My name is Octavian. I'm eighteen, and I'm Camp Jupiter's augur. Which means I cut up useless teddy bears and read the will of the gods.
I'm scrawny and pale; and a descendant of Apollo.
I sighed as I walked into Jupiter's Temple, ready to murder the teddy bears that must have nightmares about me. au so the rumors say.
I grumbled, not in a very good mood as I grabbed some bila mpangilio pink teddy bear. wewe see, I don't just read the messages from the Roman gods in the stuffing of innocent bears; they talk to me. And I am not going crazy. Almost all the augurs have that kinda power.
Anyway, just as I grabbed the teddy bear, a voice in my head shouted, "No, don't do this to me Octavian! I am your...mother?"
My eyes widened, and I muttered, "Mom?"
The teddy kubeba rolled it's eyes sarcastically. "No, I'm just a teddy bear! Of course I'm your mother wewe dumb@$$!"
I stared blankly at 'Mom.' Then it hit me. "YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER, wewe JUST DON'T WANT TO BE READ kwa ME!" I shouted, shoving my ceremonial dagger into Chubby the teddy bear's neck and ripping it open.
"Dude...is that kid crazy?" A voice asked behind me.
"Na, he's far beyond crazy..." a familiar voice said.
I turned around. There was Percy Jackson and his friends, Leo, Jason, Piper, Annabeth, Grover, Hazel, and Frank. "SHUT UP!" I yelled, waving my dagger at Leo, who voiced the question.
"Dude, I am NOT afraid of pale scrawny eighteen mwaka olds that haven't lifted anything heavier then a teddy bear," Leo said, smirking.
My eyes widen. "OH NO wewe DIDN'T!" I shouted, putting my hands on my hips.
"Um...you look like a girl when wewe do that..."
I glared at Leo, who was doubled over laughing. "Shut up Flame Boy," I snarled. "I am not THAT scrawny for one; I gained five pounds over the weekend, so now I am ninety pounds total. Second, I do not look like a freaking girl!"
kwa that time, the rest had left; it was only me and Leo.
"Yeah? I bet the teddy bears have nightmares all the time because wewe kill their family!"
The boy speaks the truth Sir Moron-I mean Octavian, tiny voices in my head whispered.
"SHUT UP!" I shout to the teddy bears, ripping Chubby open.
"WTF dude? I think you've been hanging out with Dakota too much..." Leo muttered, slowly backing away. After a few steps back, he bolted to the Mess Hall.
As soon as I finished off Chubby the teddy bear, I looked into her stuffing. "Oh, Chubby, dead and fluffy, tell me a prophecy, and I will dispose of wewe later," I said, staring intently into the stuffing.
"Your foul behavior will be revenged upon. Beware."
I looked up, puzzled. What kind of prophecy was that?! Sighing, I knew the time for a break was due. I had been with the teddy bears for too long.
"IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY,
GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY,
EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN' mbele TO THE WEEKEND, WEEKEND,
GETTIN' DOWN ON FRIDAY,
EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN' mbele TO THE WEEKEND!"
As I sang the last verse, I put shampoo in my hair. Yes, I sing in the shower. Gotta problem with that?
Suddenly, I heard sizzling. What the Pluto? I felt my head, but there was no hair. Rinsing off the shampoo, I thought, What is going on?
I wrapped a towel around my waist and looked in my mirror. My head was bald.
"WTF?!" I screamed, rushing back to my shampoo. WARNING: DO NOT USE. THIS PRODUCT MAKES HAIR FALL OUT. MADE BY: JAMIE THE TEDDY BEAR.
I cursed in Latin. How did Jamie get in my bathroom?
"JAMIE!!" I screamed. There he was, smirking behind me, sitting on the toilet seat.
"Yes, Mr. Moronic Octavian?"
"What the heck did wewe do to my shampoo?" I screeched."All my hair is gone! It took me three years to grow it out like that!"
"Aww, da poor baby!"
I glared at the teddy bear. "You did NOT just say that."
"Oh, but I did. What are wewe going to do, tear my apart like wewe did to Chubby?"
I gave a defeated "Humph," and walked into my room to change into some real clothes. Who did that teddy kubeba think he was, sabotaging ME?
This was going to be a long day.
"YO, OCTAVIAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!"
I turned around and glared. Dakota was stumbling around, screaming bila mpangilio things about no hair.
People started to gather around and point at my bald head. "Where's his hair?" "Dude, Octavian's bald...wtf..."
I ignored them and walked into Jupiter's temple. There, sitting in the corner, was the teddy kubeba culprates. "WHO REPLACED MY SHAMPOO?" I shouted, glaring at them.
We promised not to tell Sir Moron.
I gritted my teeth. "If wewe do not tell me, I will personally burn all of you."
"IT WAS PRAETOR PERCY'S IDEA! PLEASE DON'T HURT US!"
I grumbled something about stupid praetors as I walked to the Praetor's houses.
Percy's house this way. ------>
Pounding on the door, I screamed, "PRAETOR JACKSON, WTF DID wewe TELL MY TEDDY BEARS TO DO TO ME?!"
Behind me, clicking was sounded. I turned around. Paparazzi.
"Hello, my name is Debra Waters, would wewe like to tell us how wewe got such a fabulous bald head?
"Dude, look at his face..." Leo muttered. We were all sitting behind a bush, watching Octavian.
His face was priceless.
I grinned. "Price of hair remover - 30 dollars. Price of getting the teddy bears to switch the shampoo - 5 dollars. Octavian's face - priceless," I said, high-fiving my friends.
SOoo, whatcha think? :D