuse the person who majibu kwa saying things like;
"Why did wewe call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up bila mpangilio statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a bila mpangilio makala like this.

4. At walmart au somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, au a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with their upcoming child while staring at their stomach in a serious tone.

5. Go sit in your front yard and wave to the people walking bye. Greet them with something like, "Hey Sally, how's the kids?"

6. Text everyone wewe know something like, "Happy international talk-like-a-viking-day!"

7. Write a comic book including yourself staring as a superhero along with your Marafiki as your sidekick au other superheros and make your arch nemisis some one wewe deeply despise.

8. Flirt with perverts on the web. (Best times are around 9-11 am in my time, in the south eastern area of the united states, sorry I don't know time zones!)

9. (girls, au cross-dressers....) Blind fold your Marafiki and yourself and give each other blind makeovers. (results may vary)

10. (girls au kuvuka, msalaba dressers..) First you'll need a half full/half empty au completely empty perfume au body mist bottle. Add smelly things and strange liquids while trying to maintain a believeable color and offer the original fragrance to either a friend as a joke au to an enemy.
1. Change the lyrics to a maarufu song to hilarious bila mpangilio lyrics.

12. Find a poster of a celeb. wewe hate au a picture of an enemy and use markers/cheap makeup to paint them into your point of view towards them.

13. Drive a riding lawnmower down the mitaani, mtaa casually.

14. Carry a kitanda down the mitaani, mtaa and see how long it takes until someone calls the police.

15. Try some of the Candy in the medicine cabinet.

16. Tell everyone how much wewe upendo them, including strangers.

17. (aimed at guys) Undress and meet me in the back with the jack at the juke box ;) (jk)

18. Take your pants off and run around your neighborhood screaming "MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!"

19. Chat with strangers on the internet! That seems to be what most of us do.

20. Try a stage slide in shorts.

21. Complain to bila mpangilio strangers about a bruise on your buttox.

22. Give your mother a moyo attack and tell her your pregnant. (especially affective for guys but aimed at girls)

23. Shake up a soda can (while the hobos not looking) and politely offer the cold drink to a hobo seemingly obliviously.

24. Try to make your own soda. (ex. For machungwa, chungwa soda add machungwa, chungwa chakula coloring au machungwa, chungwa juisi to sprite) Now offer your creation to someone.
25. (girls... au cross-dressers) Hang upside down from a mti and give your friend a makeover.

26.Go streaking through town.

27. Go skinny dipping.

28. Write cuss words on the side walk with chalk in a neighborhood with small children.

29. Try playing baseball with tomatoes.

30. Go around town getting bila mpangilio people to sign your t-shirt.

31. Have a free hug day.

32. Have a cake/pie fight.

33. Ask for band name suggestions at a gay bar.(I've done this before. Hilarious outcomes.) *

34. Play midnight subway gari game (run from subway gari to subway gari before the doors close.)

35. Throw a themed party (ex. football bros and cheerleading hoes)

36. Water gun drive by.

37. Have a picnic on a roof!
38. Flour Bombing- it's really cheap and easy...
Buy a load of cheap tissues and flour.
Open a tissue up and put about a handful of flour inside.
Then screw the juu of the tissue up so that it is sealed, but not too tight.
Make as many of these as wewe like and mgawanyiko, baidisha them out evenly between your friends.
Find a large field au garden, put on some old clothes and go crazy throwing them at eachother (it's even better at night!)
Same rules apply as in paintballing!

39. Racing in shopping carts is major fun.

40. Push your friend in a baby stroller (let go) down the steepest kilima in your neighborhood (A 1st aid kit might come in handy.)

41.Take ketchup packets from McDonalds and leave them under car tires in a parking lot.

45. Do the same with eggs and rotten tomatoes.

46. Sit your younger brother/sister/cousin/something (If wewe don't have these subsitutions may include a close friend who's good at being annoying) on a kinyesi in wewe front yard and try to auction them off.

47. Leave a hamburger on juu of someone's car and wait in a car nearby and watch their reaction..

48. Tell some little kids your having an Easter Egg Hunt au something ( But don't hide anything!!) And watch as they look and look.

49.Jump Trucking (jump on the back of a truck/van and see where it takes you)
50. WalMart au Super Store Frogging(basically means wewe plan to sneak a sleepover, they stay open for 24 hours so hide and wait til everyones gone)

51. T-P someone's house

52. Cow tipping!!

53. Wait until its dark and when a neighbor au family comes home. Hide in the bushes and as they walk by, spray them with something like silly string au washable spray paint.

54. Go chakula Sampling (like trick au treating, instead of door to door wewe go store to store and collect bila mpangilio chakula samples--the mall chakula court is a good place to start. At the end of the day, dump all your collectibles on a plate and have lunch/dinner together)

55. Mute Dialogue a Movie au a TV onyesha (bring down the sound au mute it and make up what they're saying lol)

56. Night time Glow PaintBall shooting/Water Balloon Fighting (fill guns with glow in the dark paint au fill water balloons and make a game of it at night...Remember the zaidi wewe get hit the easier it is to find wewe and target wewe again. Play til wewe run out)

57. Ride Railing of an escalator (run up a down escalator, run down an up escalator...Warning: the inexperienced WILL get hurt---or thrown out lol)

58. inayofuata time wewe go eat fast chakula go thru the drive thru without a car and demand service!

59. Fast chakula Hopping. Grab Mcdonalds fries, Burger King Whoppers, Wendy's Frosty, Arby's mozzarella Sticks, KFC nuggets, Subway drink (or switch it around, then sit down outside a fancy restaurant and have a nice but cheap meal and do some people watching especially as they come out of the restaurant with empty wallets)
60. Do some karaoke with Marafiki au better yet go caroling hot hits door to door (if they complain say you're observing a religious holiday, it's even funnier to say after wewe finished imba Baby Got Back. Make sure to ask for any requests and try to beatbox even if you're terrible at it)

61. When the phone rings and its a sells call, say you're not buying but then try to sell them the competitors product.

62. Call a pizza place. Tell them you're new and town and your neighbors asked wewe to order pizza for a party but since you're new round here you're not really sure what this pizza thing is and ask them to explain it to you. When they say "Bread with meat and cheese on it." Ask them something like "What kind of bread? Like a sandwich? With meat? Well, what kind of meat? Couldn't I just put some turkey & cheese on a sandwich?" For best outcomes, call a place where it is against the rules for an employee to hang up on a customer who calls. (In my town there's a place called "Hungry Howie's where these rules apply. My brother's friend is expert at this kind of stuff and did this --He made the call last almost an hour!

62. Eat something that is bad for you, then bathe in pepto-bismal.

63. Tie yourself to the back of a car then jump off while its moving and have someone videotape wewe getting extremely bad road-rash at the speeds of 50 to 70mph...

64. Run around town and lick every shops window .

65. Bring a wireless microphone into town and sing beside someone playing a guitar, gitaa etc.

66. Sit on your roof and throw water baloons at pedestrians.

67. Follow bila mpangilio people around and pretend wewe know them kwa trying to make conversation.

68. Run around in your underwear with a wand and a harry potter outfit and yell spells at people.
69. Go to Wal-Mart and when the announcer comes on Say this Its those voices again!!! Scream that in an isle!!

70. Go into a bila mpangilio store with a lot of people and screamI WON THE LOTTERY!!!

71.When wewe are in class lightly bob your head to a light tune and then think of a really heavy metal tune and just whip out the air guitar, gitaa and everything! Thrash your head around too!!!

72. Get whipped cream in a bottle and spray randoms!!

73. Have a hugging contest!

74. Try on old people clothes clothes at the mall and pakia them onto your fanpop/myspace/facebook au another account!

75. Knock and run on peoples houses(teaches, mates, old people)

76. Put karanga siagi on the handle of bila mpangilio cars

77. follow a bila mpangilio car nyumbani to mess with them

78. fast chakula football (have someone run through and grab your bag of chakula as the people are handing it to you;; wewe get another bag of chakula free)

79. dress up as the oppostie sex and go into public.

80. hide behind things at the mall and throw eggs/water balloons at people walking kwa

81. Get a whole basket of food, wait till its all checked out, and say wewe forgot your wallet

82. drive through the mcdonalds drive-thru backwards

83. Get kicked out of wal-mart84. Rent golfcarts and race your Marafiki on them

85. Honk going through a neighborhood early in the morning au late at night and wake people up.

86. onyesha up at the wrong house, pretend its your Marafiki house (that you've never been to) and just go right in and pretend everythings normal.

87. Rearrange your entire house before your parents come nyumbani

88.get a bald cap, go to school and pretend like wewe shaved your head.

89. Walk in public with your pants off casually

90. Climb a mti and drop eggs on cars.

91. Mess with the scale at a doctor's office so everyone thinks they're really fat.


93. Video yourself doing a silly dance to a song then watch it after and laugh.

94. Text every contact saying your pregnant/getting married/diagnosed with autism/etc.

95. Black mail your teacher.

96.Pile up all your stuffed toys in the middle of a room then jump in them.

97. Open your window and yell out of it, "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

98. Type in 'Things to do when you're bored' on youtube.
99. On the computer, make a fake advertisement for a Gardener and put it out in the porch. Later, find out if your parents think it is real!

100. Put a sign up outside your house saying 'Brother/siter for sale'

101. Draw a banana.

102. Slap yourself until wewe get hurt.

103. Pretend to look around your room as if it has just turned into Narnia.

104. try to balance as many spoons on your face as wewe can.

105. Pretend wewe are running away from yourself.

106. Try to break a CD (one that wewe don't use anymore).

107. Make a mixture of all the liquids in your bathroom then put it in a bottle and name it (your name)'s secret bath lotion.

108. Post a video onto Youtube of wewe doing the most bila mpangilio things ever.

109. Walk around your room without walking on the floor.

110. Make a sale of the most bila mpangilio things ever outside your house.

111. orodha all the swear words wewe know and mail the note to a bila mpangilio adress.

112. Make up a video called,''What to do when you're bored
113.You grab a stuff animal(has to be small) and wewe run up and the side walk yelling pussy come back. wewe get some crazy looks and its really funny.

114. Go do something that would make the world a little bit better- Protest for chickens who like to kuvuka, msalaba the road's questioned authorities.

115. Sit on your roof with your friends, and if someone gives wewe a weird look from the street, yell "We are waiting to board the mothership!"
116. Play Sweet & sour, wamekula with some friends. Stand on a mitaani, mtaa corner and wave at every car that passes. If they wave back au smile, yell "Sweet." If they ignore wewe au give wewe a dirty look, yell "SOUR!" and chase them as long as wewe would like.

117. Go to Wal-Mart and just sit in the middle of an isle with your friends. See how long it takes for someone to make wewe move.

118. Go to a store like target and play phone tag (if wewe have a picture cell phone) --- like walk through the store and the game is to try to get pics of your Marafiki w/o them seeing wewe and w/o them taking pictures of you!

119. Go teepeeing go through a drive thru and order bila mpangilio **** and mess with the pe

120. Stay a couple nights in a hotle with about 20 people in the same room (got kicked out.

121. Go to a store and pretend your blind.

123. Dress up like Santa & go to walmart & wish people a merry Christmas! (no matter if it's krisimasi au not!)

124. Run really fast and slide on a carpet then count how many rug burns wewe get
125. Find a number wewe like (preferably 47) and become obsessed with it.
Don’t worry; I’ve listed some interesting examples of ‘obsessive behaviour’ to start wewe off:
Buy all the t-shirts and items of clothing wewe can with that number on it, or, if that fails, go to a t-shirt printers and get some made. If wewe prefer, there is always the option of buying an age badge of your number from any good card/gift shop. If they have sold out of your number, make your badge out of paper plates and cocktail sticks.
Every time wewe spot your number (whether on your own au in public) point to it and scream “Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” as loud as wewe can.
When wewe go out nightclubbing, steal a girl friend’s eyeliner pencil and draw that number on your forehead. (Don’t use your own pencil, if wewe have one – such extensive use will shorten the life of wewe eye-liner for sure.) People may stare at wewe – don’t be alarmed if this happens. They are simply amazed kwa how cool wewe look.
Get the DJs of any pubs wewe visit (don’t bother with club DJs – they won’t take wewe seriously) to announce your preferred number over the PA system as often as wewe can. Don’t be disheartened if continuous harassment of the DJ gets wewe thrown out of your local – remember the power of your number, and have faith that the pub landlord will come round eventually.
Make an occasion of Halloween. Get a pumpkin, carve out the shape of your sacred number, and take it with wewe when wewe go out. Remember, wewe can’t throw away the carved out pumpkin, boga number! Best keep it in your freezer for all eternity so it’s always there to protect wewe from evil.
Sometimes a nonsensical word, for instance ‘Toyspens’, can be used in conjunction with your chosen number for added effect. However, be very careful when deciding on your word au wewe may end up accidentally summoning the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse again.
If someone asks wewe “Why??” laugh hysterically and then ignore them for a few days. They’ll soon realise their mistake.

126. Get a group of Marafiki and climb into the window in a store and pretend to be manicans kwa standing as still as possible and posing. See how many people wewe can fool.

127. Hang out on someone's roof and talk.

128. CLIFF JUMPING! wewe ALWAYS WALK AWAY WITH A CUT au SOMETHING! ITS A GREAT TIME BRING A VIDEO CAMERA129. Throw on some Mexican wrestling masks and sit in the trees drinking scotch...and scare the hell out of early morning joggers.

130. well, wewe know those people who get their deer heads mounted? Anyway, take it & ride around in the car with it. Occasionally stick it's head out the window sometimes.

131. Go around during an election season collecting the signs for one candidate and making note of what house we took it from, then go and switch those signs with people who were promoting the other candidate.

132. Try slamming a revolving door.
added by KanonKyu
Source: Sweet upigaji picha shabiki art kwa me - KanonKyu
added by KanonKyu
Source: Sweet upigaji picha shabiki art kwa me - KanonKyu
Note: This is just my thoughts. Don't take them personality, Frozen fans. I just don't like it that much so take this orodha with a pinch of salt.

Frozen is one of the most much-loved film of all time . I'm sure it heard Let It Go. I used to be a shabiki but now, I don't
Know why it's so famous. This storyline is so easy and simple, the songs are ear worms ( but not so bad) and well, the story was over after the movie, nothing else can happen!

( Now I have nothing against Frozen. It's good and I like Anna so no haters)

The wasted talent and cash ( that they could have used for Frozen 2) and made two...
continue reading...
#5: JAWS:
I still remember that time my dad told me there's this really cool papa movie, where he kills a bunch of people.. This sounded so cool, I loved that thought. But when I saw it.. Boy, I STILL get nervous in the water.. Thanks a lot Dad..


#4: INDIANA JONES:
That whole bug scene..


#3: WILLY WONKA:
We all know the scene.. Fuck that scene..


#2: MOST Goosebumps EPISODES:
Yeah.. I was pretty easy to scare..


#1: KING KONG:
"And the award for most fucked up Natives, goes to.. Peter Jackson (audience cheers)".
Seriously, man.. With all the slow motion, and the fucking old lady.. I was traumatized for months..
Even that scene when Carl sees the skull on the map.. I think I had indigestion au something.. That face image fucked me up..
added by ShadowFan100
added by tanyya
posted by Windrises
Several of my inayopendelewa fictional characters are great alone, but others need a another good character to balance things out. This orodha is about the 5 duos that I like the most. I hope wewe read it and enjoy the list.

5. the Black Snow Princess and Megumi (Accel World)

Accel World is a anime show. The Black Snow Princess (Kuroyukihime) is the main female character and Megumi is her best friend. The 2 of them have a heartwarming and adorable friendship. The 18th episode is focused on them and it's easily my inayopendelewa episode. In that episode it's reveled how much they mean to each other. I'm not...
continue reading...
added by australia-101
added by 3xZ
Source: MARVEL
video
mobile suit
gundam
the
origin
ii
artesia's sorrow
artesia
sayla
mass
added by Gretulee
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by nmdis
added by 3xZ
Source: 3xZ
added by superDivya
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And onyesha me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And wewe upendo it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
onyesha me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And kumeza it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey