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posted by felinefan
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link]http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5116940/1/Losing_Our_Heart[/url][/url]

Summary: Nessie's POV Had to get this down. What if when Nessie matures she falls for someone else instead of Jacob, One-Shot, no happy ending.

Leaving Our moyo Behind

My dad always told me that one siku I would fall in upendo and he and my mother as well as the rest of our family would go kwa my decision no matter who it was. It was funny but when ever I would ask him what Uncle Jake would think he would always stiffen up yet say that he would always have my best interest at heart. Finally the siku came when I had to put it to the test.

I had fully matured a mwaka zamani the same time that I had fallen in love, he was a vampire like my family, except Jake. He was a vegetarian like us and had wanted to greet my Grandpa on his way through Forks, apparently they had known each other a while ago. We had hit it off right away and no threats from my uncles would deter in any way, not even Emmett with his kubeba like size..

Eventually he had asked if I wanted to marry him and I agreed after all my mom had always alisema that the decision was mine and no one elses, though that seemed to be for Dad since he was constantly shooting looks at him no matter how much I tried to tell him to stop, he alisema that he would always have my best interest at heart, as would all my family and Jake. The siku that he had proposed to me was when all of us where at our home, even Jake was there as he was usually at the hospital with his Dad, not wanting to leave his side encase he passed away. I remember we had all been in the living room my Mom trying to talk Aunt Alice out of dragging her shopping with Aunt Rose, as usual Uncle Emmett and Jasper where competing arm wrestling, to bantering back and forth, to betting on sports outcomes. Dad was sitting with Grandpa observing, but not competing with Jake at sitting beside him, spending some time with us as Sam had made him leave to get some real rest. Grandma was in the jikoni cooking for Jake since she knew how much he liked her chakula and he hadn't been around for so long besides to check in.

I remember that I had just randomly alisema that I had agreed to marry him after my dad had asked me if I was all right, he must npt have been focusing on my thoughts since he seemed genuinely surprised like everyone. They had all sat shocked still before at once my family was all around me congratulating me, Aunt Alice wanting to start finding a place for the wedding as soon as possible, my mom and dad where both hugging me and I could tell they were both happy, yet worried for me. The only one who hadn't got up was Jake and I was worried as my best friend he was what mattered most to me. I remember asking him what he thought, for once he hadn't responded at once like he was usually doing, but he eventually gave me his ear to ear grin and told me he was happy for me, and any decision I make. If I hadn't hugged him and ran up to my room to call him and discuss our wedding I would have noticed how his grin faded. and how Uncle Jasper looked as if someone had ripped his moyo in half. The only thing I remember was how my moyo was lighter than ever when Jake has smiled and alisema he was happy for me.

Eventually I agreed with Alice on a wedding in Florida, I had always loved the beach, pwani and ocean, and while we where all aloud in La Push for some reason I had felt as if that would be a betrayal and we found a new spot where Grandpa's Marafiki had some private land. The entire family had come with me as soon the inayofuata week hoping to get the wedding planned out, except for Jake as his father was getting worse and he wanted to be there in the end. It had gone kwa as soon as possible to be honest I had felt as though I wanted to get nyumbani as soon as possible and had agreed to everything Aunt Alice had decided and we were on our way back after four long days. All I knew was that I wanted to get nyumbani and talk with Jake, see his father before he died, my moyo had felt empty even though I was planning the most special siku of my life.

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When we finally arrived back in Seattle I remember pushing Dad to drive as fast as possible, Aunt Rose speeding behind us on the way back to Forks. Arriving nyumbani to an empty house everything was as was left, the only different as Aunt Rose had joked was that the smell of dog was fading, her smile falter quickly though after looking at Uncle Jasper. Dad had called Sam soon after asking if Jake was there au at the hospital, all of us were both sad and angry when he told us that Jake hadn't been there nor phased since hujambo buried his father two days prior, we all felt betrayed that he hadn't called and told us. We all decided to mgawanyiko, baidisha up and tafuta through the land between our nyumbani and La Push since that had always been one of his inayopendelewa places to stay in between his pack and family of leeches he had always joked grinning from ear to ear. I even remember Grandpa offering that we would build a cottage like Dad's for him in the meadow so he would have a nyumbani away from both his homes.

It hadn't been zaidi than an saa when a scream that I recognized a my moms was heard and we all went running right to it fearing that something had attacked her, possibly the Volturi despite promises to leave us alone. Yet scene I arrived on being the slowest to get there had felt like it stopped my moyo completely. Jake was lying right in his inayopendelewa field, one where I remember him taking me when I was younger for rides, on hunts, my first baseball game. Uncle Emmett had lifted him into his arms in a graceful position and I could almost be fooled that he was sleeping he looked so peaceful. Yet there was the fact that he was covered in had to foot in blood and all around where he had lied was red as well, obviously like his body was trying to heal itself and replenish blood at an unnatural rate. Yet the wort part was that it was obviously his own hand that had done it as it was still buried in his chest cavity, right where his now still moyo laid. It was at that moment when own moyo felt as if where breaking as well.

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We where all standing in front of a similar scene to where we were just a week ago, yet for a far different reason. After finding Jake like that Dad had immediately called Sam and we had left to La Push driving as to safely transport Jake with us, despite the past animosity the tribe had with my family in the past none of the accused my family of having a hand in it. Sam alisema that he had felt that was what he might be trying to do, yet had been unable to get in contact as no one had left a number where we were with them. I had immediately canceled my wedding, no longer feeling remotely like getting married. Instead we had planned a simple funeral like Jake would have wanted even Alice had agreed on that, Sam had arranged for the pack to dig up a grace on the highest cliff face to the ocean, no one argued the burial place everyone knowing Jake upendo for cliff diving, having had passed it on to Uncle Emmett and Rose as well despite how she had always pretended other wise. This was the worst moment ever I no longer able to see my father as he had been chosen to speak about Jake since I knew I wouldn't be able to and neither would mom, he was easily Jake's closest friend after. The only plus was that Wanyonya damu couldn't actually cry, because I know Dad wouldn't be able to talk as he was know. I could hear my mom sobbing, losing what had been her best friend in her entire life, Aunt Alice was just as loud since she blamed herself even though we all knew she couldn't see the wolves, Uncle Jasper was in no shape to try and comfort her, both Grandpa and Grandma where there as well radiating pain and loss, of course they had unofficially brought him into our family a few years ago, and they felt as if a son, no matter how new had was gone for ever. Both Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose's reactions would have been funny in a normal situation, the big kubeba like man that scared everyone was openly grieving having Lost what was his most fiercest competitor, and Rose was as well despite how much she claimed to hate him and the smell he brought in it had been obvious for a long time that they were as close to him as he was to the rest of us.

As well all stood there as the ocean waves crashed on the cliff face, and a dozen Mbwa mwitu loups howled in mourning I knew we had all Lost a piece of our hearts we would never get back.

There finished, there is probably a million mistakes since my sisters computer doesn't have spell check, and the uandishi style might suck since I haven't written in a long time but that's it.

Also I was thinking of doing a sekunde part of what is going on in Jake's head, though I want your opinions.
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