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posted by TheFan2000
5:45 AM- Wake up, whine to parents about a terrible headache
6:00 AM- Discover that temperature is 99 degrees, go back to sleep
6:45 AM- Wake up again suffering a severe bout of chills and feeling extremely groggy
7:00 AM- Eat breakfast, make final decision to stay nyumbani from school
7:30 AM- Suffer another episode of chills and go up to bedroom
7:35 AM- Take a morning nap before chills get worse
7:45 AM- Become extremely cold, get another headache, crank up the heated blanket to the highest it'll go
8:00 AM- Violently yank off heated blanket and turn down heat after waking up sweating
9:00 AM- Wake...
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Chapter One- Dominence
    I growled at my opponent's blood soaked face. He was a brown wolf, his kanzu, koti tattared and split, giving him a look of insantity. He trotted in place, kicking up the mushy blood-mixed snow beneath his paws.
    His posture was dominent, legs hunched, spread apart evenly, his tail and head held high, but I could sence the fear in his green eyes.
    This was way to easy.
    My ear twitched, as if to remind me not to let my guard down. If this mbwa mwitu senced it, he could take me down. And I would...
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posted by Hot_n_cold
Nosebleed (noun) - When your boogers get their period.

Unicorn (noun) - When a narwhal and a horse upendo each other very much...

My hand (noun) - A dolphin.

Lent (noun) - A sekunde chance to fail at your New Year's resolution.

Imagination (noun) - The ability to turn anything into a rocketship; usually Lost at puberty.

Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature's way of getting wewe to slap yourself.

Just kidding (phrase) - A phrase used to get away with something wewe alisema and fully meant.

Etc. (adverb) - Used to make others believe that wewe know zaidi than wewe actually do.

Cleaning your room (verb) - Shoving everything...
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posted by karpach_14
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 sekunde AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The inayofuata morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her vazi and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
posted by RandomQueenOo
 Funny Cat
Funny Cat
1- Last night I lay in kitanda looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

2- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

3- Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

4- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

5- "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

6- The road to success is always under construction

7- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

8- If wewe die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

9- Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

10- What wewe call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what wewe call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hope wewe like them :)
 O.O
O.O
cabin, kibanda for the summer
By: moolah
Chapter One: Tori
Hi, I’m Tori Evans. I live with my parents-even though I just graduated from my High School-Saint Peters. I have a boyfriend named Laken whom I upendo loads.
    I was at home, after graduation whenever my machungwa, chungwa blackberry started to chirp, “You’re the reason why” a song that I put for my boyfriend. I answered, “Hey.” “Hi, Tori, guess what?” He asked. He sounded really excited. “What?” I asked giggling at his excitement. “Zack booked the cabin, for the 11 of us-ALL SUMMER!” He screamed into the phone....
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