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@khadi on instagram don't worry this is just a skit
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I do think that wewe probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add zaidi to the orodha when I find zaidi sites I think wewe should probably avoid. So if anyone sends wewe viungo to the following sites, wewe have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad kwa the name of the url but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS wewe ARE A SICKO I ADVISE wewe NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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posted by CullenProperty
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as wewe are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let wewe see us cry, unless we want wewe to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if wewe are interested. But we will later deny it au make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot au sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for wewe (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if wewe don't like what we wear...
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I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are wewe busy?" au "Are wewe doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...
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I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated kwa you.
I was so Enchanted kwa your beauty that I ran into that ukuta over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime wewe passed by, just so I could stare at wewe a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...
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1. Angel Eyes - call her this name and she'll either think you're lying au you'll get some action faster than a pit ng'ombe on a t-bone.

2. Baby Doll - is a class girlfriend name so call her this all wewe want even if she is the kind who will out chug wewe in bia and pull a monster truck over your face on occasion.

3. Bubble Butt - is one of those names wewe never, and I mean never call your girlfriend since this will end it all, and there will be no chance in getting back with her even for a drunken 2 am booty call.

4. Cuddle Bug - is one that most girlfriends will respond well to and will be an invitation...
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Good truth au dare Questions

Truth au dare is fun, only when all the people involved in the game are comfortable with each other. Here are some questions, which can be termed as good truth au dare questions, which will help wewe to break the ice and ease the environment of a strained gathering.

Which was the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Describe the strangest dream wewe have ever had in your life?

What is the one quality au feature wewe would like to change about yourself?

Do wewe have a crush on any of your friend's boyfriend au boyfriend's friend?

Do wewe think your boyfriend is marriage material?...
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posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys upendo flirts.
3. A guy can like wewe for a minute, and then forget wewe afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are wewe doing something?" au "Have wewe eaten already?" are the first usual maswali a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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1. I upendo the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I upendo the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I upendo the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I upendo the way wewe look at me.

5. I upendo how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I upendo the way I can’t imagine a siku without wewe in my life.

7. I upendo the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I upendo the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I upendo the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I upendo how I know you’ll always be there when I need wewe to be.

11....
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TRUTH

Who do wewe have a crush on?

If wewe had to tarehe anyone here right now, who would it be?

Name one celebrity wewe would want to make out with

Name five people wewe hate and why wewe hate them

Name all the people you've had a crush on before

Have wewe ever embarrassed yourself in front of everyone in school? If wewe did, what did wewe do?

What embarrassing thing has a parent done to you?

Have wewe ever cheated on your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Have wewe had your first kiss, if wewe have, were was it and who was it with?

Have wewe ever seen a parent naked?

Have wewe ever seen wanyama reproducing?

Have wewe stalked anyone,...
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1. Go outside, and if wewe see someone, take the bila mpangilio person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic kissing scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger kiti, kiti cha of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why mbwa only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to imba in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is...
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1- eye contact , if wewe notice him staring a lot at wewe ..like zaidi than 5 times in the same siku .(unless wewe got a stain on your shirt)
2- if wewe and him were in the same area , he would be with wewe in every where wewe walk to ( like a party au a tamasha ..etc)
3- he would sit inayofuata to wewe in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream au laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to wewe hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if wewe drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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found this stuff and i wanted to share with wewe guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)





1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person inayofuata to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your maswali to the class.

6.Sit in...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When wewe walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a baridi that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up orodha is on my dawati for the part wewe would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up orodha on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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Sweetie
Sweetheart
My love
Lover
Pumpkin
Baby
Darling
Sweetie Pie
Baby Doll
My Little Cabbage (French)
Love of my Life
Angel
Beloved
Dear
Dearest
Dear one
Deary
Flame
Heart’s Desire
Honey Bun
Poubelle
Honeybunch
Lamb
Jewel
Loveling
Pearl
Pet
Precious
Princess
Prince
My Sweet
Sugar
Treasure
True Love
Beautiful
Beauty
Gem
Saint
Light of my Life
Object of my Affection
Angel Face
Babe
Buttercup
Button
Cherub
Chica
Dumpling
Little Angel
Little Darling
Little Doll
Number One
Prize
Tootsie
Doll Face
My Idol
My Everything
My Life
Object of My Affection
True Love
One and Only
Inamorata
Inamorato
My Passion
Valentine
Dove
Honey Bunny
Smoochy
Babycake
Dream Girl
Dream...
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, au to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get wewe in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly kwa giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the inayofuata family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - wewe may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin cap, herufi kubwa and feed him grapes when...
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1)"Why, do wewe find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I upendo the sekunde grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and wewe actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And onyesha me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And wewe upendo it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
onyesha me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And kumeza it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a mduara, duara that had its two sides gently compressed kwa a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by pure-angel
I Found that on the internet

1. When wewe were young, were wewe involved in any kind of political protests such as for the Civil Rights movement au against Vietnam? Why au why not?

2. What tells wewe when a child is responsible enough to trust a lot?

3. What was your first car? What was your inayopendelewa car when wewe were young?

4. How often do wewe go over the speed limit?

5. Were wewe considered maarufu in middle school au high school? Why au why not?

6. Did wewe have big fights with your mom when wewe were growing up? If so, what were they usually about?

7. Did wewe have big fights with your dad when wewe were...
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