bila mpangilio Club
jiunge
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by cute20k
1. Dial a bila mpangilio number and confuse the person who majibu kwa saying things like;
"Why did wewe call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up bila mpangilio statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a bila mpangilio makala like this.

4. At walmart au somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, au a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with their upcoming child while staring at their stomach in a serious tone.

5. Go sit in your front yard and wave to the people walking bye. Greet them with something like, "Hey Sally, how's the kids?"

6. Text everyone wewe know something like, "Happy international talk-like-a-viking-day!"

7. Write a comic book including yourself staring as a superhero along with your Marafiki as your sidekick au other superheros and make your arch nemisis some one wewe deeply despise.

8. Flirt with perverts on the web. (Best times are around 9-11 am in my time, in the south eastern area of the united states, sorry I don't know time zones!)

9. (girls, au cross-dressers....) Blind fold your Marafiki and yourself and give each other blind makeovers. (results may vary)

10. (girls au kuvuka, msalaba dressers..) First you'll need a half full/half empty au completely empty perfume au body mist bottle. Add smelly things and strange liquids while trying to maintain a believeable color and offer the original fragrance to either a friend as a joke au to an enemy.
1. Change the lyrics to a maarufu song to hilarious bila mpangilio lyrics.

12. Find a poster of a celeb. wewe hate au a picture of an enemy and use markers/cheap makeup to paint them into your point of view towards them.

13. Drive a riding lawnmower down the mitaani, mtaa casually.

14. Carry a kitanda down the mitaani, mtaa and see how long it takes until someone calls the police.

15. Try some of the Candy in the medicine cabinet.

16. Tell everyone how much wewe upendo them, including strangers.

17. (aimed at guys) Undress and meet me in the back with the jack at the juke box ;) (jk)

18. Take your pants off and run around your neighborhood screaming "MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!"

19. Chat with strangers on the internet! That seems to be what most of us do.

20. Try a stage slide in shorts.

21. Complain to bila mpangilio strangers about a bruise on your buttox.

22. Give your mother a moyo attack and tell her your pregnant. (especially affective for guys but aimed at girls)

23. Shake up a soda can (while the hobos not looking) and politely offer the cold drink to a hobo seemingly obliviously.

24. Try to make your own soda. (ex. For machungwa, chungwa soda add machungwa, chungwa chakula coloring au machungwa, chungwa juisi to sprite) Now offer your creation to someone.
25. (girls... au cross-dressers) Hang upside down from a mti and give your friend a makeover.

26.Go streaking through town.

27. Go skinny dipping.

28. Write cuss words on the side walk with chalk in a neighborhood with small children.

29. Try playing baseball with tomatoes.

30. Go around town getting bila mpangilio people to sign your t-shirt.

31. Have a free hug day.

32. Have a cake/pie fight.

33. Ask for band name suggestions at a gay bar.(I've done this before. Hilarious outcomes.) *

34. Play midnight subway gari game (run from subway gari to subway gari before the doors close.)

35. Throw a themed party (ex. football bros and cheerleading hoes)

36. Water gun drive by.

37. Have a picnic on a roof!
38. Flour Bombing- it's really cheap and easy...
Buy a load of cheap tissues and flour.
Open a tissue up and put about a handful of flour inside.
Then screw the juu of the tissue up so that it is sealed, but not too tight.
Make as many of these as wewe like and mgawanyiko, baidisha them out evenly between your friends.
Find a large field au garden, put on some old clothes and go crazy throwing them at eachother (it's even better at night!)
Same rules apply as in paintballing!

39. Racing in shopping carts is major fun.

40. Push your friend in a baby stroller (let go) down the steepest kilima in your neighborhood (A 1st aid kit might come in handy.)

41.Take ketchup packets from McDonalds and leave them under car tires in a parking lot.

45. Do the same with eggs and rotten tomatoes.

46. Sit your younger brother/sister/cousin/something (If wewe don't have these subsitutions may include a close friend who's good at being annoying) on a kinyesi in wewe front yard and try to auction them off.

47. Leave a hamburger on juu of someone's car and wait in a car nearby and watch their reaction..

48. Tell some little kids your having an Easter Egg Hunt au something ( But don't hide anything!!) And watch as they look and look.

49.Jump Trucking (jump on the back of a truck/van and see where it takes you)
50. WalMart au Super Store Frogging(basically means wewe plan to sneak a sleepover, they stay open for 24 hours so hide and wait til everyones gone)

51. T-P someone's house

52. Cow tipping!!

53. Wait until its dark and when a neighbor au family comes home. Hide in the bushes and as they walk by, spray them with something like silly string au washable spray paint.

54. Go chakula Sampling (like trick au treating, instead of door to door wewe go store to store and collect bila mpangilio chakula samples--the mall chakula court is a good place to start. At the end of the day, dump all your collectibles on a plate and have lunch/dinner together)

55. Mute Dialogue a Movie au a TV onyesha (bring down the sound au mute it and make up what they're saying lol)

56. Night time Glow PaintBall shooting/Water Balloon Fighting (fill guns with glow in the dark paint au fill water balloons and make a game of it at night...Remember the zaidi wewe get hit the easier it is to find wewe and target wewe again. Play til wewe run out)

57. Ride Railing of an escalator (run up a down escalator, run down an up escalator...Warning: the inexperienced WILL get hurt---or thrown out lol)

58. inayofuata time wewe go eat fast chakula go thru the drive thru without a car and demand service!

59. Fast chakula Hopping. Grab Mcdonalds fries, Burger King Whoppers, Wendy's Frosty, Arby's mozzarella Sticks, KFC nuggets, Subway drink (or switch it around, then sit down outside a fancy restaurant and have a nice but cheap meal and do some people watching especially as they come out of the restaurant with empty wallets)
60. Do some karaoke with Marafiki au better yet go caroling hot hits door to door (if they complain say you're observing a religious holiday, it's even funnier to say after wewe finished imba Baby Got Back. Make sure to ask for any requests and try to beatbox even if you're terrible at it)

61. When the phone rings and its a sells call, say you're not buying but then try to sell them the competitors product.

62. Call a pizza place. Tell them you're new and town and your neighbors asked wewe to order pizza for a party but since you're new round here you're not really sure what this pizza thing is and ask them to explain it to you. When they say "Bread with meat and cheese on it." Ask them something like "What kind of bread? Like a sandwich? With meat? Well, what kind of meat? Couldn't I just put some turkey & cheese on a sandwich?" For best outcomes, call a place where it is against the rules for an employee to hang up on a customer who calls. (In my town there's a place called "Hungry Howie's where these rules apply. My brother's friend is expert at this kind of stuff and did this --He made the call last almost an hour!

62. Eat something that is bad for you, then bathe in pepto-bismal.

63. Tie yourself to the back of a car then jump off while its moving and have someone videotape wewe getting extremely bad road-rash at the speeds of 50 to 70mph...

64. Run around town and lick every shops window .

65. Bring a wireless microphone into town and sing beside someone playing a guitar, gitaa etc.

66. Sit on your roof and throw water baloons at pedestrians.

67. Follow bila mpangilio people around and pretend wewe know them kwa trying to make conversation.

68. Run around in your underwear with a wand and a harry potter outfit and yell spells at people.
69. Go to Wal-Mart and when the announcer comes on Say this Its those voices again!!! Scream that in an isle!!

70. Go into a bila mpangilio store with a lot of people and screamI WON THE LOTTERY!!!

71.When wewe are in class lightly bob your head to a light tune and then think of a really heavy metal tune and just whip out the air guitar, gitaa and everything! Thrash your head around too!!!

72. Get whipped cream in a bottle and spray randoms!!

73. Have a hugging contest!

74. Try on old people clothes clothes at the mall and pakia them onto your fanpop/myspace/facebook au another account!

75. Knock and run on peoples houses(teaches, mates, old people)

76. Put karanga siagi on the handle of bila mpangilio cars

77. follow a bila mpangilio car nyumbani to mess with them

78. fast chakula football (have someone run through and grab your bag of chakula as the people are handing it to you;; wewe get another bag of chakula free)

79. dress up as the oppostie sex and go into public.

80. hide behind things at the mall and throw eggs/water balloons at people walking kwa

81. Get a whole basket of food, wait till its all checked out, and say wewe forgot your wallet

82. drive through the mcdonalds drive-thru backwards

83. Get kicked out of wal-mart84. Rent golfcarts and race your Marafiki on them

85. Honk going through a neighborhood early in the morning au late at night and wake people up.

86. onyesha up at the wrong house, pretend its your Marafiki house (that you've never been to) and just go right in and pretend everythings normal.

87. Rearrange your entire house before your parents come nyumbani

88.get a bald cap, go to school and pretend like wewe shaved your head.

89. Walk in public with your pants off casually

90. Climb a mti and drop eggs on cars.

91. Mess with the scale at a doctor's office so everyone thinks they're really fat.


93. Video yourself doing a silly dance to a song then watch it after and laugh.

94. Text every contact saying your pregnant/getting married/diagnosed with autism/etc.

95. Black mail your teacher.

96.Pile up all your stuffed toys in the middle of a room then jump in them.

97. Open your window and yell out of it, "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

98. Type in 'Things to do when you're bored' on youtube.
99. On the computer, make a fake advertisement for a Gardener and put it out in the porch. Later, find out if your parents think it is real!

100. Put a sign up outside your house saying 'Brother/siter for sale'

101. Draw a banana.

102. Slap yourself until wewe get hurt.

103. Pretend to look around your room as if it has just turned into Narnia.

104. try to balance as many spoons on your face as wewe can.

105. Pretend wewe are running away from yourself.

106. Try to break a CD (one that wewe don't use anymore).

107. Make a mixture of all the liquids in your bathroom then put it in a bottle and name it (your name)'s secret bath lotion.

108. Post a video onto Youtube of wewe doing the most bila mpangilio things ever.

109. Walk around your room without walking on the floor.

110. Make a sale of the most bila mpangilio things ever outside your house.

111. orodha all the swear words wewe know and mail the note to a bila mpangilio adress.

112. Make up a video called,''What to do when you're bored
113.You grab a stuff animal(has to be small) and wewe run up and the side walk yelling pussy come back. wewe get some crazy looks and its really funny.

114. Go do something that would make the world a little bit better- Protest for chickens who like to kuvuka, msalaba the road's questioned authorities.

115. Sit on your roof with your friends, and if someone gives wewe a weird look from the street, yell "We are waiting to board the mothership!"
116. Play Sweet & sour, wamekula with some friends. Stand on a mitaani, mtaa corner and wave at every car that passes. If they wave back au smile, yell "Sweet." If they ignore wewe au give wewe a dirty look, yell "SOUR!" and chase them as long as wewe would like.

117. Go to Wal-Mart and just sit in the middle of an isle with your friends. See how long it takes for someone to make wewe move.

118. Go to a store like target and play phone tag (if wewe have a picture cell phone) --- like walk through the store and the game is to try to get pics of your Marafiki w/o them seeing wewe and w/o them taking pictures of you!

119. Go teepeeing go through a drive thru and order bila mpangilio **** and mess with the pe

120. Stay a couple nights in a hotle with about 20 people in the same room (got kicked out.

121. Go to a store and pretend your blind.

123. Dress up like Santa & go to walmart & wish people a merry Christmas! (no matter if it's krisimasi au not!)

124. Run really fast and slide on a carpet then count how many rug burns wewe get
125. Find a number wewe like (preferably 47) and become obsessed with it.
Don’t worry; I’ve listed some interesting examples of ‘obsessive behaviour’ to start wewe off:
Buy all the t-shirts and items of clothing wewe can with that number on it, or, if that fails, go to a t-shirt printers and get some made. If wewe prefer, there is always the option of buying an age badge of your number from any good card/gift shop. If they have sold out of your number, make your badge out of paper plates and cocktail sticks.
Every time wewe spot your number (whether on your own au in public) point to it and scream “Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” as loud as wewe can.
When wewe go out nightclubbing, steal a girl friend’s eyeliner pencil and draw that number on your forehead. (Don’t use your own pencil, if wewe have one – such extensive use will shorten the life of wewe eye-liner for sure.) People may stare at wewe – don’t be alarmed if this happens. They are simply amazed kwa how cool wewe look.
Get the DJs of any pubs wewe visit (don’t bother with club DJs – they won’t take wewe seriously) to announce your preferred number over the PA system as often as wewe can. Don’t be disheartened if continuous harassment of the DJ gets wewe thrown out of your local – remember the power of your number, and have faith that the pub landlord will come round eventually.
Make an occasion of Halloween. Get a pumpkin, carve out the shape of your sacred number, and take it with wewe when wewe go out. Remember, wewe can’t throw away the carved out pumpkin, boga number! Best keep it in your freezer for all eternity so it’s always there to protect wewe from evil.
Sometimes a nonsensical word, for instance ‘Toyspens’, can be used in conjunction with your chosen number for added effect. However, be very careful when deciding on your word au wewe may end up accidentally summoning the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse again.
If someone asks wewe “Why??” laugh hysterically and then ignore them for a few days. They’ll soon realise their mistake.

126. Get a group of Marafiki and climb into the window in a store and pretend to be manicans kwa standing as still as possible and posing. See how many people wewe can fool.

127. Hang out on someone's roof and talk.

128. CLIFF JUMPING! wewe ALWAYS WALK AWAY WITH A CUT au SOMETHING! ITS A GREAT TIME BRING A VIDEO CAMERA129. Throw on some Mexican wrestling masks and sit in the trees drinking scotch...and scare the hell out of early morning joggers.

130. well, wewe know those people who get their deer heads mounted? Anyway, take it & ride around in the car with it. Occasionally stick it's head out the window sometimes.

131. Go around during an election season collecting the signs for one candidate and making note of what house we took it from, then go and switch those signs with people who were promoting the other candidate.

132. Try slamming a revolving door.
added by ace2000
posted by pinkydoll
1-Dolphin sleeps with one eye open.

2-"silent" and "listen" use exactly the same letters.

3-An octopus has two hearts

4-Bull frogs do not sleep.

5-There are zaidi chickens than human in the world.

6-flamingos gets their distinctive color from the chakula they eat.

7-The hair of polar kubeba is not white it's transparent.

8-Turtles can breathe through their rear-rends

9-The sun comprises 99% of total mass of our solar system.

10-Butterflies taste with their feet.

11-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

12-there are about 550 hairs in each of your eyebrow.

13-A konokono can sleep for 3 years.

14-A human eye can distinguish 10 million different colors.

15-Women blink their eyes twice than men.
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
posted by alice1919119
This 15 mwaka old girl used to maintain a common diary with her 13 mwaka old best friend in which they wrote how they felt about each other and their friendship. When she discovered that her friend who had been a patient of clinical depression had tried to kill herself, she wrote this in the diary and it brought her best friend to tears...
The names have been changed as per author's request...


November 13

Dear Amira,

K so... without going on about any trivial stuff this time, wewe should know that I've zaidi than you'd expect to say about stuff I usually don't go on about on phone au in person......
continue reading...
added by Mollymolata
posted by slenderman777
About five years zamani I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I've always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few dakika of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and...
continue reading...
added by ShadowFan100
added by 3xZ
(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! PROPELLER KNIGHT! V.S. KING KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Propeller Knight: Bonjour, senior asshole, it's time to start!
Just don't start crying when I break your heart!
Your nothing zaidi than a wannabe king!
I'm a flying swordsman who can really sing!

I have a battleship, a girlfriend, and can soar through the skies!
Your just a 2 mwaka old who loves to eat pies!
Bring it on monsieur, just try to pierce these sexy eyes!
This rap battle will bring wewe to your ultimate demise!

King Knight: Sorry I couldn't hear you, my swag was too loud!
I'm...
continue reading...
1. Play hide and seek!

2. Tell your boy/girlfriend how much wewe upendo them.

3. STREAKING! ^__^

4. Give everyone hugs!

5. Give the homeless all your money.

6. Take a shower! Don't want to be dirty before wewe die.

7. Play the scariest horror game wewe know.

8. Tell your Marafiki all your deepest secrets.

9. Grab everything at Target. :D

10. Do the cinnamon challenge. With cocaine. (You're going to die anyways.)

11. zaidi STREAKING! ^___^

12. Take a look back at your life's greatest moments.

13. Do that one thing you've always wanted to do. (In my case, skydiving.)

14. Play some Pac-Man. :P Just because.

15. Go...
continue reading...
added by xwolf19
CELEBS WHO HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN kwa THEIR CRUSHES

Not even the One Direction lads get dates with all the people they like! Here's a orodha of celebs who have been turned down kwa their crushes.

Emma Watson: “Between the ages of ten and twelve I had a really terrible crush on Tom Felton, to the extent that I would go into work in the morning and look down the numbers on the call sheet to see if he was going to be in. We upendo a bad guy, he was a few years older and he had a skateboard — and that just did it really." She confessed her feelings, but Tom saw Emma in a “younger, sisterly way.”...
continue reading...
posted by KissKissHannah
There is someone on deviantART. Not enclosing names because they may also have a fanpop account. *shivers* My friend alisema he was a troll, but he's zaidi than a troll. He's a big BULLY. (The person I mean. Not my friend) He alisema I bragged about being straight (How insulting) and alisema my drawings were *insert a word that rhymes with hit here*. ;n; That was only because I occasionally drew on bases. He also alisema I was zaidi annoying than the annoying fangirls. Just because we have different opinions does NOT mean he has the right to bully me! I don't bully anyone who has different opinions! HE is the one that's zaidi annoying than the annoying fangirls! >:U
posted by ZacharyWhite
When some bila mpangilio girl added me on facebook... She was all like "Oh gosh you're so cute" and I was like "Yeah, sure whatever..." The again she was all like "Oh God I upendo your style!!!" Then again I was like "Yeah.. sure.." Then she alisema "Oh gosshhh!!! It's like I can hear your voice talking in your message!!! You're an emo right? I'm an emo tooooo!! :-D Oh it's like we're SO MEAN'T TO BE!!!" Then I finally realize and alisema to myself "Shit I have a fangirl... okay, I'm doomed."

Girl: Hello? wewe still there?
Me: No...
Girl: Oh you're soooo funnyy :3 We are so the same!!! Ugh! I wish I could just...
continue reading...
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her nyumbani because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
continue reading...
added by Dreamtime
added by Gretulee
added by karlyluvsam
Source: tumbler
added by taytrain97
Source: Places