Alpha and Omega Article: Humphrey's Monster: Part 1 First Transformation

Humphrey's Monster: Part 1 First Transformation

posted by Xscash232

Humphrey got up and got some coffee and he added extra sugar and went and sat on the porch and the paper boy rode kwa and alisema "Hey Humphrey" and throws the paper and it lands on the porch and Humphrey says "Hey Jeremy" and then he picked up the paper and sat back down and then Garth pulled up and alisema "Hey loser hows your piece of shit car doing" and Humphrey says "Its not a piece of crap Its a classic doush bag No wait your some stupid jock fag who comes to my house to eat cause your to poor to provide for your self" then Garth picked him up and threw him to the ground and alisema "Listen we fight tonight at the bar on Oakmont" and he left with his buddies fast" and Kate walked out and alisema "HUH whats going [Yawn] on?" and Humphrey says "Nothing" and he went to the karakana and got in his 1969 Ford mustang and drove off [Later] Humphrey Was waiting for Garth and finally he showed with his buddies and they began to beat Humphrey bad then Humphrey felt as if his body was tearing open and then he blacked out And His monster was unleashed and his monster messed Garth's buddies up bad then killed Garth and then Humphrey was back to normal and he saw Garth dead and his buddies fleeing and he wondered what the hell happened to him Did he just change into a Monster au something else like..like a alien....[End]

Red_Pyramid206 Uhhhh.... Ok not to be rude or anything. I really like the story idea. It's very interesting. But, a couple things to point out and I do this sometimes I do it. So, don't be discouraged or anything. 1. Story was WAY too rushed. You can save the story if you don't have time to finish it. Just click the "save draft" button. You don't have to finish it in one day. 2. You should go into a greater depth of Humphrey's monster, give it more detail like in the "Kate's Monster" series. Don't just go like "The monster popped out and killed everybody." The whole story is around the monster so don't rush that part so much. Anyway, again, we all do that every now and then and Don't get mad or anything, I am just trying to help. Again, I really like the idea and all. Keep it up!

hank666 i like it!

Red_Pyramid206 I like it too! It's just It's just a little rushed thats all.

JackLuver14 I agree with Red_Pyramid206

Xscash232 >>>...Ok I was in a rush i had work and i only had like twenty somthin minutes so i rushed a bit It was just a test article to test the water i'm writing the actual version of this which goes into to details Etc. So don't worry....>>>>But thanks for the advice Though Red Pyramid.

Xscash232 Cause i didn't wanna become a Copier Like some one saying Oh he copied that From Mitsi1911 Ok